A juggling technophile shares personal stories, challenges, humor and perhaps some political commentary.
Ramblings, often stream of conscious, journaling the events of my life.
This past week we took the family to Ocean Isle, North Carolina and joined my brother, his wife, and my parents for a week of relaxation. I feel great! I am relaxed and my mind is clear. Time to get back to the grind and try to maintain this peace of mind.
Oh, that’s right, first day back from vacation is like being marinated in blood and thrown in a tank of piranhas…
Before:
After:
Loud thud heard upstairs.
Amy: "I’m okay!"
As a child, when I had a wound, my grandmother would send me to the ocean. "The ocean will heal that!" A cut surely stings wading out into the salt water but it does seem to mend quickly. Perhaps the healing is psychological. The fun of the surf making you forget your scrape. Maybe its more. This week we had the full moon overhead. It lit the ocean remarkably. Thunderstorms blew in briefly and gave vivid light shows. Tides swelled and the ocean gave both lulling calm and thunderous waves without explanation for the ocean’s mood swings. Great forces were at work. And magical times for long lasting memories.
We have not had a family vacation since the last week of December 2000. This was a much needed break. Time to go home now.
ps. We only got referenced as "The Griswold’s" once.
I think almost everyone had a great time on the beach today.
This morning dolphins jumped out of the water playfully. We have pelicans all over the place. The kids appear to be having a blast. And a couple of wetsuit wearing brainiacs think this is the Pacific Coast and are sitting on surf boards in the warm Gulf Stream looking around like, "dude! Where’s the waves?"
One of the challenging things about marriage is relationship management. In the corporate world, we go to training classes, seminars, mentoring, internal training, and read books on how to get along. In marriage, we wing it. In work, you leave the people you "relate" to at the door at 5pm. In marriage, you are glued to each other non-stop. People are creatures of habit and routine. We come to expect a person to be a particular way with a particular attitude. Vacations wreck havoc on routines, bring a new set of stresses and the unknown. Our attitudes and moods change with a vacation.
This morning I felt rested and relaxed. Evan rose at 6:30am and asked that I rise with him. I thought I’d be nice and let everyone else sleep in. Evan and I enjoyed some time together watching cartoons, playing with toys, and eating breakfast. I was happy. So I thought. When Cathy rose, I noted to myself that she was grouchy but I said nothing figuring that her morning caffeine was not working yet. Then came a moment where she complained about how I was relaxed then became terse and crabby when Evan got up. So who is right? Which one of us is the morning grouch? Doesn’t matter. Once someone declares me grouchy or crabby I turn into an ugly person. My mind decides, "Why try to be nice if when you are trying its not working?" Karma gets me back though. In my exasperation, I went to the porch to get some air and the door sprung back in my face spilling coffee on my most comfortable shorts.
Were either of us crabby? Probably not. We were probably working two different agendas and our moods are different than the usual. Subconsciously we probably assessed the other as off and because the other wasn’t working the same unspoken plan, labeled them crabby.
It’s a beautiful day today. I think I’ll spend it on the computer.
What’s tickling my arm? Oh, the cat is on the bed sniffing me to wakefulness. Look at the time! This house is hot. Why am I so tired after such deep sleep? My dreams. Tossing and turning. Programming in my head. All night I saw code and solutions to the programming challenges I have during the day. Do I really need to get up? I feel like I worked all night long.
I must work harder at calming my mind before laying down for sleep at night. I am not a practitioner of meditation. I have always wanted to be. Jason Jarrett helped me understand the Nichiren Daishonin Buddhist chant of NAM-MYO-HO-REN-GE-KYO and that’s brought me closer to a meditative calm than anything else I have tried. Chapter 9 of the book You Are Psychic!: The Free Soul Method
If you look closely at this picture, you can see the old Waffle House behind the new one. The angle of the picture gives the impression that they might be a single L shaped building but in actuality they are two identical buildings built perpendicular to one another. I assume the old one will be torn down. Seems like an awful lot of work just to have more of your building, an already distinctive building, face the road.
I woke at 4am having tossed and turned in bed for a length of time trying to cope with the demons in my dreams. However, my body still carried the weight of Monday’s burdens and I could not stay conscious. At 8:15am, I felt much better.
I have written before that the stress reaction used to make sense. You are on the savanna, a lion pops out of the tall grass and begins chasing you, stress kicks in causing an adrenaline rush, and you bolt into the forest to escape becoming a picnic dinner. The stress is short lived. But ongoing stress (days, weeks, years) beats the dickens out of you! [Source, Reality Me, Oversleeping]
I know a vast number of people who think that because I work from home that I don’t really work. It can’t be real can it? That’s just not…normal! It is not normal. It is harder than normal!
I love my children and a benefit of working from home is that I can take short breaks and play with them or experience their special moments. But the children do not understand what I do. I have not role modeled traditional 8 to 5 work for them and they are going to be shocked when they enter the real world.
I just sent Evan, the three year old, sulking upstairs and feel horrible for it. All he wanted to do was spend some time with Dad. He came down here happily and sat in the chair beside me. But I was unable to concentrate when he started removing things from my desk (like my pocket knives), playing in the ash from my incense burner, and using the highlighters for horns. So I snapped. It was wrong and I feel awful. Being a Dad and a provider is tough.
