"Murphy was an optimist!"
The stress addict’s prayer April 9, 2024 10:08 am
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Humor, PhilosophyGive us this day our daily Xanax
Calm the mind and lead us not into day drinking
Forgive us our craving for the productivity of cocaine
Ritalin this Batman
Speed our inattention away
For twenty, fuck it.
add a commentSeeking counsel February 18, 2020 10:10 am
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Humor, PhilosophyTherapist: “What issues would you like to discuss?”
Me: “blah blah blah”
Therapist: backs away slowly never taking eyes off of me
Why do we not see species other than humans drinking milk as adults? June 7, 2018 3:32 pm
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Humor, Philosophy
The Anxiety Prayer October 19, 2017 10:53 am
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Humor, PhilosophyGive us this day our daily Xanax
To sedate us from irrational outbursts and tears
And lead us not into stressful situations
But deliver us into mild sedation
For thine is the powder
Pressed into pill form
For calm and calmer. Amen.
What do you do with spam? I reply. May 19, 2017 1:17 pm
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, HumorI get it. I know I’m talking to a bot. But sometimes, I just have to reply.
Honest liana to me
Ohh My GOD You are a very handsome looking man and it’s hard for me to believe why such a handsome looking man like you be alone over there without getting ladies chasing on you.I just join Amateurmach today and read you profile and found it very interested, Well am really impressed by your profile and I would wish to get to know more about you to see where this will lead us in the future i am not here for games nor drama either would really like to find someone who is looking for something real on here there is no harm in trying would let’s take chance and see where these could lead us into.Me to Honest liana:
I am so glad you found me! You are young and look like you would have good eggs. I am fascinated with the Duggar family and am hoping to find someone who wants to make 18 or 20 babies of her own. We can even have our own reality tv show from the very beginning!Honest liana to me
Hello good morning how are u doing.. are u on Google a hangout for us to chat?Me to Honest liana:
I think chatting is good. I will look into Google a hangout. I am excited that you want so many babies. I think we should live stream it all! We can video document all the babies’ conceptions and charge people to watch. Then we can live stream, like on Facebook live, the births and document every moment of their lives on blogs and snapchat. Just imagine how cool it will be with the world watching as that first baby pushes its head out of your vagina into the world. We can make a montage video with all 18 babies emerging at once! This will be so cool.Honest liana to me
I sent u an invite on google hangout come acceptme
Aaand that’s where I hit the spam button.
Here’s another:
add a commentLucinda Elley to me:
I Am Ayisahtu osman i am single i have no kids i am here for a man to spend the rest of my life with if you are interested Kindly messaged me On hangoutsMe to Lucinda Elley:
Let me check with the wife tonight and see how she feels about this.
When a Republican calls me a libtard January 26, 2017 2:03 pm
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Humor, Philosophy, Politics, Touchy SubjectsWhenever I get into a political debate and a Republican calls me a libtard, I retort, "Well, I find you repugnant." Then they just stare at me blankly because I used a big word.
add a commentWhen your history teacher tries to break into comedy November 21, 2016 12:36 pm
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Humor, PhilosophyWhen your history teacher does comedy to make ends meet.
add a commentiPhone 7s next audio upgrade September 16, 2016 11:28 am
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Humor, PhilosophyAt first I laughed, then it occurred to me that this could work very well!
Boozin’ Bozo is your m-f’ing friend December 13, 2014 10:46 am
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Humor, Of InterestI have too many friends who will enjoy this brilliance by Billie Ballantine? to not post. That said, if you are 18 or under, don’t watch this video. If you have sensitive ears, don’t watch this video (language warning). If you are afraid of clowns, don’t watch…hell, watch this video, Boozin’ Bozo? is your M-F friend!
WARNING: GRAPHIC LANGUAGE/SCARY CLOWNS
"Totally insane is an Original Composition Written, Produced and Performed by Billie Ballantine
Back Beat by Jordon Reese"
See also https://www.tsu.co/BoozinBozo
If you aren’t on tsu yet, join via https://www.tsu.co/djuggler
add a commentAnxiety Drugs and Addiction April 24, 2014 9:10 am
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Health, Humor, Mental, PhilosophyThey say Xanax is addictive but I’ve found that once you hit 10mg you can stave off the desire to make the dosage higher by simply taking more frequent 10mg dosages throughout the day. Addiction averted!
add a commentIt’s not OCD April 17, 2014 1:16 pm
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Health, Humor, Mental, PhilosophyIt’s not OCD. Waffles just taste better if every square has butter in it.
add a commentI live in a bubble February 20, 2014 9:19 am
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Humor, PhilosophyThis is a good reminder that I live in a different world than most people.
Deep Thoughts January 21, 2014 10:46 am
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Deep Thoughts, Humor, PhilosophyAlmonds are cool.
Until you being to imagine you are eating tiny cockroaches.
You might be a programmer January 18, 2014 9:50 am
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Humor, Philosophy, Programming, TechnologyYou might be a programmer if…
…you’ve ever sat at your desk, computer in one hand, pot of coffee in the other, and considered wearing an adult diaper.
