In the end, I will breathe my last breath knowing I will never have to touch another %^&# lawnmower again.
Category: Family
Happenings in a 5 child, 2 adult household.
Watching Nobody
I want to add security cameras inside my house because I want to kick Nobody out.
Bright and early
The students are on spring break. Amy’s school offered a trip to Washington D.C. so she got on a bus at 11pm Friday and returned at 5am today. Only the bus on Friday was an hour late and today it was an hour early. Amy, "I told Mom it was early." Me, "Did she reply? Considering she leaves her phone upstairs at night, perhaps you should have contacted both of us." Amy was not the last to be picked up but I had really hoped to have arrived at the school well before the bus. I like to step up and help unload luggage and talk to the other parents but c’est la vie. She had an amazing trip. And being up this early has reminded me just how much I enjoyed starting my day at 4am in the past. I’m just not certain I can do this on a regular basis.
Doug’s Mantras
"Trash goes IN the trash can, not ON the trash can."
From the mouths of babes
Cathy: "You are returning that funeral home questionnaire!?"
I am addicted to my wife
I have an addiction to Cathy.
Individuals who regularly cuddle can become addicted to each other. They can experience oxytocin withdrawal when apart.
Protected: Early Mornings
Guess what I did on the way to work!
I knew things were about to get messy so I put on some rubber gloves. I worked it by myself but was getting nowhere then a female sales associate joined me. The two of us grunted, writhed, and struggled but could not get it in despite having used excessive lubricant on the rubber. The tip got messy and we had to stop to clean it. Then it occurred to me to put some lubricant on my finger, insert it in the opening, and rub it around the inside edges. After that it slipped in with ease and I explained, "It just wasn’t enough lube. You had to use more lube." I gave it three screws and was finished. Btw, the headlight on the van is working now.
Things I shouldn’t have to say
“Act like you want something for Christmas!”
From the mouths of babes
Cathy: "Evan, do you have any self control?!"
Evan, 9: "No but…"
From the mouths of babes
Cathy: "I’m getting in the shower to shave my head."
Cathy: *glowers*
Cathy: "This is why you don’t talk to me before I’ve had my coffee."
From the mouths of babes
Cathy: "Why are you laying on the floor?"
Tommy: "Because it annoys Dad."
At least he is honest.
From the mouths of babes
Evan, 9: "Why do we have a weeping angel [on our bookshelf]?"
Me, with intensity: "Don’t look away!"
Evan: *Looks at me* *pauses* *smacks hand to face* "Oh, I would have been sooo dead!"
Kitchen remodel
I had planned a kitchen remodel for "the future." Mentally, to me, that meant 2016. I figured by then I would have recovered from all our other projects and expenses enough to tackle a DIY kitchen remodel. Then our fridge died. It joined the dead dishwasher. And the dead exhaust fan. And the stove with one dead eye. The time had come, and after a bit of deliberation, we replaced the kitchen appliances. A stainless steel French door refrigerator, dishwasher, electric range, and over the stove microwave appeared in the house. A blackhole appeared in my bank account.
The dishwasher installation required me to replace an electrical run from the kitchen to the breaker box. That was time consuming and not without a few swear words and some blood. After that ordeal, the dishwasher slid easily and nicely into place. But I forgot to cut the discharge hose free so I pulled the dishwasher out. With the hose now neatly run to the disposal, I slid the dishwasher back into place with similar ease. But it wouldn’t level. There was too much of a drop between the flooring and the space under the cabinet. I pulled the dishwasher out and added some wood to the under the cabinet space. But now the dishwasher wouldn’t slide in. I checked the wood. I tape things down. I checked the water line and the electrical line. In the end, the adjusting foot in the back was still extended and snagged then tore the vinyl floor. I can patch it. That installation took all day.
The only piece remaining is the microwave. But we didn’t replace the cabinets. Lingering over the stove is a 42 inch cabinet that once fit perfectly over a 1960s gargantuan electric range suitable for Mrs. Cleaver. Our modern range is 30 inches. We debated centering the range under the existing cabinet then filling the gap between the counter and the range with some handmade shelving for cookie sheets etc. Debated just leaving the range butted up against the counter and hanging the microwave offset instead of centered under the cabinet but that left the question of how to handle the duct work. Plus that would leave the microwave hanging too low to the range. We debated hand making an entire new kitchen’s worth of cabinets but didn’t want to wait 5 years to use our kitchen again. Besides, if I’m going to make my own counters, I’m going to lay down a new tile floor first. In dismay, I pulled up Home Depot’s website. To my surprise, a 30x12x12 wall bridge cabinet in unfinished oak was a mere $48.45 and in stock! This is a no-brainer. I couldn’t build one of that. At $49, it is basically disposable so we can hang it, and when the time comes to remodel, we can replace it.
That said, now I have to debate whether to risk doing this construction over the stove, or moving it and possibly not having a stove for several days while the installation happens.
Sunday mornings
The cat wants to play fetch while the dog wants to be on the other side of the door.