Code red! Code red! The last of the coffee grounds have been brewed. There is no more coffee in this house! Warning! Warning! Expect unpredictable behavior and mood swings. javajavajava
Category: Daily Life
Ramblings, often stream of conscious, journaling the events of my life.
From the mouths of babes
We just shuffled bedrooms. Tommy moved downstairs. Noah moved to Tommy’s room. Evan moved to Noah’s room.
Evan, bringing a picture to Dad: "I found this in Noah’s room." pause "I found this in my room."
From the mouths of babes
On Friday, Cathy had to go get Tommy from school for the weekend. That’s our deal with him. While he is on academic probation, he comes home every weekend for forced study time. Of course, that places me upstairs doing double duty of programming and watching the children. I am under the gun to get some work finished, wrapped, closed out and it is not moving fast enough so I lost my temper with the children about three times on Friday, once when the new drywall fell to the floor. Hmmm. Now that I think about it, this may have been earlier in the week when Cathy had a meeting. Cathy’s post on Amy Says reminded me of these words:
Amy to Dad: "We don’t want you to stay home and watch us anymore. From now on, you have to do all Mom’s errands so she can stay here!"
They will repeat what you say
Amy was tasked with helping to distribute the folded laundry and took to her chore with glee and enthusiasm.
Evan: "Amy come play!"
Amy: "I can’t play Evan. I have to work."
It is always a little shocking when you hear your exact words come out of a little mouth. At a Boy Scout event once, I commented to one of the other leaders, "I don’t think they hear a word I say." and he repeated one of my mantras then commented that he heard Noah say it earlier. They do hear! But sometimes the words we hear back are the ones we wish we had never said. Just this morning Evan spoke to Noah. I thought I misheard, but when I entered the room, Evan repeated the exact sentence to me that I uttered roughly three days ago.
Evan to Noah: "When that [2 sheets of drywall] fell down [and cracked] Dad said ‘God damn’ and got mad."
Evan to Dad: "When that fell down you said ‘God damn’ and got mad."
I had to concede that I became angry when I shouldn’t and cursed. I explained that we shouldn’t use those words. I will await the phone call from his Sunday school teacher and the preacher.
From the mouths of babes
Evan, hold index finger straight out: "I found boo ger."
Dad: "Hold onto it and I’ll bring you a tissue."
Evan: "Boo ger all gone."
State of Me
Cough cough cough gag. I feel like I’ve been coughing for over two months now. I’m over this. If it’s the high blood pressure medicine causing this cough then I would rather have hypertension.
So how cold is it?
It’s so cold that people are turning to witches’ titties for warmth!
It was -12°C this morning outside and probably 10°C in my office. I’ve had to put on the same layers of clothing that I would use to go outside simply to work in my office. The cold of my office has been so unbearable that I almost haven’t been able to work. I finally broke down and decided to sacrifice the door that leads from my office to the outside and covered it in thick plastic. The temperature in my dungeon almost instantly became more bearable! I think I’m going to get a little crazy with the plastic and see how warm I can make this house. Maybe I’ll get a spool of insulation and insulate the ceiling in the garage which is under the family room upstairs. What I wouldn’t give to be installing new windows right now!
English to metric conversion by OnlineConversion.com.
Of Being Dad
I think I could hire my children out to the FDA for testing the effectiveness of blood pressure medicine.
From the mouths of babes
Noah and I went to the Knoxville Symphony Orchestra last night. It was COLD outside. Unfortunately, all of Noah’s dress clothes are at his grandparents so I attired him in some black denim pants and a short sleeve solid yellow polo shirt. Yes, he had a jacket.
Noah, 12.5 years old: "I feel like I’m the only person in here with a short sleeve shirt."
Dad: "You are."
State of Me
Feeling a little more than outnumbered right now. What I wouldn’t do for an administrative assistant right now!
I did a little plumbing
Some programmers take smoke breaks. I don’t smoke so I take demolition/construction breaks.
And I made a cloud
Cold. -4°C outside. Brrr. So I took Amy and Noah out on the porch and threw a pot of boiling water into the air. Both children enjoyed seeing the water turn to vapor and float across the yard like a scene from a Scooby Doo swamp. I let them have their moment and did not bother with the science lesson.
Temperature conversion by OnlineConversion.com.
From the mouths of babes
Evan, 3.5 years old to Amy: "You be Mom and I be Dad."
Evan, husky voice: "Oooh honeey!"
My day in court
Tomorrow I get to spend the day in Civil Sessions Court. Just a little bit of my past coming back to haunt me. So today I thought I’d call down to find out the procedure. It went something like this:
Me: I am calling to find out what I need to bring to court tomorrow.
Them: I’m sorry sir that would be giving legal advise.
Me: Okay. How long will this take?
Them: I don’t know how many people are on the docket.
Me: How long does it normally take?
Them: Can’t say.
Me: Since I have never done this, can you explain the procedure to me?
Them: No that would be giving legal advice.
Me: You mean to tell me the process, the way your court works, is legal advice?
Them: I cannot give you legal advice. You need to consult a lawyer.
Me: I cannot afford a lawyer. Can you provide one for me?
Them: We don’t do that.
Me: Do you have a webpage that explains what I can expect in court tomorrow?
Them: I’m sorry sir. We cannot give legal advice.
Me: Feeling a little crotchety today aren’t we?
Them: *Click*
Yea! Tax dollars at work. Guess I should have gone to law school. I’ll just channel Alan Shore tomorrow and hopefully not learn what a holding cell feels like.
For the record…
If you decide to use the cleaning feature on your oven, and there is a fish stick left in the oven, the fish stick will burst into flame. The oven door will be locked because that’s what the cleaning function does. Since the oven gets so hot during the cleaning process, it locks tight and won’t open until the inside cools even if you abort the cleaning process. So you stand by helplessly holding a useless fire extinguisher watching through the oven window as the 15 centimeter tall flame burns bigger and brighter and the over continues to report "cooling" and your mind starts calculating the cost of replacing the stove.
Lesson: Pre-clean the oven before using the cleaning feature of the oven.
English to metric conversion by OnlineConversion.com.
