Evan, 3 years old: "Daddy, I wanna go bitchin’"
Dad, removing the pacifier from the child’s mouth: "What?"
Evan: "Daaa, I waaana go bitchin’"
Dad, sitting down to type From the mouths of babes.
Evan: "I WANNA go BIIIItchin’ Daa!"
Dad, continuing to type.
Evan: "Daddy. We need to go bitchin now."
Evan, soft, extra sweet voice: "Let me go bitchin."
Category: From the mouths of babes
Funny things kids (and sometimes adults) say. Somethings these make you say “Hmmm.”
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From the mouths of babes
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From the mouths of babes
Mom: "Evan, are you a boy or a girl?"
Evan, 3 years old: "uhnt, uh"
Dad: "Evan, are you a boy?"
Evan: "No!"
Mom: "Evan, are you a girl?"
Evan: "No!"
Dad: "Say, I have a penis."
Evan: "I know you have a penis!" -
From the mouths of babes
Evan, raiding my desk: "I found keys car Daddy."
Me, firmly: "Give me the car key!"
Evan, bolting for the stairs: "I need them!" -
From the mouths of babes
Conversations that before you were a parent you never imagined really happen and in hindsight can’t believe you had:
Dad, agitated: "Noah did you go to the bathroom downstairs when you got home from school?"
Noah, exasperated: "No."
Dad, perturbed: "Tommy did you poop downstairs?"
Tommy, annoyed: "NOoooo Daaad."
Dad, disbelieving: "Sarah, did you go to the bathroom downstairs?"
Sarah, sharply: "Nope!"
Dad, grasping at straws: "Amy did you use the potty downstairs?"
Amy, lying: "Nuh uh."
Dad, befuddled: "No one used the bathroom downstairs but there’s a giant poop in it?!" -
From the mouths of babes
Evan, 2 and 11/12ths: "I wanna go school Dada!"
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From the mouths of babes
Amy, almost 6 years old: "I didn’t know her. I got in her car because she told me to get in and I didn’t want to be rude."
AND
Amy: "I was on a road called North something."
Note: This is my 7000th post! I wanted to make it special and funny or have a contest or something. Instead I chose scary.
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From the mouths of babes
Evan, quickly approaching 3 but already an expert: "OOH peein" (that’s open to the uninitiated) *squint* *grin* "peeeas" (that’d be please)
I think, "Aw, he’s so cute." Then Evan hands me a box of 24 Durex condoms. That’s a whole 2 year supply!
Dad: "A little young for those aren’t you?"Of course, if you help contribute to the vasectomy fund , I can quit buying those things and think of ALL the oil that could be saved! The material itself, transportation, packaging, manufacturing equipment, and so forth. Snip me, save the planet! You know, if May 27 rolls around and we still only have a penny, I’m tempted to DIY this procedure while streaming it over ustream. I mean, how difficult could it be?
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From the mouths of babes
Evan, 2.5 years:"Dada, take upstairs me dada."
My son speaks in American sign language! I wonder if ASL sentence structure is simply a more natural way to speak. Perhaps all hearing people should talking American sign language.
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From the mouths of babes
Dad: "Amy, I like your ankle bracelet."
Amy, 5.5 years old: "It’s not really for your ankle, but I want to be like my sister." -
From the mouths of babes
Evan, 2.5 years: "Dada. My Amy. My Mamum. My Sarah. All gone."
Dad: "They’ve gone to a movie. We are having boys only at the house."
Evan: "I go find my mamum. My Amy. My Sarah." -
From the mouths of babes
Amy: "Dad, don’t you have a place where you work?"
Me: "I work in our basement."
Amy: "No, I mean like a place with lots of people."
Me: "I work by myself."
Amy: "Well, that’s how lots of people work. With lots of people." -
From the mouths of babes
Evan (2.5 years old): "I want Ma Mum!"
Dad: "Ma Mum’s sick."
Evan: "I want hug Ma Mum me." -
From the mouths of babes
Dad, puts on jacket and hat to go outside.
Amy: "You look like Phillips Dad."