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Durex has brought us the future!

My favorite condom company, Durex, is bringing us the future! There’s not a geek that since the time of 300 baud dial up and ascii port who has not imagined the possibly of combining a serial port and sex toys for long distance love. Durex has created Fundawear, a combination of vibrating underwear and iPhones for what Durex deems the ultimate in foreplay.

Frankly, Durex’s vision of touch over the Internet looks pretty fun. Looks targeted toward couples but the potential seems enormous for masturbation or enhancing the experience with those paid Internet porn cam sites. Imagine a single person on Chaturbate wearing these! I can see a new iPhone app now. "RandomVibe" with choices such as "Use BlueTooth to touch a stranger within 30 feet" making subway rides exciting or "Wifi a stranger on your network" making office romance safer or "Randomly touch someone on the Internet" for Worldgasms. Ah! What about one app that allowed you to touch multiple people for "the virtual orgy!" If the generation of free love thought the sex partiers of the 80s and 90s were strange and those generations found themselves envious of the past decade and a half or so of shrinking clothing, lycra, rainbow parties, and oral and anal are okay because I still have my virginity and can keep wearing my ring, their minds will melt with the potential for the next two generations of virtual, supersafe, sex.

Of course, it feels like I’ve seen this before:

See also: Gizmodo and h/t to Angel Stewart.

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In yesterday’s mail

The Stigma

Apparently there’s some stigma around bloggers, particular mommy bloggers, doing product reviews. There shouldn’t be. I understand the stigma’s origins. The stigma comes from those ridiculous pay-per-post services where the participants are encouraged to write shining reviews in return for the product and/or money. They are disingenuous. The advertiser is not paying for the post. The advertiser is paying for search engine ranking. The 200 people who read that paid post, or even if it was 10,000, are not going to pay for the cost of the advertising. What pays is when someone searches for the product and the multiple paid posts have given credibility and ranking to the product in the search engines. As a matter of personal choice, I do not participate in pay-to-post programs.

Should product reviews be on a blog? Absolutely! The Internet is a reflection of the real world. In the real world, if I try a product I like, I will probably tell others about it. If a company wrongs me, I will warn others. It is only natural to extend that to the Internet. Some bloggers will even ask companies to send them products. They have the audience and clout to get this benefit. Reviews don’t have to be positive. The catch is that if you get a reputation for giving negative reviews, no one will send you their product. Mike Arrington recently accused Leo Laporte of of getting a pre-release Palm Pre in exchange for a glowing report and Leo took great offense.

I have products sent to me. I’ve had the best intentions of reviewing them but never have. Until someone starts BlogHim and lets us daddy blogs have cat fights over swag, I think I’ll accept products for review. Joan Goldner, a wonderful person!, sent me The Busy Body Book when my Covey planner had run out and I forgot Cathy’s birthday. I never posted a review of The Busy Body Book but it remains one of my favorite organizers despite being a Covey fanboy. I’ve been calendarless for 2009 but am just about to order a Busy Body Book. Read about it on their blog.

Yesterday’s mail

IDE to SATA adapter and LifeStyles Condom

Yesterday I received two products: a bidirectional IDE to SATA or SATA to IDE Adapter and a LifeStyles premium polyisoprene Skyn "closest thing to wearing nothing" condom with Excite female stimulating gel. I’m looking forward to reviewing both of these products! The adapter I ordered from Hong Kong for $4 which included free shipping. It comes with a circuit board, power cable, and a SATA cable. I recently tried to buy a SATA cable locally, just the cable, and it was going to cost me $20 plus tax! The condom was a surprise and comes with a survey asking for feedback on the Excite female stimulating gel. I think I’ll be able to find a volunteer to help me fill out that survey (pseudo related note: We bought Watchmen last night). Now I’m off to plug a cable into something.

IDE to SATA adapter and LifeStyles Skyn condom

The Review

Here’s your quickie review: The Excite female stimulating gel product..let’s just wow! No, let’s say that twice..WOW! WOW! As for the Skyn condom, anyone with a LATEX allergy who has been horrified by a polyurethane plasticized baggy as an excuse for protection can be happy to know that your polyisoprene condom lives up to its marketing. Not only is it as comfortable and flexible as a latex condom, it truly is almost like wearing nothing.

