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Ah, what to do with 2020

The year 2019 concludes. As I look ahead, I see an interesting and busy year ahead. My daughter of 17.5 years will go off to college. I have a mere half a year to complete all the parental dreams I had for her. There will be a ton of work to do in scouting. I want to increase cash flow into the house which could mean a career change or placing more emphasis on my side work of freelancing or my personal websites. I’m toying with taking some classes at the University of Tennesee. And, of course, home improvements. I want all the home projects finished. I also want more family time. More travel.

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18 years after 9/11…a generation raised in fear

This morning I looked into the clear sky and noticed only a single contrail of one plane. That’s the closest I have seen the sky to plane free since 9/11 and 9/12 of 2001. The quiet of the world as everyone stayed home with their loved ones and no planes flew (technically one flew with an antivenom but I digress) was unsettling. No noise of trains, cars, trucks, planes, or helicopters. No squealing children in the streets or yards. It seemed as if even the animals took the days off. An eerie silence and calm reigned those two days. There was a peace hidden among the terror.

The goal of terrorism is to bring about societal change through violent means. We should have lived 9/12 as we lived 9/10. Instead, we reacted in fear. We have now raised a generation in fear. Kick a dog every day and what happens to that dog? Raise kids in fear, surrounded by cameras and security theater and ask if there is not a correlation to acts such as school shootings. As the generation who has never known a pre-9/11 United States joins the ranks of our lawyers, legislatures, and politicians, how will that fear be manifested in our laws and the impact upon our freedoms?

9/11 was horrific. I still feel the emotions of that day in my chest. It was on a level similar to the emotions that raced through me as I witnessed the Challenge disaster. I will never dishonor the valiant people who gave such sacrifice on that day and those which followed. I will always pay reverence to those lost in the attacks.

I will also never forget that our society was forever changed. The terrorists won.

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State of me

I used to really enjoy social media. Don’t get me wrong, I still do. I overshare often. Of course, what I share is not the complete me. It’s a little keyhole peek into my life. I want to return to more online publishing, podcasting, and video work.

I still hold a fulltime job. That takes much of my time. On top of that, I freelance when I can find work. My goal is to do enough freelance work to consider it a second fulltime job. Of course, I’m volunteering with a scout troop. That is practically a fulltime job at the moment. I would like to think that if we can double the size of the troop that the level of effort will actually drop. Sounds antithetical but a larger troop gives more adult volunteers to delegate work, work which right now I feel compelled to take on.

Let’s talk about the online publishing, podcasting, and video work. I keep putting it off because I don’t want to just ramble, I’d like to have a topic that genuinely interests people. This blog is a stream of consciousness dumping group so it will always be all over the board. My past podcasts were similar. But now, I’d like a bit more focus. But I’m a bit all over the board in my personal life. Perhaps the podcast could be interviewing people I encounter in my day to day life. The focus could be their stories. Hmmm. Time to ponder.

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From the mouths of babes

Me: “So, Noah, how’s it feel to be gainfully employed?”
Noah: “Pretty good!”
Me: “You know that Weigel’s card in your car you use to pay for your gas directly from your parent’s bank account? Let’s give that back to your mother.”
Noah: “Oh. Okay.”
Noah, complaining to older sister: “They made me give back the gas card.”
Older sister: “What?! They never paid for my gas!”

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I played chess with my son

Last night, as I prepared dinner, I asked my youngest (14) if he wanted to play a game of chess. He eagerly agreed and after finishing his battle on his computer game, set up the chess set on the table. We started playing. I made a move then prepped an ingredient for dinner. Made another move, prepped. After I stood up for the third time, my son said, “Dad, I’m going to go do my school work before it gets too late.” That hit me in the feels. Fortunately, dinner was ready to go into the oven for 30 minutes. I felt I was a few moves away from checkmating him so I said, “I’m about to end you. Let’s finish. This will be quick.” He perked up and I gave my undivided attention to him and the game. In the blink of an eye, the oven beeped. 30 minutes passed in the flash of an eye and the game had turned. Two terrible moves by me gave my son control of the board and he destroyed me. Then he returned to his room to either study or game or both. It was a great moment.

I wish I could turn the clock back 19 years and make every night like last night. I have allowed busy to replace bonds. Excuses to prevent experiences. I have great children. They have had good lives. I could have done so much better. With the time I have left, I will do so much better!