While raising boys is easier than girls, once the boys hit their midteens, starting your day without uttering the word "morons" becomes difficult. –Red
Author: Doug McCaughan
Father of 5.
Juggler.
Ticked off at blogger.com.
Of Being Dad
I grow tired of trying to get the children to "use an inside voice." So, I have decided to simply put on my headphones and play the music loud enough to deafen myself.
Family
"Family" is Latin for "never enough bathrooms."
Of Grasshoppers
Student: No one listens.
Master:
Back on the health kick
Today I took time to eat breakfast despite the overwhelming desire to rush out the door and just grab some food on the way. I also took time to make my lunch. While this encourages me eating at my desk, it is healthier, mentally more relaxing than fighting traffic and deciding where to eat, and saves money. Hopefully I can make this a trend.
Update: In a moment of weakness, I got some junk food. I opened the package and immediately thought, "that smells disgusting…let’s put it in my mouth." Then I threw it away.
Of Grasshoppers
Student: I just want to be happy.
Master: A flower just wants a little sunshine.
Of Grasshoppers
Student: I hate my life.
Master: Can you choose a different one ?
On parenting
If you are not a parent, you probably have never said, "I’m going to kill a child!" If you are a parent, you say this with regularity.
Well
Fug me.
The 7 Stages of Knoxville’s Lottery Win
Last night, someone in Knoxville won $259 million on the Powerball lottery! Here is what happened in Knoxville this morning:
- Shock or Disbelief: "No one in Knoxville ever wins!"
- Denial: "It has to be me. I won’t look at the ticket and when no one else claims it I’ll know I didn’t lose. Argh, I looked and my numbers didn’t match. I’ll put the ticket in my desk drawer and check again later. It’ll be the winning ticket then."
- Anger: "Why’d I look at the ticket! If I hadn’t looked, it would have been me! I hope the person who won loses their ticket."
- Bargaining: "If only I had bought two tickets. Then I would have won half. Since I didn’t win $259 million, I’ll buy two tickets Saturday and win $40 million."
- Guilt: "I really shouldn’t have hoped the winner loses their ticket. After all, I might know them."
- Depression: "My life will never be the same without that $259 million."
- Acceptance and Hope: "Statistically the odds were against anyone in Knoxville winning. The odds that I know the winner are much higher. I hope I know the winner!"
Passion
Stars have blossomed in the night sky
The last wafts of smoke rise into the purple
Framed by tall pines covering the horizons
The flames have subsided
A loud crack, snap, pops from a remaining log
In the ashen pit
A bright red glows within the coals
Oranges and yellows echo the memory of the recent fire
And emits warmth
A memory of the burning, passion
Stars vanish
One by one millions of years after they extinguish
Violently
The sky darkens
Stars disappear more quickly
Clouds blanket the purple turning the sky
First grey then black
Thunder claps and the first rain drop
Falls on the coals with a sizzle
Hot timber in the pit screams
An ember is splashed
It winces, darkening
Then resists, glowing more strongly
Water falls from the sky, faster
Pouring
The ember glances around
Seeing other embers doused
Forever
Fewer to support each other
Chilling
Yet the ember fights on
Striving to produce
Heat
But losing
The fight
The light
Gone.
Beneath a bed of ashes
So wet on the surface
Awaits an ember
Feeling the cold
Holding onto its own heat
In hopes to be discovered
Uncovered
Resurrected
To bring forth a fire.
Just say yes
Robotic cars now
http://www.interpretthis.org/2014/05/30/the-end-of-driving
