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Hump Day

My inner middle schooler likes the middle of the week. This time of year, the walk to my son’s bus stop is dark. Jupiter shines in the sky but clouds obscure other heavenly bodies. The muscadine grapes have ripened to perfection. I accidentally knock one to ground. Pity. The weather is beautiful yet a storm threatens. The distance rumble of clouds and chaos are apparent only to me for the storm that threatens is in my head. I fend it off by building a high pressure system of calm and positive thinking. The storm, a low pressure system, moves further into the distance; at bay, yet ever present, waiting for other systems to build. And Jupiter shines in the calm skies.

Jupiter

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Typical Monday

  1. Philips HUE lights fade on at 5:30 am.
  2. I curse the day
  3. Turn off Philips HUE lighting and reset light alarm for 5:55 am.
  4. 5:55am curse the day
  5. Let the dog(s) out
  6. Wake the kids
  7. Feed the cats
  8. Feed the kids
  9. Tell the kids, "Dad is going to get dressed" which they know means "Dad is going to sleep another 20 minutes."
  10. Wake up and curse the day
  11. Take one child to the bus stop
  12. Return home and make sure the other child goes to the bus stop
  13. Curse the day
  14. Drive to work
  15. Pass the elementary school and bemoan it’s transition from academic institution to penitentiary due to 9/11 fears (have commentary with self about the terrorists winning)
  16. Turn on NPR to hear more commentary about humans hating humans
  17. Drive to Starbucks and observe the escalation of the parking lot wars between Starbucks and Shell and let commentary run in head about how a cooperative approach could net them both more business but instead they are hurting each other because humans
  18. Curse myself for buying breakfast instead of making an economical breakfast at home and not bringing my lunch
  19. Drive toward work and mentally berate self
  20. Get to work exhausted and ponder why Monday’s suck
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Have you ever felt despair?

So I’m feeling a little down. Well, a lot down. Something uplifting for me is reading. So, I’m reading the Dresden Files. Jim Butcher’s first book in the series is Storm Front. I open to chapter 18 and read:

Have you ever felt despair? Absolute hopelessness? Have you ever stood in the darkness and known, deep in your heart, in your spirit, that it was never, ever going to get better?…

[Source, Storm Front (Dresden Files), Chapter 18]