Cathy, leaving for a meeting: "Don’t eat the children."
Me: "I’m cooking spaghetti!"
Category: From the mouths of babes
Funny things kids (and sometimes adults) say. Somethings these make you say “Hmmm.”
Sounds like…embarrassing
Noah has done so well with his phone that I was considering canceling the insurance plan on it (which is $4.95/mth with a $50 deductible..can you say ripoff? I knew you could!) So naturally, despite placing it in a ziplock bag, Noah soaked his phone at Dollywood. In this day and age, with five children including socially active teens, cell phones have moved beyond convenient toys to necessary family organizing tools. The rule of the house is that if you lose or damage your phone before your scheduled upgrade, you get a clunker from the boneyard in the garage. Noah ended up with an antique Siemens (phones are now BenQ). After complaining about the pixelated screen, he tried to pronounce the company name:
Noah: "Sigh sigh mens"
I interrupt, "It’s pronounced sea mens."
Noah: chuckles
Me: "Yeah, like that."
How could I forget about the funny homophones of middle school! Ew, better not say homophone around Noah.
From the mouths of babes
Evan: "Go jump o tramping"
Dad: "Look at me. Say tramp oh lean."
Evan: "tramp jumping train"
Dad: "Say tramp."
Evan: "Tramp"
Dad: "Oh"
Evan: "Tramp"
Dad: "Oh"
Evan: "Tramp"
Dad: "Oh"
Evan: "Tramp;"
Dad: "Oh"
Evan: "Tramp"
Dad: "Say Oh"
Evan: "Oh"
Dad: "Say Lean"
Evan: "Lean"
Dad; "Trampoline"
Evan: "Trampoline"
Granddaddy: chuckles.
From the mouths of babes
Evan, approaching 4 years old: "God dammit. God dammit. God dammit. God dammit. God dammit. God dammit. God dammit."
Dad: "I get the message already!"
Yup, a little bit of a repeat.
From the mouths of babes
Evan, 3.5 years: "I want a cookie."
Dad: "Eat two more bites of meat and I will give you a cookie."
Evan: "Close your eyes and I eat my food."
From the mouths of babes
Amy: "Tinker Bell is named Tinker Bell because she’s a Tinker Fairy. Leprechauns are fairies…in Ireland. They make shoes for other fairies."
From the mouths of babes
Amy, 6.5 years old: "Dad, what’s a death threat?"
Dad: "What did you just say?!"
Amy: "What’s a death threat? On the show iCarly, they talked about death threats."
Dad: "A death threat means I’m going to have to have a talk with Nickelodeon."
From the mouths of babes
Evan, 3.5 years old, comes down stairs with his picture in one hand and a Rockband drumstick in the other. He points to the picture with the drumstick and says: "We go here now."
He was pointing to the picture of the Midway Drive-in. I’d say we’ll be there for opening night as soon as drive-in season starts.
From the mouths of babes
Evan, 3.5 years old: "Zoooombie! Zooombie!" *bump* "Ow!" *thud* *knock* *thunk* "Oh ow!" *bump* *klop* "Ow!" bump! bump! bump! "oh. I oookAY!"
Evan: "I come down stairs to scare you!"
Dad: "Well you sure did that!"
That’d be Evan wrapped in toilet paper like a mummy accidentally rolling down the wooden staircase steamroller style. It was almost in slow motion. It was one of those parent moments where you are hoping the child is fine because you really want to bust out laughing.
From the mouths of babes
Every morning I do 3 sets of 25 push ups and 3 sets of 25 sit ups. I rotate so I’ll do 25 push ups, turn over, do 25 sit ups, turn over, do 25 push ups, turn over, and so forth.
Amy: "Daddy. Every time you turn over I heard this noise like a wooden spoon hitting the floor." (that would be my back popping)
From the mouths of babes
Dad: "Evan, go pee."
Evan walking past Rock Band drumset stops and pushes the 1 button: "X pee."
Evan pushes the A button: "X flush."
Evan pushes the B button: "X wash hands."
I’m thinking the Nintendo Wii might need a toilet interface. And yes, I’m aware of Super Pii Pii Brothers and you bet it’s on my wish list! (for those who don’t try to purchase it or add it to an actual wish list, Think Geek premiered Super Pii Pii Brothers on April 1st.)
From the mouths of babes
Evan, pointing to the gap in his upper teeth: "Daddy, need my tooth back. Put my tooth back in my mouth."
From the mouths of babes
Saying Grace:
Amy: "Thank you God for all this food and for the whole world you made well and Ben Franklin but you made most of he well he made some of .. ah somethings and since you made this world we should help you and thank you Amen."
Evan: "Thank you God for this food and for the bunnies helped make food and now we scare the bunnies away…and the sharks. Eeeeemen."
From the mouths of babes
Amy, 6.5: "Daddy, your belly is BIG!"
Dad: "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"
Amy: "I don’t know. It’s just funny looking." She then proceeds to put on some Teen Spirit deodorant that her 15.5 year old sister gave her. I’ll tell you what’s funny looking!
From the mouths of babes
Evan, 3.5 years old: "Why da?"
Dad, proper answer: "Because ____ _ ____ ___ _ ___"
Evan: "But why da?"
Dad, similar answer with more descriptive words: "Because ____ ____ _ ____ ___ ___ _ ___ ____ and _____"
Evan: "Dad, but why?"
Dad: "Uh. Because."
Evan: "But why because?"
Dad: "I don’t know."
Evan: "But why?" "Why?" "WHY?"
Dad: *brain melts*
Evan: "Crocodiles are going to eat your feet."
Dad: "What?"
Evan: "Crocdiles going to eat your feet. Got to put your feet on the boat Dad."
Dad, places feet on the chair in front of him.
Evan: "Now crocodiles won’t get your feet."
