Student: I have needs!
Master: You have commitments!
Category: Philosophy
Think deep.
The Best Quote I’ve Seen Today
AT is a riot! His Bonnaroo posts (and Rich’s) made me long for some live music.
Man, you people. I got sick of twitter before any of you started with it! [Source]
Of Grasshoppers
Student: I live in Catch-22.
Master: Perhaps you should try non-fiction.
Of Grasshoppers
Student: I keep making mistakes.
Master: Have you tried doing something different?
Of Grasshoppers
Student: I have failed my family.
Master: Are you going to quit?
Guys like bodily noises
…And guys like sexy women. So what do get when you combine the two? A Holly Valarse remix that’s a gas!
I can’t stop watching!
This made me laugh so hard today! I have watched it over and over and over. Tommy Chong! You’re my hero!
Jazz from Hell has some additional words and the original MSNBC interview with Contessa Brewer regarding Paris Hilton to put this in perspective.
Update: For those who have’t watched the original MSNBC interview, Colbert’s very direct question to Chong is mocking Brewer.
Two points!
Karma
Who have I wronged so badly?!
Of Grasshoppers
Student: What have I become?
Master: The sum of all your experiences.
A couple of HEHs
Well, this about describes me (via Jon). And Les just nailed it! (a must read!)
Btw, with apologies to The Blogfather, I despise HEH. It has bothered me since the first time I ever saw it used in a chatroom (which was probably IRC circa 1988). Dictionary.com gives it a definition of "a half laugh" but I have always read HEH as bemusement but almost a disrespectful, laugh of obligation like "ok, you made the effort to say it so I’ll make an effort to acknowledge you." The two links above deserve much more than a HEH!
Throwing in the towel
That’s right! I don’t want to work anymore. I just want to blog! That means my readers, all five of you, must each click my ad links about 1000 per day. Do that and I’ll be fine. Now hop to it!
Of Grasshoppers
Student: Can’t.
Master: Will.
The Funniest Thing Said and You Missed It!
Last night Jon Stewart brought it home. He nailed it for me last night. I laughed until I cried. It was so subtle. Did you catch it?
Paul Rudd, "I have a feeling that in the entire history of Comedy Central I’m the first person that’s ever said ‘pump out a Rene Auberjonois‘"
Jon Stewart, "There’s actually uh Carlos Mencia does it as a recurring bit."
Paul Rudd, "I knew I’d heard it before!"
So why’s it so funny? Read this exceptional article, Take the Funny and Run in full to really understand the joke. For those that don’t want to click over, here’s the brief:
Rogan, who refers to Mencia as "Carlos Menstealia," claims it’s common knowledge among his fellow funny men that Mencia takes bits from other comics and performs them as his own. [Source]
Anyone who has ever performed stand-up is familiar with the red light, the universal signal that warns dawdlers it’s time to wrap things up. In the ’80s, comics at the Hollywood Improv came up with a novel use for the light. When shining steadily, it had the conventional meaning. But if the bulb began sputtering, it was the comedic equivalent of an air-raid siren, warning performers to lock up their original material immediately unless they wanted to lose it to a master thief.
Robin Williams, comedy’s most notorious joke rustler, was in the house.
…the famed Comedy Store in Los Angeles has even instituted a Mencia early-detection signal similar to the Improv’s for Williams, though considerably less high-tech. "Every time he walks in, the guys in the cover booth just start yelling ‘Mencia’s here!’"
[Source]
The culprit is the people, not the state
Ray Bradbury wants it understood that when he wrote [Fahrenheit 451] he was far more concerned with the dulling effects of TV on people than he was on the silencing effect of a heavy-handed government. While television has in fact superseded reading for some, at least we can be grateful that firemen still put out fires instead of start them.
[Source]
