Every Sunday my wife claims I walk around the house grumpy and muttering about the things that didn’t get done in time for the next week. As my vacation is ending, I wanted to try extra hard not to give this impression so I came upstairs with what I thought was a happy, good attitude. So where’s the wife? Hiding in the basement to stay away from my grumpiness.
Category: Daily Life
Ramblings, often stream of conscious, journaling the events of my life.
It’s the end of the vacation as we know it.
I’ve come to the end of a genuine two week vacation. I’m very relaxed (except a dog is whining at me trying to shake my calm). It would be easy to slip into a state of anxiety because the list of things I didn’t accomplish that I wanted to over the break is very large. Depressingly so. But the list of things that I did accomplish, including days committed to sleeping in and chillin’, is substantial. This break included the Christmas holiday of course so time was committed to preparing for the day including shopping, wrapping and cleaning. This break included playing games with the children (albeit not enough..2013 shall include more play time with the children) and visiting relatives. This break included an overnight camping trip that started at 32°F and dropped to 22°F then rose to 42°F. It was cold and a sore knee had me concerned that the hike out would be too difficult but the trip was probably the best thing for the knee (2013 shall include more exercise).
For my final Sunday of my vacation, I plan only one thing. Anything else is bonus. The one thing I will accomplish today is to plan a cub scout meeting.
How to make Mom frown
Dad: "Noah come here for an important PSA."
Dad: "Curiosity killed the cat. Satisfaction brought him back. But only in a fable. In real life, cats don’t come back."
Noah: "Ok."
Dad: "But the cat came back for it wouldn’t stay away."
Dad: "Well, he came back in a song. But not real life."
Dad: "So, the cat has taken to climbing into the dryer."
Dad: "And if you ran the dryer with the cat in it you know what that would mean?"
Dad: "It would mean that our furniture wouldn’t get further scratched up."
Dad: "All joking aside."
Dad: "It would be bad to run the dryer with the cat in it."
Dad: "Because it is really difficult to get the smell of cooked cat out of cotton."
The Crux of the Apple iTunes Problem with Multiple Devices in One Household
This sums it up nicely:
Prior to iOS 5, sharing an Apple ID wasn’t really a problem because its main purpose was for purchasing content on iTunes, using it for support purposes and purchasing items on the online Apple Store – all tasks that worked fine when sharing an ID.
[Source, macstories, iOS 5 & iCloud Tips: Sharing an Apple ID With Your Family]
That sums up our approach pretty much to date. But here is the problem:
Now that Apple ID is tied to a bunch of services, a lot of which involve personal and private data that you don’t necessarily want to share with others – even family members.
[Source, macstories, iOS 5 & iCloud Tips: Sharing an Apple ID With Your Family]
And because paranoid society is paranoid, children under 13 cannot have an Apple ID.
Additionally:
The other issue is that iCloud involves a lot of data synchronization and this doesn’t work well with multiple people as it results in data conflicts and devices syncing data (such as calendar events) that are meant for another person in the family.
*emphasis added [Source, macstories, iOS 5 & iCloud Tips: Sharing an Apple ID With Your Family]
Naturally, each owner of an iDevice wants to be able to use services specific to that user. As parents, we want to control when the children purchase, how much they spend, and we want to simplify the syncing of their devices without having to put a Mac in each room of the house. There are six services that use an Apple ID:
- iCloud
- FaceTime
- iMessage
- iTunes Home Sharing
- iTunes (includes App Store and iBookstore)
- Game Center
Read section 3 from this great article
Why does Apple make this so confusing?
Goals
- Get beyond setup so the children can play on their iPods.
- Sync their iPods through a shared Macbook Air without compromising my wife’s iPhone and iPad settings.
- Allow the children to Facetime and iMessage their friends without compromising my wife’s contacts and without using her account.
Situation
We have one Macbook Air in the house. My wife syncs her iPhone with iTunes on this Macbook Air. For Christmas, the 7 year old and 10 year old received iPods. Yes, I understand DRM. Rovio Entertainment would much prefer I buy Angry Birds 3 times instead of one. I have no problem with that although I do feel like the model for DRM for music fails when compared to the physical world of records and CDs.
