The kids were away so the wife and I played.
Category: Cathy
Happy Valentine’s Day
Cathy is my favorite.
My Life as a Comedy – Sarah’s Car Accident
Preface
To fully appreciate the events you are about to read, you must understand that Knoxville had a snow and ice storm over the weekend. The forecast was so certain that announcements on Thursday night declared all area schools closed for Friday, except Pellissippi State Community College where my oldest son attends. The snow came Friday afternoon and PTSCC closed early.
We are a seven person household with five children attending five different schools: pre-school, elementary, middle, high, and college. We have one functioning vehicle.
Setting
On Monday, schools delayed opening two hours due to icy roads. Normally, Sarah gets a ride to the high school with a neighbor who teaches at the high school. To protect identities, let’s call her Tonya. For the past decade, I have worked out of my basement, telecommuting to answer my client’s needs around the world. On this particular Monday, I actually had a rare onsite appointment from 8am to 5pm downtown. Before leaving, I asked Sarah, "Do you have a ride?" She replied, "I called last night and Tonya wasn’t there but they said she’d call back if she couldn’t give me a ride. She didn’t call back so I’m good." I left. At 9am, with 30 minutes left before Sarah’s 2 hour delayed pickup, Tonya’s husband called. To protect identities, let’s call him Randy. Randy explained that Tonya went to the high school early. I knew Cathy, my wife, was fighting a migraine and sleeping in so I called Sarah directly. Sarah explained her boy friend, let’s call him Zach, would drive her to school.
Calamity
Cathy calls me a little amped, "Sarah and Tonya have been in an accident! Air bags went off and Sarah won’t call an ambulance because she’s waiting for the police. You’ve got to call Randy and tell him that Tonya’s been in an accident."
Confusion
I stare into my half finished first cup of coffee trying to shake the fog out of my head and process what I’ve just heard, "Tonya. Sarah. Accident. Call Randy." That doesn’t make sense. Other thoughts: "The woman is always right" "Yes dear" "Want a happy life, keep a happy wife!" I call Randy and about the time his very confused question, "Tonya was in an accident?" hit my ear, I realized Cathy didn’t know Zach drove Sarah so I apologized to Randy for the confusion and called Cathy.
Enter Larry, Moe and Curly stage left
If Cathy could be sheepish over the phone, she pulled it off, "Whoops. I just told the elementary school they had a pregnant woman in a car accident in the parking lot and they needed to get her to a doctor." Later that night I apologize to Randy again who chuckles and asks, "Did you know I was in an accident today?" No way! Then he explains, "See, Tonya took my car in today and I drove hers. So when her principal, let’s call him Dr. Barlett, checked on her because he’d heard she’d been in an accident, probably from the elementary school, she just knew someone had seen her car in an accident, assumed it was her, she knew it had to be me, and called to see if I was okay." Cymbal crash.
Annnd they’re off! (to a bad start)
Sarah has a portfolio review today near Nashville for a summer art program where she would get to live at a university and work with some very talented people. This is very important which is why I cringed when I saw Cathy’s tweet:
Why is the teenager dressed like a clown for her portfolio review? [Source, Twitter, @cathymccaughan]
After a grueling day yesterday, I failed to do the standard road checks last night. This morning as the girls were walking out the door, I found a nail in a tire. The same nail I found in the same tire weeks ago and forgot about. No problem! I could plug it in minutes only I was out of plugs. 30 minutes later, I had purchased plugs, discovered McDonald’s at Northshore and Pellissippi still has free air, fixed the tire myself, signed a conversation with an old friend, and had two very upset women driving to Nashville. Good luck Sarah!
Cathy wants me on the icy roof
From the mouths of babes
I dropped the milk. The cap popped off and poured all over the floor.
Me: "DAMMIT!"
Evan, 4 years old: "Dad said dammit."
Mom: * gives Dad eyeballs *
Amy, 7 years old: "Moooom! Evan said dammit!"
Evan: "No, Dad said dammit."
Amy: "Don’t say dammit."
Noah, 13 years old: "Evan, don’t say that. It’s a dirty word."
Evan: "No! Dammit. Dammitdammitdammitdamitdamitdamitdamtdatmdaaaaammmmmmmit!"
Mom: covering her face in towels to hide her laughter.
Dad: hiding in the fridge unable to breath laughing.
Uncle already! I get the message. Mouth meet soap.
From the mouths of babes
Amy, 7 years old: "I’m not going in my room because Sarah is asleep in there."
Me: "Sarah isn’t in the house."
Amy: "Then what’s that big lump in the bed?"
Me: "Personally, I wouldn’t call my mother a big lump."
My husband sense is tingling
I know..it could be that Cathy is bitter over yesterday’s overwhelming lack of specialness. But that’s not it. Something is amiss. Usually this means I am forgetting a commitment. Or there is something important to the Venusian
Happy Anniversary Cathy!
Cathy and I were married at Gatlinburg’s Ye Ol’ Tyme Photo Boothe and its been one grand adventure since then!
Saturday I was making grandiose plans to make grandiose plans for today. I remembered our wedding anniversary! This morning I received an email from a great friend wishing me a happy anniversary. She’d remembered; I’d forgotten! Today is Tuesday which means we stick to the family tradition of Domino’s Two-fer Tuesday so for our bronze anniversary we are having BBQ chicken pizza.
I cannot put into words how much I love Cathy! She moves me in so many ways. She has brought so much happiness into my life!
Cathy I love you! Happy Anniversary! I look forward to many more!
From the mouths of babes
I hugged the wife then Evan, the 4 year old, ran to us with arms stretched wide and exclaimed, "group hug!" Where’s he get this stuff?
frustrationfrustraTIONfruSTRAIONFRUSRATION!
I’ve spent the day trying to accomplish something that should have taken 40 minutes and is preventing me from doing the things I really want to be doing today. Something that I’m not even getting paid for. I feel that I’ve been constantly interrupted. At one point I declared, "I’m taking the next 40 minutes and finishing this" during which time I was interrupted 3 times. So finally a crisis hit. Minor. The 7 year old, the 4 year old, and the dog went missing in the creek. Normally this would not be a big deal but we’ve had substantial rain these past couple of days. Also, I believe there is a sinkhole in the creek that the children do not know about. It’s mostly covered with debris right now. It’s not really on my property and I’ve been wanting to clear the debris away to see if it is the entrance to the rumored cave that is supposedly nearby. Right now, I simply know that water flows into the ground through the debris at that point and I don’t want the children near it. So I channeled Coach Boomer (which I only now realized is one of my heroes, Bruce Campbell!) for some echo location and proceeded to be anything except that great TV dad that I so aspire to be. Several tears later, everyone is safe but mad at me. And I feel like crud.
We are only human
Either she was wrong or I was wrong but it doesn’t matter because now it’s not right. Dammit damage control is expensive!
From the mouths of babes
Evan was cuddling lovingly with Cathy. His head was resting upon her chest as she held him. As I walked by, I stroked his arm as I admired him and continued to toward my office. As I hit the stairs, I hear an excited, curious voice exclaim in question to his mother, "Did you have 3 hands!?"
For my wife. Who really has a thing for spiders.
I warn you. Watching this will forever change your life…uh…yeah…Well…maybe not but once you press play you won’t be able to stop watching.
We’ve been raided!
The adults are severely outnumbered today!
And on an adult note, Cathy and I had the unique pleasure to hang out socially, with no children, for several hours last night with excellent company while indulging in great Mexican food, fantastic wine, a wonderful view of the lake, in a secluded part of Knoxville.
