I love state fairs. I still remember my first state fair in the way back in North Carolina. I think that’s where I was introduced to my first foot long hot dog and on another occasion a corn dog. For the past 5 years or so, every time the Tennessee Valley Fair was here and my family was going, I was either in Los Angeles or just too consumed with deadlines to join them. This is crunch week on a project that must show great results. Tonight is the night the grandparents wanted to take the kids to the fair. I just had to say no. The funny thing is the decibel level in our house runs so consistently high that until you are alone in the house, it is hard to appreciate just how noisy we are. My ears feel like they are filled with cotton. This is almost too quiet to work!
Category: Of Being Dad
Fatherly posts.
Oops
Lost my temper with the twelve year old because he acted like a 12 year old boy. No! Not that. He was supposed to be watching the little ones while I did some programming and worked on the plumbing but he got drawn into his Playstation2, the one I told him not to play. I demonstrated anger, made 2 children cry, and now everyone (mostly Mom) is justifiably mad at me. Sometimes I wish I could roll the clock back just a few minutes and have a little do-over. Hugs, humility and apologies went all around. Tears were brushed away. But the damage is done. Self-flagellation ahead.
Lessons of the night
In my plumbing exploits, which really should be documented on video, I’ve learned the following:
- Brass fittings strip easily.
- No matter how sure footed you think you are, when doing the splits between the top of a bar stool and a two by four bracing the hallway drywall suspended over a stack of paint cans and a mop bucket, applying torque to a monkey wrench that is above your head will cause you to fall down.
- Swinging a two foot steel bar with your left hand against a drop forged pipe wrench (often mistaken for a monkey wrench) being held with your right hand is a mistake if you are not left handed.
Last time I did this, this plug came out much easier. Surely I’m doing something wrong.
Evening is upon us – Football!
Bearden High School has a home game tonight. Sarah will be demonstrating her excellence. Last year we discovered it was neither cost effective or prudent to take the whole family so Cathy and I take turns going to the games to support the teamflags. Alright, usually Cathy goes. So tonight’s evening chaos is brought to you by Liquid Plumber, The BHS Band Boosters, McDonald’s, and the RedCross babysitting training. Participants in tonight’s chaos are Amy, Evan, Noah, and Dad. Absence from this evenings show is Tommy who stayed at the college to chill with his hommies, Sarah who when not flirting with Zak is spinning flags on the field, and Mom who is taking pictures of Sarah flirting with Zak. Mom shoves down a McDonald’s cheese burger and is out the door leaving Noah instructions to get the trash out of the kitchen then help Dad with Amy and Evan. Amy is told to help Dad with Evan. Mom leaves. Noah goes to the back of the house and plays video games. Dad blinks at the trash. Amy and Evan erupted into loudness contests. Dad tries to figure out how to divide time between refereeing Amy and Evan, working on the tub, and coding web applications. It’s quiet upstairs… too quiet…
From the mouths of babes
Dad, to the ice cream truck driver: "You’re like a cat. I feed you and you keep coming back."
Ice cream dude: *blink* *blink*
File under things not to say.
Plumbing Update
Screw it. My family can hike through the prairie and bathe in the stream.
Milestone Rewards
How do you encourage yourself to reach a milestone? I know smoking programmers who give themselves a smoke break (7-15 minutes) when they accomplish a task. I don’t smoke, so I do a chore that doesn’t involve the computer. Today’s milestone breaks are brought to you by "Crack Plumbers, we’re just cheeky!" After Sarah did an art project involving rocks and the bathtub, our drain slower terribly. Now its stopped completely. This could be a coincidence. We have enough longhairs in this household to clog the public waste system so periodically I have to open the drain and pull out the alien creature that grows in there. It will be about 4 feet long, black, sluggy, and psuedo-intelligent. The most frightful thing I ever saw as a child was a Twilight Zone episode that involved a housewife vacuuming a dust ball out of her air ducts that turned out to be an alien creature that ate her. Since then I have never been fond of dust bunnies, air ducts, or alien looking snake-like gooey lengths of beyond description filth. However, I do want to bathe today…
So I just accomplished a very big deal on my current project involving combining functionality of two different parts of the application into a single page. It also involved altering the roles based security. Implementing roles based security on custom apps can be a time consuming pain in the neck. But fun! Time for my 7-15 minute break. Here creature creature!
Update: Pipes-1; Doug-0. Expect @cathymccaughan to report on my highly anticipated trip the emergency room during my next milestone break.
Update: Pipes-2; Doug-0. Done until Saturday.
Our Life
Between coughing up my lungs today, I have been hard at programming on a project. I have some neat things happening but they never seem to happen quickly enough. I took only one break today to return something I borrowed longer than I should have. I am close on my code but it always seems like I need just another half an hour when our evening chaos erupts. This evening’s chaos was complicated by the high school parent night.
What is evening chaos? It starts when a child says he needs the mouse I stole from his computer so he can do his homework. Then Mom dashes out the door explaining the homework Amy has to do after the kids finish cleaning the kitchen table. That’s the table with 3 inches of soapy foam on it and a perplexed middle schooler asking, "uh. How do I clean that up?" Still he manages to leave the table a sticky mess. Evan, who is getting closer to being housebroken, pees on the floor in the girls room. I’m on the phone with the bank trying to get them to fax me a letter that they say they can’t mail to me for 10 days due to federal law. I need it Monday but preferably tomorrow. Dinner has to be made. Go downstairs and sharpen a pencil. Hear Amy and Evan start to fight. Cathy texts to tell me she is going to park illegally. I call to give her a hard time but get voicemail so I text her my approval and then she calls. Evan is screaming just because he has lungs that aren’t filled with gunk. Evan wants to help with Amy’s homework. Oh dinner. Noah has a question on his homework. Code? Sharpen pencil again. And… that’s just the beginning.