Possible solutions
As best I can tell, there are four ways to manage multiple devices with iTunes.
Each of these has their respective pros and cons.
Individual User Accounts
Since each user account is its own space, that means each user has their own iTunes library and sync settings for their iOS device. Easy to understand, (relatively) easy to set up, and easy to maintain–it’s a good approach!
[Source, About.com, 4 Ways to Use Multiple iPods on One Computer]
The problem with this approach is Apple doesn’t allow children under 13 to have an AppleID. So you are faced with lying and apparently Apple permanently associates the age first entered with the email address. Sharing of apps and music is difficult or impossible (DRM…and I’m okay with that).
Multiple iTunes Libraries
With this method, each person who uses the computer has their own iTunes library and sync settings. This way, you won’t get music, apps, or movies mixed across iTunes libraries (unless you want to) and won’t end up with someone else’s content on your iPod by mistake.
The downsides of this approach are that parental controls on content apply to all iTunes libraries (with user accounts, they’re different for each account) and that each user’s space is not as cleanly separate. Still, this is a good option that’s easy to set up.
[Source, About.com, 4 Ways to Use Multiple iPods on One Computer]
Although promising, this approach seems burdensome and ripe for making errors since iTunes launches the last used library by default.
Management Screen
With this approach, you choose what content from each of the tabs in the management screen you want on your device. Other people using the computer do the same thing.
The downsides of this technique include that it only allows one setting for parental control of content and it can be imprecise (for instance, you might only want some music from an artist, but if someone else adds more of that artist’s music, it could end up on your iPod).
So, even though it’s messy, this is a very easy way to manage multiple iPods.
[Source, About.com, 4 Ways to Use Multiple iPods on One Computer]
I believe this is how my wife has been managing multiple devices in the past. It does allow for sharing of certain apps and music but if a child starts syncing with a different iTunes library, your personal device will start prompting you for their password in addition to yours in certain circumstances. I am also not sure that this approach will allow the children to use Facetime, iCloud, and iMessage the way we want. Instead the 5GB of space on iCloud may end up being shared between all the devices while the iMessages intended only for my wife (nudge nudge) could inadvertently be seen by the children.
Playlists
Downsides of this approach include that everything each person adds to the iTunes library is mixed together, the same content restrictions for all users, and the possibility that your playlist could be accidentally deleted and you’d have to re-create it.
[Source, About.com, 4 Ways to Use Multiple iPods on One Computer]
I am afraid this will also have the problem noted above with Facetime, iCloud, and iMessage.
Conclusion
Apple has made this unnecessarily confusing. It’s as if Apple is adult techie centric and in no way thinking about the way a family might use their devices. For instance, the iPad does not support multiple logins or even a level of control that would allow your child to safely use the device. Cathy is constantly having to rename folders and put applications back in the correct spot because she cannot hand the iPod to the child in a locked down mode. A simple second password with attached restrictions such as "cannot view certain applications" or "cannot rename folders." With such an approach Apple could allow unlimited screen lock passwords that would allow settings for the adult, the teen, the child, or even the toddler (and yes, toddlers use iPads).
So, how do you manage multiple iDevices in your house? And with children under 13?
Dat Hair!
When you can do a decent impersonation of Heat Miser, it may be time for a haircut. Of course, the wife said to get one before Thanksgiving and it is now a week before Christmas.
On Being Married
It’s one of those man versus women things.
When he hurts her feelings, he has to grovel.
When she hurts his feelings, he has to grovel.
Saturday night / Sunday morning
For Medical Malady Saturday, I tried slicing off the tip of my finger at William Sonoma (last night). Did not have a drop of alcohol, medication, pain pill, or other intoxicant. Woke up this morning feeling hung over.
As for William Sonoma, Cathy and I were looking for a shrimp fork and I stumbled onto their shaved ice machine
The scary thing is that, unlike other machines I have seen which only activate when the lid is closed over the blades, this machine has a toggle on/off switch meaning I (or a child) could have stupidly reached the blades while the machine was in operation.