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I’m a condom commercial redux

targetbullseyeWe took the feral child to Target. I know. We have a reputation at Target. Management has explained that we aren’t allowed to leave our children overnight and we’ve caused other stinks. Mostly we are loud.

The cousins are in town so we joined them and the grandparents for dinner at Chuck E Cheese. Tokens were mashed into money munching machines maniacally. The seven children ranging from just walking to just driving ran, danced, climbed, made funny faces, chased, giggled, and had a great time. We left Chuck E Cheese with much daylight remaining and decided to swing over to the West Hills Park. Naturally, there was juggling! The children played hard and further exhausted themselves.

DDR AmyUncle MattCaged CreaturesMisunderstanding the slideNoah diabolos with audienceAmy the Monkey

On the way home, we reluctantly decided to stop by Target. With exhausted children, this could be disastrous. 20 feet into the door, Evan tries to wear some slippers he found on an endcap and when denied, broke down into screams and tears. I heft him up into my arms and carry him outside. I offer to take him to the car but he pulls it together slightly and we reenter the store. Evan is completely overdone so I decide to carry him on my hip. He doesn’t like this.

We each have our assignments. Noah shops for Cliff bars for his week of Boy Scout camp. Sarah searches for a video game to buy with the last of her birthday money. Cathy picks up shampoo. And Evan and I go for condoms.

Only one thing is more fun than taking a screaming child down the condom aisle. That one thing would be taking a screaming child down the condom aisle, saying "excuse me" as you reach over the other customer to grab a large bottle of Astroglide (click for a free sample) (see also Facebook and Twitter), grabbing a large box of Durex condoms as the child changes from screams to manic laughter and headbutts you, "Ow Dad! That hurt my head!" then watching the other customer hastily grab the nearest pregnancy test and run to get out of the aisle. Oh, of course, seeing the lady return muttering, "I didn’t know you could buy the wrong one." added to my amusement. I tried hard to say anything to her but couldn’t with a straight face. Evan and I make a good condom ad.

Evan has had it. Sitting on my shoulders often helps so up he goes. This gives him access to the top shelves where he grabs a box of band aids from here and leaves it over there. Of course, I cannot see what he’s doing. I mostly steer for the center of the aisles to keep his hands away from products. Sarah has disappeared with the shopping cart so here I am in the main aisle of Target with a screaming, squirming child on my shoulders, left hand holding the gallon sized container of Astroglide, and right hand holding a year’s supply of Durex condoms. Remember, I only had one penny donated toward a vasectomy and the DIY operation was canceled. I reach the checkouts. Evan is mad! We walked past his favorite toy and I would not let him down to play with it. Evan says, "I’m going to sit in your hair." He’s already sitting on my shoulders. Is sitting on my head an attempt to get down? He says it again, "I’m going to sit in your hair!" My eyes bug out. Spit! I turn to Cathy, "He’s going to spit in my hair!" Cathy, "How do you know that?" I feel the feral child bend at has waist. Sarah clasps her hand over her mouth, her eyes water and face goes red with laughter. Cathy laughs aloud. And the lady with the pregnancy test at checkout 6 hastily signs her receipt and runs from the store!

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From the mouths of babes

Evan, quickly approaching 3 but already an expert: "OOH peein" (that’s open to the uninitiated) *squint* *grin* "peeeas" (that’d be please)
I think, "Aw, he’s so cute." Then Evan hands me a box of 24 Durex condoms. That’s a whole 2 year supply!
Dad: "A little young for those aren’t you?"

Of course, if you help contribute to the vasectomy fund , I can quit buying those things and think of ALL the oil that could be saved! The material itself, transportation, packaging, manufacturing equipment, and so forth. Snip me, save the planet! You know, if May 27 rolls around and we still only have a penny, I’m tempted to DIY this procedure while streaming it over ustream. I mean, how difficult could it be?