Month: October 2008
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From the mouths of babes
Dad, downstairs: "What is burning?"
Noah, upstairs: "Should I let the dogs out?" -
Brushing teeth must be fun!
The children really enjoy toothbrushes wit suction cups.Mobile post sent by djuggler using Utterli.
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Today’s satire (was The most absurd thing I have read today)
Update:
Blogger rule #34- Never post prior to coffee.
Blogger rule #35- Never post while multitasking.
Blogger rule #71- Never post if after skimming an article you are not sure if it was satire or serious.
Blogger rule #3- Never post when your gut feeling says you are making a mistake (drafts are a good thing)All that said, check out today’s satirical find at Patterico’s Pontifications. (after all, it was labeled humor as b-i-l points out) I misread it on my first pass. And my apologies to Jim Treacher and Patterico.
I try to read both sides so that I can understand the McCain supporters and to thoroughly appreciate all the issues. This statement is ridiculous:James F. Treacher, Professor of Media Studies at Noesutch University, notes: "If Obama isn’t an evil, racist, fascist hatemonger of hateful hatred, why hasn’t he conceded the election?" [Source, Patterico’s Pontifications, Obama Rallies Turn Ugly]What kind of logic is that? And coming from a university professor?! Btw, I think Patterico is stretching a bit in his Obama Rallies Turn Ugly.You could write that quote as a fill in the blank and it still wouldn’t make sense! "If McCain isn’t an evil…" "If Bush isn’t an evil…" "If James F Treacher isn’t an evil…" It just isn’t a logical statement particularly when the contest is so even yet polls are showing Obama slightly ahead. Maybe we should do away with elections and we the people could all contribute questions toward a standardized test. Whichever candidate scores highest on The People’s Test wins the office. -
Blogher Report
The girls are having a blast. They were treated to dinner at an expensive steakhouse, and my daughter ordered Mac and Cheese! If dumbfounded could take a solid form, it would look a lot like me right now. Big day for them tomorrow.
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The scream was like a banshee in pain
The house quieted. Evan declared, "Give me bop. I go bed now." And with a little reluctance, he put himself to sleep. Noah coaxed Amy to bed but she sprang back after he slipped out to read a book. In the meantime, I took the dogs outside and sat on the porch, shirtless to enjoy the cool evening air with no mosquitoes and chant. Shortly into chanting, the peaceful neighborhood with its waxing gibbous moon (96% full) being sung to by crickets erupted into a cacophony of barks and howls. I continued to chant and Dharma and Molly, my German Shepherds, sat silently alert. Then there was the shriek! Altogether to close! Thanks to our camping in the Okefenokee, I am quiet familiar with the sound of fighting raccoon and I do not want my dogs tangling with one of those. Chanting ends. I usher the dogs inside to find Amy having trouble sleeping so we go to her bed and chant together until she is calm enough to sleep. -
Oh, I forgot I wasn’t barefoot!
I picked up some Teva Mush flip flops yesterday for $6! They are so comfortable and light that I keep forgetting I have something under my feet. I wore my Birkenstocks until the cork rotted away and since then I’ve keep my toes covered. It feels good to have the toes free again! -
And the girls are gone!
Cathy and Sarah along with Missy took off this morning in a decked out Saturn Vue loaned to them by GM to attend BlogHer in Washington, DC. Today was also my deadline for getting my IRS paperwork straightened out before they begin levying bank accounts again. Despite my pleas for one more week, they wouldn’t budge. Fortunately since today is a Sunday and tomorrow is a federal holiday, I have until Tuesday to turn the papers in. For a variety of reasons from "I didn’t feel like it that year" to "Cathy’s name didn’t match the records at the Social Security Department," I had missing or rejected IRS tax returns from 2002, 2003, 2004, and 2006. This makes Uncle Sam not like you. And when Uncle Sam doesn’t like you, he takes away a bunch of your money in fees, interest, penalties, and brute force.
