Reality Me

Category: Family

Happenings in a 5 child, 2 adult household.

  • Doug Reboot

    So I’ve taken July off. Well, most of it. I return to work on July 24th. My goal is to clear my mind and to take on the world on July 24th with renewed vigor. The time off will consist of attending my sister’s wedding (happened this past week), to clean the house and work on home projects, and to hike the mountains of Wyoming’s Wind River Range for 8 days including crossing the Continental Divide twice and visiting a glacier then having 2 additional days in the Grand Tetons.

    The trip to Cincinnati for my sister’s wedding began with an evening meal with the visiting relatives.

    Sister-in-lawsBlurry familyThe kid's tableMMmmm dessert!Yummy dessertAlmost as good as meatGreat Wolf LodgeGreat Wolf LodgeGreat Wolf Lodge

  • Happy Father’s Day!

    I tried writing some sappy Father’s Day post and it sounded so forced and fake. I love my father! He’s my hero. As I’ve gained wisdom in life, I’ve both apologized to my father (for my shenanigans) and thanked him for allowing me to live (how he restrained from selling me to the gypsies is beyond me). Thank you Dad for everything!

    So, in lieu of sappy, I give you video!

  • Happy Mother’s Day!

    In particular, I want to thank the love of my life, Cathy, for being such an awesome mother to our children! Additionally, I am so lucky to have been raised by a great, caring mother who made me a priority. I am fortunate to have a fantastic mother-in-law in our children lives. And I have a wonder grandmother who never misses a birthday. There have been so many other mother figures and mothers in my life and my children’s lives that I would have to type all day simply to recognize them all.

    Happy Mother’s Day! This goes out to all. Mothers come in all forms, with or without child, regardless of gender, you are there for us!

  • Yard work…befuddles my children and pets

    I finally bit the bullet and purchased a new lawnmower. My yard kills these things. It has been a looong time since we have cut our grass. The dogs are outside with me with the most perplexed looks on their faces. I can read their thoughts: "I don’t know what he’s doing… but it sure is going to make pooping easier."

  • The Excitement of Excrement

    Seeing the first cat turd in a new liter box is almost as exciting as discovering your newborn’s first poopie in their diaper.

  • Weekend Accomplishments

    This weekend I juggled for Children’s Hospital at the Zoo. I completed a split rail fence along my driveway’s retaining wall. I provided tech support to old people. I celebrated a friend turning 50. I purchased the most expensive appliances imaginable and they still won’t match my socks or fold my shirts. I performed hours of basement archaeology. And I awoke Monday morning exhausted and tender.

    Dead tech

  • Fence complete!

    Big storm on the way so I awoke at 6:40 to work on completing the installation of a split rail fence along the retaining wall. It’s now complete! Trips to hardware stores? Zero! Completion time including cleanup? 9:40am. I have so much time left in this day I think I’ll remodel the kitchen!

    Fence complete

  • Heavy Rains Coming?

    What do you do? Get up at 6:40am and do yard work of course!

  • Dad fail

    I’m pretty sure I just sent one of my children to school without breakfast. She was so excited about her field trip that I think we both overlooked it.

  • Doug’s Dictionary

    Marriage – the longest funeral procession you’ll ever live through.

  • Sleep should be optional

    We should be allowed occasional weeks without sleep without repercussion. This is one of those weeks.

  • Part-time Mr. Mom

    Man I’m feeling domestic right now. Dear Boss, could my wife go to the office for me this week? I want to do that whole Disney role swap thing for a week but perhaps without the body switching thing.

  • Packing Frustrations

    Every pair of Smartwool Hiking Sock I own, and I own several, are missing. I presume Professor Teen has them all. I swear I’m going to quit my job and start a clothing company that specials in RFID chipped clothing including RFID chipped self-sorting socks. Normally I wouldn’t wear smartwool to a Bedtime with the Beasts sleepover at the Zoo but with the quantity of rain we are having I thought wearing something that would wick moisture from my feet would be nice. Time to repurchase all my socks and a clothing marker.

  • Bad foreplay

    One should not stare at his naked wife, pause, and casually suggest, "we should start riding bikes as a family."

  • Stupid Human Tricks

    When the cat starts howling in warning that it is going to wretch then starts doing the whole gag while turning its body into a slinky thing on your couch, wrestling with it will not stop the hair ball from coming and once you dig the claws out of the couch holding the cat at shoulder height will only result in an Andy Warholish splatter paint of horribleness on the living room floor…saved the couch though.