What do you do? Get up at 6:40am and do yard work of course!
Category: Daily Life
Ramblings, often stream of conscious, journaling the events of my life.
Dad fail
I’m pretty sure I just sent one of my children to school without breakfast. She was so excited about her field trip that I think we both overlooked it.
Speechless
So much needs to be said.
Doug’s Dictionary
Marriage – the longest funeral procession you’ll ever live through.
Word of the Day
FU
Sleep should be optional
We should be allowed occasional weeks without sleep without repercussion. This is one of those weeks.
Part-time Mr. Mom
Man I’m feeling domestic right now. Dear Boss, could my wife go to the office for me this week? I want to do that whole Disney role swap thing for a week but perhaps without the body switching thing.
Packing Frustrations
Every pair of Smartwool Hiking Sock
For every end there is a new beginning
Another chapter has closed in the story that is my life. Naturally no ending is ever cut and dry. No beginning well defined. The postmortem for the past twelve years (24 years by some accounts) includes some dotting of Ts and crossing of eyes [sic]. Some dust either needs to be swept under the rug or cleaned from under the rug. Some final goodbyes need to be spoken. As the ink dries on the final words of the final page of this past chapter, words are already forming in the new one. Like any story, the initial draft may require a course correction or a rewrite. The outline for this next chapter, this next adventure, has the title penciled in as "Thus the massive decluttering and reorganization began!"
MasterCard was never an option
One naive mistake – $35,000
Years recovering – 12
Not owing the IRS a dime – priceless!
Bad foreplay
One should not stare at his naked wife, pause, and casually suggest, "we should start riding bikes as a family."
Stupid Human Tricks
When the cat starts howling in warning that it is going to wretch then starts doing the whole gag while turning its body into a slinky thing on your couch, wrestling with it will not stop the hair ball from coming and once you dig the claws out of the couch holding the cat at shoulder height will only result in an Andy Warholish splatter paint of horribleness on the living room floor…saved the couch though.
Lunch and forgiveness
Dear Lard which art in my belly, Harden be my arteries.
Thy heart attack come,
Thy fat be in views, as it is in muscle.
Give me this day my daily quarter pounder.
And forgive me this meal, as we forgive others.
The Golden Arches of temptation,
Deliver us early: into thine grave,
and the salt, oh the salt, high blood pressure.
Ack!
"So, how’d you end up in Hell?"
"Clogged arteries."
My guess
I hesitate to make this post but I have to say it. Yesterday was tax day…in Boston. I bet the bomber was some lunatic from the Tea Party. The Tea Party connection will be denied but this will turn out to be some fearful American who has bought into the ramblings of Rush Limbaugh, Alex Jones and the like. You want your country safe? It’s time to end the fear mongering, lose the hate, give some hugs, and start acting like Americans again. Make America rationale again.
