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"Murphy was an optimist!"

From the mouths of babes January 20, 2010 8:14 am

Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Family, From the mouths of babes , 1 comment so far

Evan, 4.5 years old: "Dad. Can we buy a gold fish?"
Dad, thinking a gold fish is not difficult to care for: "I suppose. What made you want a gold fish?"
Evan: "I want to eat it."
Dad, realizing this isn’t about watching the wrong tv shows: "Oh! You want gold fish snacks."

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From the mouths of babes January 16, 2010 1:15 pm

Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Amy, Daily Life, Evan, Family, From the mouths of babes , add a comment

Amy, 7.5 years: "Evan’s got a bloody nose!"
Evan, 4.5 years: "Dad! My nose is bleeding!"
Evan: "Oh, it’s just a boogie."

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From the mouths of babes January 11, 2010 12:14 pm

Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Evan, Family, From the mouths of babes , add a comment

Evan, 4.5: "I want a baloney sandwich with no crust and cut in the shape of a triangle."

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From the mouths of babes December 19, 2009 11:00 am

Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Evan, Family, From the mouths of babes , add a comment

Evan has been reluctant to give up his pacifier, bop, at night. Last night he slept without it! Today he is a little crabby and just walked through the house with it so I bargained it away from him.

Dad: "Evan. I want you to say oral fixation.
Evan, 4.5 years old: "Oral fixation."
Dad: "Good. Now I want you to go tell Mom, ‘I have an oral fixation.’"
Evan, yelling through the house: "Mom! Dad has an oral fixation!"

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How ’bout them knockers? December 19, 2009 10:05 am

Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, From the mouths of babes , add a comment

We had the pleasure of actually getting out of the house recently and participating in, gasp, an adult party! No this wasn’t an Eyes Wide Shut thing. It just wasn’t at Chuckie Cheese and no one had to be reminded to go to the bathroom. This was the party with some very fascinating people. At one point, one of the guests had a moment of recognition and recalled working with Cathy.

What he said: "The last time I saw you, you were breastfeeding your youngest daughter." (read more)
What I heard: "I’ve seen your wife’s boobs! NiiiiIIICce!"

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From the mouths of babes December 17, 2009 7:37 am

Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Family, From the mouths of babes, Noah , add a comment

Dad: "Have a good day!"
Noah, walking to the door: "Will do."
Dad, noting that Noah is wearing a thin long sleeve shirt and no jacket: "Stay warm."
Noah: "I hope so."
Dad: "You do understand that staying warm has less to do with hope and more to do with attiring yourself appropriately in layers, right?"
Noah, continuing to walk to the bus stop: "Yup."

This feels familiar almost like an 8th grade winter ritual.

If you’re gonna to be dumb, you gotta be tough. [Source]

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From the mouths of babes December 11, 2009 11:24 am

Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Evan, Family, From the mouths of babes, Of Being Dad , add a comment

Evan, 4.5 years old seeing the food I just prepared: "Eggs!"
Me: "Do you want toast with your eggs?"
Evan: "Yeah!! What’s toast?"

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From the mouths of babes November 12, 2009 9:31 am

Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Evan, Family, From the mouths of babes , add a comment

Evan, 4 years old: "Dad listen. I sing Nam myo go."
Evan: "Nam-myoho-renge-kyo" (well..pretty close at least!)

He did this unprompted and out of the blue. I was quiet surprised. He also brought it up on Halloween: "I’m daddy. Nam-myoho-renge-kyo"

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From the mouths of babes November 10, 2009 7:32 pm

Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Family, From the mouths of babes, Tommy , add a comment

Tommy, 19: "I can’t find the snake."
Me: "What happened?"
Tommy: "He was on my lap. I fell asleep."

The snake is fine. It just had a good explore.

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From the mouths of babes November 10, 2009 10:26 am

Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Evan, Family, From the mouths of babes , add a comment

Evan, 4 years old: "I heard my stomach growl. That means I need some candy."

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From the mouths of babes October 21, 2009 6:49 pm

Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Amy, Cathy, Daily Life, Evan, Family, From the mouths of babes, Noah, Of Being Dad , 1 comment so far

I dropped the milk. The cap popped off and poured all over the floor.

Me: "DAMMIT!"
Evan, 4 years old: "Dad said dammit."
Mom: * gives Dad eyeballs *
Amy, 7 years old: "Moooom! Evan said dammit!"
Evan: "No, Dad said dammit."
Amy: "Don’t say dammit."
Noah, 13 years old: "Evan, don’t say that. It’s a dirty word."
Evan: "No! Dammit. Dammitdammitdammitdamitdamitdamitdamtdatmdaaaaammmmmmmit!"
Mom: covering her face in towels to hide her laughter.
Dad: hiding in the fridge unable to breath laughing.

Uncle already! I get the message. Mouth meet soap.

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From the mouths of babes October 19, 2009 9:10 am

Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Evan, Family, From the mouths of babes, Of Being Dad , add a comment

Moments after I posted Dad Fail, Evan walked up to me with a question.

Evan, 4 years old: "Dad, why do you always say…" He bent over at the waist at a 45 degree angle with his arms hanging straight down and in a deepened gruff voice, "crap crap crap crap crap crap crap…"

It just went on and on but in the end, it turned out he was repeating a noise from the Nintendo DS Mario game.

Please excuse the screwed up aspect ratio on the video but I did that in haste.

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From the mouths of babes October 14, 2009 5:43 pm

Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Amy, Cathy, Daily Life, Family, From the mouths of babes, Of Being Dad , add a comment

Amy, 7 years old: "I’m not going in my room because Sarah is asleep in there."
Me: "Sarah isn’t in the house."
Amy: "Then what’s that big lump in the bed?"
Me: "Personally, I wouldn’t call my mother a big lump."

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From the mouths of babes October 13, 2009 5:58 pm

Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Evan, Family, From the mouths of babes , add a comment

Evan, 4 years old, playing Wii, gleefully announces: "I’m Donkey Dong!"

Okay. I’ll concede there may be some speech therapy in his near future.

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From the mouths of babes October 12, 2009 5:21 pm

Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Evan, Family, From the mouths of babes, Of Being Dad , add a comment

Evan, 4 years old: "Dad, can you make me some chips?"
Me, noting that it is 5:20pm: "No."
Evan, softening voice, tilting head, and putting on droopy eyes: "Please make me some chips."
Me: "No, I’m working. You have to let me finish my work so that I can make dinner. NO no no."
Evan: "Okay. But please."
Me: "I’ll be right up. Just let me make this one blog post."

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