I’ll own this.
Category: Of Being Dad
Fatherly posts.
Me
I hate
From the mouths of babes
17 year old: "How many miles does the Jeep get on a tank of gas?"
Me: "About 228 before I get nervous."
Son: sends picture of gas gauge pointing to the red just above E and replies, "I can make it to school."
It’s time to hide an empty one gallon container and a $20 bill in the Jeep. Nothing teaches one to respect the inaccuracies of a gas gauge quite like having to walk for gas.
From the mouths of babes
17 year old: "The Jeep is partially in the grass and won’t move."
Me: "You mean it’s broken or stuck in the mud?"
Son: "Stuck."
Me: "Have you tried four wheel drive?"
Son: "Oh."
Of Being Dad
I really hope my children never read my text messages to my wife…I can’t afford the therapy bills.
Progress report
The shelves in the tool box have been lined.
Happy Father’s Day!
I tried writing some sappy Father’s Day post and it sounded so forced and fake. I love my father! He’s my hero. As I’ve gained wisdom in life, I’ve both apologized to my father (for my shenanigans) and thanked him for allowing me to live (how he restrained from selling me to the gypsies is beyond me). Thank you Dad for everything!
So, in lieu of sappy, I give you video!
The Excitement of Excrement
Seeing the first cat turd in a new liter box is almost as exciting as discovering your newborn’s first poopie in their diaper.
Weekend Accomplishments
This weekend I juggled for Children’s Hospital at the Zoo. I completed a split rail fence along my driveway’s retaining wall. I provided tech support to old people. I celebrated a friend turning 50. I purchased the most expensive appliances imaginable and they still won’t match my socks or fold my shirts. I performed hours of basement archaeology. And I awoke Monday morning exhausted and tender.
Fence complete!
Big storm on the way so I awoke at 6:40 to work on completing the installation of a split rail fence along the retaining wall. It’s now complete! Trips to hardware stores? Zero! Completion time including cleanup? 9:40am. I have so much time left in this day I think I’ll remodel the kitchen!
Heavy Rains Coming?
What do you do? Get up at 6:40am and do yard work of course!
Dad fail
I’m pretty sure I just sent one of my children to school without breakfast. She was so excited about her field trip that I think we both overlooked it.
Doug’s Dictionary
Marriage – the longest funeral procession you’ll ever live through.
Sleep should be optional
We should be allowed occasional weeks without sleep without repercussion. This is one of those weeks.
Part-time Mr. Mom
Man I’m feeling domestic right now. Dear Boss, could my wife go to the office for me this week? I want to do that whole Disney role swap thing for a week but perhaps without the body switching thing.