I bet the quality of shaved ice produced by this machine is excellent. Despite the plastic, it is a nice looking appliance.
So, the second I felt my finger contact the blade I yanked my hand out of the machine and shoved it into the palm of my other hand applying a lot of pressure. I knew it was bad. I told Cathy, "I did something stupid." She wanted to see but I was afraid I’d spray blood across the store so I walked to an employee and quietly and calmly said, "I cut myself on one of your appliances. I need to use your bathroom." She replied, "We cannot let you in our bathroom but there are bathrooms in the food court." I explained that I was bleeding badly and asked if she could kindly bring me a paper towel. She returned a moment later to invite me into their special kitchen in the employee only space (by the way, it’s like Santa’s workshop back there) but they would not allow my wife to come with me. I ran my hand under cold water. The staff were very kind and attentive yet seemed flustered. 
I suspect this store could use a little more emergency preparedness training. They couldn’t find paper towels. They brought a spray antiseptic asking if I wanted that. They didn’t seem to know where their first aid kit was. They offered a variety of "maybe" suggestions. Maybe this will help. Maybe that will help. I was calm and jovial the entire time. Several times I explained it was my own stupidity and "no big deal." Finally I said, "It’s okay. I’m trained in first aid." The person with me visibly breathed a sigh of relief. I asked for a dry paper towel noting a bandaid would not stick on a wet hand. We put the bandaid on tightly and added a second for good measure. They handed me a bandaid for the road. I filled out some paperwork. Thanked them. And promptly left the store. I’d taken the happiness out of our shopping for the evening.
Why must they fight?
Nothing makes me feel like a failure of a father more than listening to my children fight. I could understand an occasional fight but my seven and ten year old seem to make a sport out of squabbling and it pushes me over the edge. After the 99th attempt at calmly trying to discuss their conflict with them, I lost it and with a voice that I’m sure Santa could hear at the North Pole, I threw the "I’m cancelling Christmas" card and stormed off to the kitchen where I both chastised myself and snickered at myself. Really? Canceling Christmas? Dad fail.
Happy Holidays
I love this time of year.
Happy Holidays
I hate this time of year.
Breaking point
Remember that physics class in college with the really cool machine that would stretch the metal rods until the deformed and snapped. Yup. I’m the rod.
Rainy Days And Mondays
Rainy days mean wife with migraine. One child home sick. I suspect the plague is about to run through our house. The rain is cold but peaceful. I’m happy (struggling to keep the seasonal stress from pulling me down), albeit tired, and looking forward to this day but I had to include this song.
Lessons from last night
Having now experienced someone having cardiac arrest in a restaurant, here’s what they don’t tell you in the training:
- You will forget your training (you aren’t a professional) so just do compressions and don’t worry about the rest
- The crowd will be an obstacle. Managing the crowd is as important as managing the victim. If you have a leadership skillset and can issue instructions instead of doing the CPR yourself, focus on managing the crowd. Get them to shut up so the caregivers can focus on the victim.
- If you aren’t doing the CPR, the caregiver giving the CPR is probably having a lot of self-doubt. Reassure them that they are doing it correctly. And by correctly, I mean doing compressions.
- No one knows what an AED is (see also). And despite your training, you will forget to ask for one but that’s okay because it turns out most restaurants and businesses do not have one (which is not okay).
Get trained in CPR (see also) and review your training regularly. Remember, it is the victim’s emergency and not yours. Stay calm and take action.
Last night a man died
[n.b. This is the event as I remember it. I tried not to add embellishments. I have no idea how others saw this play out.]
Cathy had a beginning of a migraine and our Saturday go to place, Stirfry Cafe, had a private event for another hour. I took Cathy to Surin. It’s a quiet restaurant with a large Budda and a fountain in the main seating area and is generally serene. I was under-dressed which may or may not have been the reason we were seated in the lounge area. In hindsight, their seating was unbalanced so the tshirt and jeans probably had little to do with the seating location.
We joked with the waiter. Our food came. Then there was a commotion which we presumed was the wait staff singing happy birthday to a patron. Then a waitress ran into the back yelling, "does anyone know CPR?"
