There was a R.O.U.S. on the stoop this morning. She’s either been to the Fire Swamp or Oak Ridge. Apparently the massive amount of rain we are experiencing has made hunting mice easier for the cat.
Category: Of Being Dad
Fatherly posts.
From the mouths of babes
Amy went to the hardware store as my assistant.
Me: "Let’s get back home and do some plumbing!"
Amy, 7 year old wise beyond her years: "It’d be easier to hire a plumber."
From the mouths of babes
One of neighbors is named Betty. The children address her as Mrs. Betty. Recently Evan started calling her Mrs. Betsy. I would correct him placing emphasis on the second T.
Evan, 4 years old: "Mrs. Bet see."
Me: "Say Bet-T"
This Betsy-Betty back and forth has gone on for weeks. So Evan has taken to really adding pause and emphasis to the second part of her name "Mrs. Bet TEA." Today I understand why.
Evan: "Noah won’t take me to Mrs. Bet Tea’s house."
Noah, 13 years old: "Evan, it’s Bet SEE."
Me: "No Noah. It’s Betty. Bet TEA."
Noah: "Oh."
The boys leave to visit with our neighbor and I chuckle having one more mystery in my life solved. They promptly return.
Evan: "Noah still won’t take me to Mrs. Bet TEA’s house."
Noah: "Mrs. Bet SEE isn’t home."
Summer is officially over
I had my first carpool to school today. School officially starts on Monday with a half day. But today the high schooler had class pictures. She and her best friend are on the outs because of a boy. Isn’t that always the reason? So it appears that I’ll be driving to the high school everyday. (Actually a friend of ours works at the school and has offered to do some carpooling.) Today was a dry run.
School Costs How Much?!
Ooops. I screwed up the paperwork. The financial aid office has explained that we have to pay 100% out of pocket for my son’s Fall college…on Tuesday.
I’ve explained it to the younger children like this: "Since your brother is going to college, we are going to be eating Ramen…lots of Ramen!"
From the mouths of babes
I hugged the wife then Evan, the 4 year old, ran to us with arms stretched wide and exclaimed, "group hug!" Where’s he get this stuff?
The soil 3 feet from my stoop
An hour ago, stepping out my front door included having your ankles swarmed by 100 mosquitoes, a dead bird, and enough landmines to give a Vietnam vet flashbacks. I relented. Determined to rid myself of the mosquitoes I pondered ripping out the entire front porch. Instead I looked under it. A dog toy in the shape of a tire..holding water. 5 planters holding dirt and water..no plants. Some plastic cups..lazy children. Toys and trash.
One can of back yard fogger later, the mosquitoes have cleared out enough for me to work. Under the porch is now clear. And the bird is buried with enough dog and cat manure that I’m sure we’ll grow a new one quickly. I’m know it will grow. The ground seems fertile. My 7 year old girl found the remains of a potato filled with airsoft pellets hanging from the branch of a tree. It had a couple of sprouts so she took the target and buried it 3 feet from the stoop. We now have a healthy looking potato garden standing about a foot high. Imagine the convenience! Two steps to dinner!
School Days School Days Good Ol’ Golden Rule Days
The count is 7. Yes, seven days until school starts. That means early mornings, school fees and bedtimes. This week is practice. The children will find themselves with much earlier sleeping schedules starting tonight. Sure would help if it was actually dark outside.
Filed Under: Things I Never Expected To Do
I just rubbed a half a tube of Neosporin onto one of my dogs because the other dog won’t quit licking her wounds. Next step: petroleum jelly and if that fails, the Collar of Shame!
Today’s Kill
What kind of babysitting is this?
Cathy is touring the high schools, the older boys are out of the state, the 7 year old socialite is at a friend’s house, and I’m downstairs trying to work which leaves the teenage girl babysitting the 4 year old boy. So why is the bathtub running? I dread going upstairs to see what mess they are recovering from but I must know!
And we’re off…
Cathy is out getting to tour all the area high schools with the respective principals. Today she has appointments to tour Karns High School and Bearden High School. We’ve sent the older two boys to Indiana to paint their uncle’s house. The two little ones are playing while the sleeping teenage girl babysits. I need a day at my computer without distraction. Perhaps it is time to wake the teen. If you don’t see another post on Reality Me, she ate me.
From the mouths of babes
Me: "Evan, watch me pull my finger off."
Evan, 4 years old: "Do it again and pass it to me. You got to break it off and put it in my hand."
Me: "Wise acre."
Today’s Status Report
Today is far from over but I feel a status report is in order. My wife had important meetings today that would keep her out of the house most of the day and early evening so I’m in charge. She left, two neighborhood children joined our horde, and I attempted to meet my goals. Of course, the older two children were off doing their own things all day so I had no true backup. My goals were simple: write a business proposal in the morning and walk a client through the changes I’d made to their application in the afternoon; if time permits, prospect for more work.
We had no causalities on my watch, but the collateral damage is awesome! Only one dog was so muddy that she needed a bath. Only one child needed a midday bath. We had only 1 temper tantrum and associated bout of tears, otherwise a happy day. There was lots of laughs and much bouncing on the trampoline. I realized that my yard needs to become a much higher priority. I failed to get the proposal done. The chat with the client went well but didn’t end with the "all done" that I’d hoped. I did, however, get some long overdue to do items off my list, such as ordering the dogs’ flea preventative, and that felt great! Now I need to cook dinner and see if I can begin digging our house out of the rubble.
From the mouths of babes
Looking down at the trampoline I see one child drawn and quartered by four other children. They waddle to the edge of the trampoline and start rocking the captive child back and forth as if to throw her from the trampoline to the ground. Then they release sending the captive nearly to the other side of the trampoline with a flop.
Me, opening the window and softly calling down into the valley: "Hey Noah! Do me a favor and make sure we don’t go to the hospital. I don’t have time for that today."
Earlier it was:
Me: "Evan. We have guests. They don’t want to see your penis."
You know.. there should be a book they give to new parents titled, "these are the ridiculous things you will say" with a list of the absurdities you will utter. I’ve said them all!
