Reality Me

Category: Daily Life

Ramblings, often stream of conscious, journaling the events of my life.

  • Hardware/Software Support

    A service I provide to friends and family is cleaning up their computers when they start reporting, "it’s moving so slow!" or "I keep getting these popups." or error messages or whatever. Usually they are having a virus, spyware or malware issue. I’ve published my trade secret on how to fix this yourself. It takes me roughly 5 hours to clean a machine thoroughly. Granted, I usually do it overnight by sitting the computer beside me and taking breaks between programming tasks to evaluate the problems. You take smoke breaks; I take computer repair or social media breaks. For the service of cleaning a machine, assuring it has adequate virus protections, and making sure all the latest security patches are in place, I charge $135. In addition to software/hardware upgrades, I have replaced keyboards on laptops and even re-soldered a power connector on a laptop to its circuit board.

    Yesterday a friend brought her computer and speakers by the house so I’ve added a service…speaker repair (I’d recommend just buying new ones).

  • Wifely Secrets

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    My son just brought me a book I didn’t know we owned. Hmm.

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  • And then his brain melted…

    This week was ridiculously hard. No. "Ridiculously" is wrong. This week was f*#%ing hard. This week was not hard in the sense that I lost time to scheduling debacles or being constantly sidetracked. No, I worked my tail off! I’m exhausted but want to keep going.

  • From the mouths of babes

    Evan, 3.5 years old: "Zoooombie! Zooombie!" *bump* "Ow!" *thud* *knock* *thunk* "Oh ow!" *bump* *klop* "Ow!" bump! bump! bump! "oh. I oookAY!"
    Evan: "I come down stairs to scare you!"
    Dad: "Well you sure did that!"

    That’d be Evan wrapped in toilet paper like a mummy accidentally rolling down the wooden staircase steamroller style. It was almost in slow motion. It was one of those parent moments where you are hoping the child is fine because you really want to bust out laughing.

  • From the mouths of babes

    Every morning I do 3 sets of 25 push ups and 3 sets of 25 sit ups. I rotate so I’ll do 25 push ups, turn over, do 25 sit ups, turn over, do 25 push ups, turn over, and so forth.

    Amy: "Daddy. Every time you turn over I heard this noise like a wooden spoon hitting the floor." (that would be my back popping)

  • On the Internet Nobody Knows I’m a Dog

    I regularly talk to someone on Skype. He almost passes the Turing test. That second sentence should bother me.

  • Rearranged

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    My new desk setup

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  • Twitter Size Does(n’t) Matter

    Twitter ranking and stat programs come and go. In Knoxville I’m not even on the charts but in Knoxville, TN I’m ranked #11 (falling fast! Was 5th not long ago.). It’s all non-sense. Twitter’s value has nothing to do with how large someone’s arbitrary algorithm chooses to inflate your ego. Twitter’s value comes from how you choose to use it. So why am I jealous that my wife’s e-penis is almost twice the size (26.35cm) of mine (14.32cm)?

    Warning! Clicking through to e-penis is going to show a cartoonish picture of a man’s thang.

  • I’m Dead

    As I work through the disorder in my office and wrangle it back under control, I have come to realize I am dead. I know this because if I was going to create Hell for an OCD person, it would look a whole lot like my life! Not saying I’m obsessive compulsive. I just like things to have a home and be in their place. I figure I died in high school. I drove a little dangerously..no..a lot dangerously and was very lucky. I only had one accident and I thought I survived. Things are a little fuzzy and hard to remember back then and I suppose that has something to do with the dying. So, now that I acknowledge that I am dead and that this is a made up reality, can whatever greater power put me here please wiggle your nose and have everything instantly collated and filed?! Oh, and while you’re at it please get my taxes done. Thanks.

  • Don’t Panic!

    Probably the greatest words Douglas Adams wrote were "Don’t Panic!" and that man wrote a lot of great words. We accomplish nothing when fear and panic dominate our thoughts. A deer in the headlights is a dead deer. We must look away. Today I am drawn and quartered. Conflicting priorities all demand my attention leaving me unable to address any of them. I declare today administrative day! I will focus on no more than a 16inch by 11inch surface at a time. I will pickup and either act on, file or throw away everything I touch. I will think only of the task at hand. I have phone calls to make but not until I have some paper in order. Did that wall just inch closer to me?

  • Caution! Nervous Breakdown Ahead!

    I watched some of Always last night. I like Richard Dreyfuss and I like this movie. But like Pete I’m struggling to get my plane out of this nose dive and I’m afraid my engine is on fire.

     

  • Sunday’s Interplanetary Distance

    I was hoping to take the family up to play in a park in Harrogut in conjunction with dropping Tommy back at LMU for his last couple of weeks before finals. However, I think today Cathy is on Venus and I’m on Mars and there doesn’t appear to be any connecting shuttles. My be best if I stay here and clean my office or I drive Tommy back to LMU and clear my head.

  • Good Son-in-law and Frozen Food

    Some stereotypes exist for a reason like the whole inlaw one. So to keep relations on par with the inlaws, I left frozen mice in their freezer tonight.

  • From the mouths of babes

    Dad: "Evan, go pee."
    Evan walking past Rock Band drumset stops and pushes the 1 button: "X pee."
    Evan pushes the A button: "X flush."
    Evan pushes the B button: "X wash hands."

    I’m thinking the Nintendo Wii might need a toilet interface. And yes, I’m aware of Super Pii Pii Brothers and you bet it’s on my wish list! (for those who don’t try to purchase it or add it to an actual wish list, Think Geek premiered Super Pii Pii Brothers on April 1st.)

  • From the mouths of babes

    Evan, pointing to the gap in his upper teeth: "Daddy, need my tooth back. Put my tooth back in my mouth."