Student: Where does the healing begin?
Master: It’d be cliché to say from within; the healing must be without.
Year: 2007
Hiding under covers
Going to bed. See you in January.
Where is Doug? Nose Christmas!
Why do they always pick on Doug?!
I want a boyfriend!
Yes, I’ve decided I want a boyfriend. Man seeks man. That’s right. I want someone to spend long hours with me as my close companion. I want to get greasy with my boyfriend. I want to be rough. I want to share manly experiences! I think our first date should be spending a long day together outside. Specifically I think we should focus our time around the parked Jeep in the driveway. Wouldn’t it be exciting to take the engine off the motor mounts and ever so gingerly drop it down at a sexy angle which would allow us to bang the freeze plug back into the head? After we remount the engine and charge up the battery, we could re-lube the hubs on the trailer, pump the tires with air, then take a leisurely drive to Home Depot and purchase supplies to build a carport and shed which we would use to organize the driveway, arrange our tools, and clean out the garage in only a way that men know how. With the garage and driveway clean, and knowing our tools are properly hung, we could then proceed with getting muddy with the drywall. I can think of so many ways we could spend quality time together! Yes, I need a boyfriend!
Award Winning Blogging
I indirectly brought in Funniest Blog Post Derailment Trainwreck with The Regal Riviera opens this week! and we were recognized as The Family that Blogs Together Stays Together Award with recognition to Cathy, Tommy, Sarah, and myself (yes, Noah missed out being recognized on the award. He’ll have to post more frequently!). Thank you R Neal and all of Knoxviews! I’d also like to thank my producer and … and … where’s my writing staff?! Bloody strike!
Too cool for warmth
The morning jacket report:
The kindergartener had tears this morning because she is attired in these cute blue jean pants with a matching shirt and matching hoodie jacket. But it is frigid outside so she was required to layer her winter coat. Dad, having not put coffee in his body yet, did not have the sense to suggest she put the hoodie in her backpack and wear the winter coat to school then switch. So, she cried because she was wearing a shirt, a lightweight jacket, and a winter coat and just knew her classmates were going to laugh at her because she was wearing two coats! Innocence lost at 5 years old?! At 5 we worry about how others perceive us?! I thought at 5 we just lived to play?
Middle schooler. Umm.. He and I were caught up in trying to solve the Rubik’s cube (which was first marketed when I was in the 6th grade! How circular! My best time ever was 25 seconds in math class.) so I’m not sure if he was even wearing clothing.
High school freshman. 1) Next time she tells me she "didn’t have time to brush her teeth" she can just miss the school bus! 2) She wore her jacket! But pranced off to school in short pants… I would have forced the tooth brushing issue but was too embarrassed at the thought of dropping her off in carpool.
The high school senior made guttural noises at me when I demanded he pick his coat up off the ground. I told him to wear it and he grunted and walked out the door carrying it in his hand.
And yes, I remember been too cool for warmth. Doesn’t change the fact that I’d like to seem them dress appropriately.
Tipping is not a town in China
Tilt Shift Photography
I’ve been wanting to try out some tilt shift photography which is the art of using a tilted lens to blur the foreground and background giving the real picture the impression that it is actually a scale model. Unfortunately, building a tilted lens for Cathy’s camera is very low on my list of priorities. Luckily, I learned you can simulate the effect in photoshop! Pictured above is my first attempt. That’s Tommy on the STAR float in the Lenoir City Christmas parade.
Seeking recommendation for affiliate software
I need an open source or COTS package for generating affiliate websites including secure backend. A secure backend means that the affiliate can log in to manage their affiliate site. Suggestions?
The Boy With No Brain Meets Mr Freeze
It’s cold outside. I mean I can see my breath! Since the Boy Scouts are preparing for a winter camp we are talking about frost bite, hypothermia, layering and so forth. This past Monday, one of the adults experienced in winter camping came out in full cold weather attire and explained the importance of clothing, and layering clothing,to the scouts.
I need to start waking Amy earlier. Her morning tantrums over the wrong clothing being out made us miss the bus for a week. I think she is enjoying the carpool lobby but she also enjoyed the bus. After taking her to school this morning, I return in time to see the high schoolers making their way to the bus stop each wearing a thin shirt and for show they have their inadequate windbreakers on but not zipped declaring they are tool cool for warmth. It bugs me but they are old enough to both know better and to suffer the consequences. Then I catch the middle schooler shortcutting between two houses with no jacket at all! He just had the course Monday night on the importance of proper winter attire! On shout later and he is bee lining it back to the house. I catch him at the house for half a Reflection (that’s Boy Scoutese for socratic questioning) and half a lecture (I’m not real good at socratic questions). Then send him, wearing coat, running to the bus stop. I bet the coat does not come home.
Things you learn over coffee
I ran out of grounds again. Yes, pathetic. I indulged myself and stopped into the local convenient store for a cup of overpriced Joe only to learn that my neighbor, who wanted to go fight in Iraq, got denied by the National Reserves because 16 years ago, when he was 18, he purchased 5 ounces of marijuana from a police officer (which made his crime a double felony). The clerk chimed in that on her parent’s 60 acre farm, her brother used to grow pot by the barn and her mother never understood why no one mowed the grass by the barn. Her mother would pay her $10 to mow it; her brother would then pay her $20 to not mow it. So, indirectly, she was making a killing off of pot. She also had a good laugh when her child came home from school declaring she had learned that smoking pot will make you hallucinate (what are the schools teaching these kids! Oh right, Newspeak). I had to rant my belief that we will pay for an illegal war by 1) reducing government infrastructure costs (ie. release 800,000 prisoners), 2) increase gross national product via larger work force (ie. 800,000 new employees to the workforce), 3) increase income tax revenues (ie. 800,000 new employees with taxable income instead of using taxes to support them in prisons), and 4) sell a high demand product which is already in demand, all ready in a supply chain, all ready being manufactured and heavily tax it (ie. make marijuana legal). I’m not saying I support people running out and getting stoned off their butts; we are talking about a substance less harmful than beer. In my conspiracy mindedness, I’m documenting, that what you will see in the next 5 to 10 years, was predicted right here! My neighbor suggested I should run for congress. Somehow I don’t think I’d get far on the "Dude! Make it legal man." campaign.
In short, I bought a cup of coffee and learned that my neighbor and the store clerk toke it up.