Mock Shepherd’s Pie
Last night I made a mock shepherd’s pie. Basically, brown a pound of ground beef, add in some drained green beans and a can of tomato soup. Grease a 2 quart casserole and put this mixture into it. Then spoon mashed potatoes over the mixture and bake uncovered for 30 minutes at 350°.
I made my mashed potatoes by hand last night. That was the first time in my life I had cooked mashed potatoes that weren’t instant and I have to say it was easy! And I think the results were quite tasty.
A rule with children: Never mix food. Shepherd’s pie breaks this rule so naturally then only people partaking of it are the adults. This would make a nice dish for a potluck.
From the mouths of babes
Evan, bouncing: "Wake up. Go sleep. Wake up. Go sleep. Wake up!"
Dad: "Yes. Go to sleep and we’ll wake up in the morning."
Evan, with a gasp and loud: "Ah! THANK YOU Da!"
From the mouths of babes
I decided to teach Amy the Daimoku today and it is wonderful to chant together with her. At bedtime, I asked her if we could do it again and she wanted to chant then read a book. We repeat the Daimoku 3 times. What does Nam-myoho-renge-kyo mean?
Nam-myoho-renge-kyo is the Buddhist prayer that means I dedicate my life to bringing out the very best in myself and in all people. [Source, Jason Jarrett of A Buddhist Podcast, A Buddhist Podcast – Bodhisattvas of the Earth, 24:17-26:12]
Dad and Amy (6 years old), repeating 3 times: "Nam Myoho Renge Kyo"
Sarah (15 years old) with shocked look on her face: "You’re brainwashing her!"
Dear Sarah:
Buddhism is about revitalizing humanity, and transforming the world we live in from one dominated by greed, anger, and stupidity into one of peace and happiness. [Source, Jason Jarrett of A Buddhist Podcast, A Buddhist Podcast – Bodhisattvas of the Earth, 2:46-2:58]
From the mouths of babes
How do you fit 7 people into a 2000 square foot house? Some people double up on bedrooms. Amy and Sarah share a room. And Evan shares a room with Mom and Dad. For convenience, he is still in crib because it confines him forcing sleep but I anticipate that ending soon.
Evan, 3 years old, bolts upright in his crib: "Thank you Daddy! Thank you! Thank you Daddy!"
I was afraid to roll over and make eye contact because I didn’t want him coming to complete wakefulness. Playtime at 1am is not a good thing. Cathy was watching and said he was sitting up with eyes open but was fully asleep. He couldn’t have touched my heart more! I love that boy! After his thank yous, he laid down and fell into a deep sleep.
This morning-
Dad: "Let’s get ready for school."
Evan:"Hurray! School!" but school probably sounds more like schual.
Evan, out of the blue: "Daddy, Got milk?"
Evan is now pushing my buttons as he refuses to get dressed and has declared he is not going to school. Monday, monday.
180! Evan is wearing a backpack, dressed, and declaring, "Dad, I am ready to go. Ready to go."
My Sunday – a week at the University
I woke up this morning before everyone else and promptly began programming. As the morning wore on, Tommy’s departure time to return to school neared. His grandparents and Noah were to take him back to the University. Granny has not seen the campus and Noah was under the impression that it looked a lot like Hogwarts. I found a round tuit and decided to look at Tommy’s laptop which I’d been ignoring for work. LMU has 3 websites the students are required to use; a web-based email client (no pop3 or imap enabled on the exchange server which bites so I have been unable to setup GMail to check the Outlook Webmail), a blackboard (basically a portal by which professors can communicate with the students by posting assignments, slides, links, documents, etc), and a webadvisor (effectively a forum for the students to communicate as well as listings of groups, activities, etc on campus). The fourth website is a public calendar announcing events, activity schedule, and so forth. Tommy had looked at none of these. He had administrative e-mail a week old. He an assignment from a professor being ignored. And to top if off, I counted 30 hours of Internet gaming! Basically, if he wasn’t in class, he was playing games on the Internet. Two nights the gaming did not stop until 12:30am. I was beyond angry!
Now, in Tommy’s defense, this was first week of school, first week of not being under mommy and daddy’s thumb, first week of true independence. I am sure that many freshman behave this way. Also, Tommy has to figure out how to take in this new world which is overwhelming to him and a safe haven is his gaming. I simply fear Tommy falling behind and not being able to catch up.
So after a couple of hours of yelling, tears, and lectures, to which I am certain Tommy turned a deaf early early on, I installed some software to track his usage of ALL software, not just the Internet. (Thanks Tim!) I started to do some tricks to redirect certain gaming sites to education sites but really could not afford the time away from work so Tommy and I came to an agreement. At first the agreement was that the laptop would not go back to the University until he showed some seriousness about his studies; however, the laptop is a requirement of the university. We laid out some pretty clear expectations for Tommy and he is being given another chance. If he messes up, I will be severally crippling that laptop. Cathy will be spending this week on the phone with Tommy. I believe we also need to consider some serious NASA level check lists for Tommy. 1) Open eyes 2) Yawn (note: if yawn does not come from mouth, you could still be asleep, return to step 1) 3) Scratch 4) Sit up…
Of Grasshoppers
Student: It is so difficult to not yell when my blood is boiling.
Master: It is so difficult to listen while you are screaming.
Bad Dad
I have turned chores such as cleaning rooms into them against me. There is no pleasure in the task for anyone. My blood pressure soars and their tears flow. I think it is time for a new paradigm in this household. Chores will no longer we done alone. Dad will be your partner and we will have fun with the mundane.
