A juggling technophile shares personal stories, challenges, humor and perhaps some political commentary.
Tommy, almost 18: "Amy you can’t say that."
Amy, 6 years old: "Yes I can."
Tommy: "No you can’t."
Amy: "Yes I can!"
Tommy: "No you can’t! Quit it!"
Evan, 3 years old bouncing and chanting: "Amy, bebe. Amy, bebe. Amy, bebe."
Amy: "Evan, stop it!"
Evan, adds some sway to his shoulders and bobs his head: "Amy, bebe. Amy, bebe. Amy, bebe."
Amy, tearing up: "Make him stop! Evan’s calling me a baby!"
Oh how they slip down instead of rise up. Do the younger of the species always win?
Evan, 3 years old: "Amy, I gotcha your nose!"
Amy, 6 years old, covering face with her book: "No you don’t. It’s protected!"
Amy:"Hey! That’s cheating."
Evan:"I gotchit!"
Amy:"I got your nose."
Evan:"NO Ammie!"
Evan:"Give you me my nose!"
Amy:"No. Give me my nose."
Evan, crying:"NO.. AAAAaaMY!"
Noses should have been designed to stay on our faces better.
Mom: "Mister! If you are going to pee on the floor, you are going to clean it up!"
I know a vast number of people who think that because I work from home that I don’t really work. It can’t be real can it? That’s just not…normal! It is not normal. It is harder than normal!
I love my children and a benefit of working from home is that I can take short breaks and play with them or experience their special moments. But the children do not understand what I do. I have not role modeled traditional 8 to 5 work for them and they are going to be shocked when they enter the real world.
I just sent Evan, the three year old, sulking upstairs and feel horrible for it. All he wanted to do was spend some time with Dad. He came down here happily and sat in the chair beside me. But I was unable to concentrate when he started removing things from my desk (like my pocket knives), playing in the ash from my incense burner, and using the highlighters for horns. So I snapped. It was wrong and I feel awful. Being a Dad and a provider is tough.
Evan, 3 years old: "Daddy, I wanna go bitchin’"
Dad, removing the pacifier from the child’s mouth: "What?"
Evan: "Daaa, I waaana go bitchin’"
Dad, sitting down to type From the mouths of babes.
Evan: "I WANNA go BIIIItchin’ Daa!"
Dad, continuing to type.
Evan: "Daddy. We need to go bitchin now."
Evan, soft, extra sweet voice: "Let me go bitchin."
Mom: "Evan, are you a boy or a girl?"
Evan, 3 years old: "uhnt, uh"
Dad: "Evan, are you a boy?"
Evan: "No!"
Mom: "Evan, are you a girl?"
Evan: "No!"
Dad: "Say, I have a penis."
Evan: "I know you have a penis!"
Student: I don’t think there are enough drugs in the world to make me feel good about myself right now.
Master: What would make you feel good about yourself?
Happy Birthday Evan!
Evan, raiding my desk: "I found keys car Daddy."
Me, firmly: "Give me the car key!"
Evan, bolting for the stairs: "I need them!"
Evan, 2 and 11/12ths: "I wanna go school Dada!"
Evan, quickly approaching 3 but already an expert: "OOH peein" (that’s open to the uninitiated) *squint* *grin* "peeeas" (that’d be please)
I think, "Aw, he’s so cute." Then Evan hands me a box of 24 Durex condoms. That’s a whole 2 year supply!
Dad: "A little young for those aren’t you?"
Of course, if you help contribute to the vasectomy fund , I can quit buying those things and think of ALL the oil that could be saved! The material itself, transportation, packaging, manufacturing equipment, and so forth. Snip me, save the planet! You know, if May 27 rolls around and we still only have a penny, I’m tempted to DIY this procedure while streaming it over ustream. I mean, how difficult could it be?
Evan, 2.5 years:"Dada, take upstairs me dada."
My son speaks in American sign language! I wonder if ASL sentence structure is simply a more natural way to speak. Perhaps all hearing people should talking American sign language.
When the two and a half year old pours his milk into your tea, don’t throw his empty glass across the kitchen. It’s a real bad example to the children and makes a big mess. Just laugh and get some more tea.
Evan, 2.5 years: "Dada. My Amy. My Mamum. My Sarah. All gone."
Dad: "They’ve gone to a movie. We are having boys only at the house."
Evan: "I go find my mamum. My Amy. My Sarah."
