Reality Me

Category: From the mouths of babes

Funny things kids (and sometimes adults) say. Somethings these make you say “Hmmm.”

  • From the mouths of babes

    Cathy: "Do I look inappropriate?"
    Me: "Very slutty dear."

    File that under things not to say!

  • From the mouths of babes

    Evan, bouncing: "Wake up. Go sleep. Wake up. Go sleep. Wake up!"
    Dad: "Yes. Go to sleep and we’ll wake up in the morning."
    Evan, with a gasp and loud: "Ah! THANK YOU Da!"

  • From the mouths of babes

    Evan: "Where going Da?"
    Dad:"Home."
    Evan:"I not go home Dad."
    Dad:"Where do you want to go?"
    Evan:"Granny’s!"
    Dad:"Granny is not home. She’s working."
    Evan:"I go see Noah."
    Dad:"Noah is at school."
    Evan:"I see Sarah."
    Dad:"Sarah is at school."
    Evan:"I see Amy!"
    Dad:"We just dropped Amy off at school."
    Evan:"I see Mom!"
    Dad:"Okay. Mom is at home. Do you want to go home?"
    Evan:"Yeah. Go home Da!"
    Evan:"I see trees."

  • From the mouths of babes

    I decided to teach Amy the Daimoku today and it is wonderful to chant together with her. At bedtime, I asked her if we could do it again and she wanted to chant then read a book. We repeat the Daimoku 3 times. What does Nam-myoho-renge-kyo mean?

    Nam-myoho-renge-kyo is the Buddhist prayer that means I dedicate my life to bringing out the very best in myself and in all people. [Source, Jason Jarrett of A Buddhist Podcast, A Buddhist Podcast – Bodhisattvas of the Earth, 24:17-26:12]

    Dad and Amy (6 years old), repeating 3 times: "Nam Myoho Renge Kyo"
    Sarah (15 years old) with shocked look on her face: "You’re brainwashing her!"

    Dear Sarah:

    Buddhism is about revitalizing humanity, and transforming the world we live in from one dominated by greed, anger, and stupidity into one of peace and happiness. [Source, Jason Jarrett of A Buddhist Podcast, A Buddhist Podcast – Bodhisattvas of the Earth, 2:46-2:58]

  • From the mouths of babes

    Evan, dropping pacifier to floor (no, he shouldn’t be using one): "Daddy, get my bop."
    Dad: "No. I can’t even stand up right now."
    Evan:"awright. I get mineself."

  • From the mouths of babes

    How do you fit 7 people into a 2000 square foot house? Some people double up on bedrooms. Amy and Sarah share a room. And Evan shares a room with Mom and Dad. For convenience, he is still in crib because it confines him forcing sleep but I anticipate that ending soon.

    Evan, 3 years old, bolts upright in his crib: "Thank you Daddy! Thank you! Thank you Daddy!"
    I was afraid to roll over and make eye contact because I didn’t want him coming to complete wakefulness. Playtime at 1am is not a good thing. Cathy was watching and said he was sitting up with eyes open but was fully asleep. He couldn’t have touched my heart more! I love that boy! After his thank yous, he laid down and fell into a deep sleep.

    This morning-
    Dad: "Let’s get ready for school."
    Evan:"Hurray! School!" but school probably sounds more like schual.

    Evan, out of the blue: "Daddy, Got milk?"

    Evan is now pushing my buttons as he refuses to get dressed and has declared he is not going to school. Monday, monday.

    180! Evan is wearing a backpack, dressed, and declaring, "Dad, I am ready to go. Ready to go."

  • From the mouths of babes

    Amy, in a gleeful mood, describing her day at school and tapping the front left part of her head with a single finger: "____, whose participating part of his brain got damaged, really likes music."

  • From the mouths of babes

    Mom: "Evan, lay down on the couch."
    Evan, 3 years old, not looking up from his toys but to brush his hair from his eyes: "Okay maaan."
    Mom: " Did you just say ‘okay man’?"
    Evan, not looking up from his toys: "I say okay man."
    Mom, shocked: "What are you? A hippie?!"

  • From the mouths of babes

    Amy, 6 years old, asking Dad: "Why is your tummy so big?"
    Mom: "Amy, that’s not nice."
    Amy: "But it’s bigger than it used to be!"
    Dad: "I’m pregnant."

  • From the mouths of babes

    Tommy, turned 18 today, and is signing his voter registration paperwork: "What is today?"
    Mom: "What do you think today is?"
    Tommy, irritated: "What is today’s date?!"

  • From the mouths of babes

    Mom:"I don’t have time for this crap!"
    Evan, 3 years old, muffled by pacifier:"What crap?"
    Dad, chuckling:"Yeah, what crap, Mom?"
    Evan:"Yeah, what crap Mom?"

  • From the mouths of babes

    Evan, 3 years old, going down for a nap:"Daddy. Wake up and go store. And play in water. Then come home and go sleep."
    Dad:"Take a nap first."
    Evan:"Okay."

    I love that boy so much! I love all my children.

  • From the mouths of babes

    Amy’s friend:"I want to play the step mom."
    Amy’s friend:"And she better be pretty!"

  • From the mouths of babes

    Ring, ring.
    Dad: "Hello."
    Amy, 6 years old:"I need a bra."
    Dad:"Uh. Usually you don’t get one of those until you are about 10."
    Amy:"Well, ____ isn’t 10 yet and she has one."
    Dad:"But you don’t need a bra."
    Amy:"I want a bra today."
    Dad:"Can we talk about this later?"
    Amy:"Can I get one tomorrow? What about the day after tomorrow?"

  • From the mouths of babes

    Cathy, eating a bowl of ice cream topped with blue berries and peaches: *Ach chuu!*
    Cathy:"Oops. hahahaha"