The paperwork is straightened out. Amy has been to a birthday party. Evan and Noah to the circus with the grandparents. Noah is nursing a migraine. Amy and Evan are playing. And I’m programming (think I’ll slip some dinner in somewhere).
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McCain Endorses Obama!
Not really but John McCain just scored some points in my book. Well handled John! Watching this video was like watching a character actor step out of character. I’m still voting for Obama but McCain showed some class.
"[Senator Obama] is a decent person and a person that you do not have to be scared about as President of the United States," he said, before adding: "If I didn’t think I would be one heck of a better president I wouldn’t be running." [Source, The Huffington Post, McCain Faces Backlash Over Rabid Crowds and Source, TalkingPointsMemo TV, McCain Tries to Tame Flames He Earlier Fanned (YouTube and Talking Points Memo site)]
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He called me shorty
I really did feel very small.Mobile post sent by djuggler using Utterli.
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The State of Arizona Poised to Secede
HCR 2034 introduced by Representatives Johnson, Cooley under the reference title of "abolish federal government; state sovereignty" says that when the United States declares martial law, Arizona is outta here!
when or if the President of the United States, the Congress of the United States or any other federal agent or agency declares the Constitution of the United States to be suspended or abolished, if the President or any other federal entity attempts to institute martial law or its equivalent without an official declaration in one or more of the states without the consent of that state or if any federal order attempts to make it unlawful for individual Americans to own firearms or to confiscate firearms, the State of Arizona, when joined by thirty-four of the other fifty states, declares as follows: that the states resume all state powers delegated by the Constitution of the United States and assume total sovereignty; that the states re-ratify and re-establish the present Constitution of the United States as the charter for the formation of a new federal government, to be followed by the election of a new Congress and President and the reorganization of a new judiciary, similarly following the precedent and procedures of the founding fathers; that individual members of the military return to their respective states and report to the Governor until a new President is elected; that each state assume a negotiated, prorated share of the national debt; that all land within the borders of a state belongs to the state until sold or ceded to the central government by the state’s Legislature and Governor; and that once thirty-five states have agreed to form a new government, each of the remaining fifteen be permitted to join the new confederation on application. [Source, Arizona State Legislature]
Please note that I could not find a copy of this in THOMAS.
Update: The document says it is from House of Representatives, Forty-fourth Legislature , Second Regular Session, 2000. That would be pre-9/11.
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Of Being Dad
This morning was cool…until I got up. Cathy swapped roles with me this morning and got the children ready for school. What a relaxing way to start the day! I allowed myself 20 extra minutes of sleep then calmly got dressed and went upstairs to lend a hand by making Amy’s lunch. We were right on time to make the bus but pushing it. I had a simple plan: Amy and I run to the van and get to the bus stop. I remind the air, "Don’t let Dharma out!" It has been raining and I don’t have time to clean her feet for a van ride and still be able to get Amy to school. Then Evan runs into the kitchen with sticky buns caked to his hands. I exclaim, "Go wash your hands" but he needs help and no one is moving his direction. Cathy and I simultaneously take him to the bathroom and wash his hands. Suddenly Evan is to be a passenger. I’m watching the clock tick knowing that we are at a coin flip on making the bus or not. We rush to the front door and it magically opens and Dharma shoots out. I lunge for her and miss and she lands paws in the mud then digs in to race to the van. I lose it. I engage chase and booming voice (sorry neighbors). Dharma does something new, and hides under the van. All I picture is a dog that now needs a bath on a day that I don’t need distractions. She won’t come out so I honk the horn (sorry neighbors), yell, toss some rocks, why am I still trying to make the bus, the neighbor returns from the bus stop, the children are out trying to help so I yell at them to go back inside, Sarah gets Dharma out, I smack the dog and drag her by the scruff of the neck back inside, children are crying, dog is scared, and everyone is mad at me.
How could this have gone differently? All I had to do was close the front door. Within 15 seconds, Dharma would have been scratching to come inside. We could have said something witty and laughed instead of cried. And who cares if we missed the bus. I want to be that perfect tv dad. Can I have take 2?