I was on my feet before thinking. As I raced through the lounge to the main room, my first thought was "what about liability?" I know about the good Samaritan law and the thought almost didn’t complete as it was interrupted with a rush of memories of my CPR training. Then I exited the lounge and entered the main dining area and the scene made me freeze. The victim, a larger man probably in his mid-60s, lay on the floor pale white. Eight to a dozen people surrounded the victim. A person on the phone, apparently with 9-1-1, tried yelling instructions. Someone pumped on the victim’s chest while others cried, "is he breathing?" A relative cried hysterically and was eventually carried away by the wait staff. There were too many people. I blanked. Surely someone more knowledgeable than me would take control. I’m an authoritarian leader with a loud voice but I could not get myself to utter the words, "I’m trained. Everyone be quiet and let me help." The person giving compressions walked away. I recognized my gloves and breathing mask were in the car. I failed to ask the manager if they had an AED. The victim made a noise and someone declared, "He’s breathing." He wasn’t. His mouth foamed with a sticky white grossness. I recognized another man going through my same hesitation. He and I both knew what to do and were hesitating. A man yelled, "move, I’m with the sheriff’s department." He was as uncertain as the other guy and me. He kneeled beside the victim and I could see him going through the steps we’ve all been taught but not doing compressions. I started to push him aside to begin compressions myself but he finally began pumping the victims chest. The crowd continued to scream mixed instructions like the audience at a boxing match.
I heard instructions of CPR trainings that the Red Cross had altered for so many years. I heard "he’s choking" "clear his airway" "Roll him on his side" "Turn his head" "Push on his stomach" To that one I loudly refuted, "No! Do not push on his stomach. Keep your compressions on his sternum." I felt like I was screaming at the ocean and my words were quashed by the crowd. I should have announced, "if you aren’t giving CPR, please back up and be quiet so we can save this man." I couldn’t. My mind was too busy trying to figure out what I should be doing to help. I considered giving the victim mouth to mouth but I didn’t have protection and my last trainer really implored us to always use a mouth guard and gloves. Plus I know that the current philosophy is that breathing for the victim does little to help and that chest compressions move oxygen to the brain and dislodge blocked airways. Compressions. Compressions. Compressions. Besides, in my heart of hearts, I knew this guy was gone. He’d died before he hit the floor. I chose not to do mouth to mouth.
The guy from the sheriff’s department stopped compressions. I could read in his face that he was questioning whether or not he was forgetting something. I shouted, "Keep doing compressions. Staying alive!" Anyone with recent CPR training has been taught that the Bee Gees song Staying Alive is the correct tempo for chest compressions. Coincidentally, I was reminded of this fact this morning while reading Life Pro Tips on Reddit.
LPT: If you have to do CPR, keep the beat by singing “Stayin’ Alive” (exact rhythm of CPR) (self.LifeProTips) by drdeteck
I felt my shout was unheard but the guy doing compressions returned to doing compressions. Someone asked for gloves. I ran to the car for mine forgetting that a restaurant probably had boxes and boxes of gloves and sure enough when I returned he was gloved but it was a new guy doing the compressions and the guy from the sheriff’s department had moved to the head of the victim. I said, "let me know if you need help with compressions" but I doubted myself. The guy from the sheriff’s department said, "Tell me if you are tired." While I was getting my gloves, I could hear the ambulance coming. The restaurant propped the doors. The crowd screamed, "Get out of the way. The paramedics are here." I shouted back, "Keep doing compressions until the paramedics tell you to stop." My voice trailed into the abyss. The paramedics rolled a gurney into the restaurant and the crowd said in unison, "Get out of the way." I spoke back, "Keep doing compressions." Or did I think it? As the paramedic got beside the man doing compressions, he stood up to get out of the way and without a word, the paramedic gently placed a hand on his shoulder and pushed him back down to the victim to keep doing compressions. I turned back to the lounge to see my wife standing there. We returned to our table. Forced down our final bites of food. Paid the bill and drove solemnly home.
My parting thought was that I need to schedule a refresher on my CPR training and that this experience has made me better prepared for the next time this happens.
See also: Lessons from last night and Cathy’s perspective.
