Don’t drink and buy apps for your cat.
I awake at 4am and suddenly all the animals think, "Yea! New feeding time!"
How to make Mom frown
Dad: "Noah come here for an important PSA."
Dad: "Curiosity killed the cat. Satisfaction brought him back. But only in a fable. In real life, cats don’t come back."
Dad: "But the cat came back for it wouldn’t stay away."
Dad: "Well, he came back in a song. But not real life."
Dad: "So, the cat has taken to climbing into the dryer."
Dad: "And if you ran the dryer with the cat in it you know what that would mean?"
Dad: "It would mean that our furniture wouldn’t get further scratched up."
Dad: "All joking aside."
Dad: "It would be bad to run the dryer with the cat in it."
Dad: "Because it is really difficult to get the smell of cooked cat out of cotton."