Category: Daily Life

Ramblings, often stream of conscious, journaling the events of my life.

Posted on by — 7 Comments

How to mobilize a family of 7! (with one vehicle)

Briefing

All family members notified that Tommy has to be in Lenoir City from 6pm to 7pm (that’s a 30 minute drive one way from the house) and Noah has to be at a scout meeting from 6pm to 8pm (5 minutes from house). Some people will eat at IHOP.

Logistics

We have only one working car. Plans made with scout leader to allow Noah to be dropped at his house at 5:20.

Troop Commitments

All family members will be going.

Readiness

Troops to be dressed with clean faces and wearing coats. Reminders are shouted through the house. Noah gets scout supplies. Tommy gets attired for horse riding. Sarah helps Amy. Mom and Dad tag team a messy diaper change on Evan. The older children try to forget their coats or replace appropriate winter coats with light wind breakers. (other techniques include the "I have my coat but I am carrying it instead of wearing it" loophole) Inspections are had as Dad paces with the clock ticking over time.

Transportation

Loading occurs in shifts to avoid blockages. Noah and Amy are sent first followed by Sarah with instructions to load and buckle Evan. Tommy, often the straggler, is ushered toward the van. Mom and Dad "dog proof" the house removing temptations, such as the kitchen garbage can, from reach of Molly. Dad heads to the car to find Tommy in dispute with Noah over the all important, favored seat because we all know that the other 6 seats suck and the rear seat on the right side of the van is far more comfortable than all the rest. General rule is first to the car gets the choice seat but this makes it difficult for the other two rear seats to be filled–kinda like taking the aisle seat at the movie theatre before the middle seats are filled–so fights always ensue. Sarah cannot sit in the middle seat of the back row because that would squeeze her between her brothers and she must have minimal interaction with her brothers otherwise she might have to acknowledge their existence. Dad nips this in the bud explaining Noah will be first out and Tommy knows he will shortly have the Holy Grail of Butt Cushions. We leave the house at 5:30 to make the first drop-off at 5:20.

Deployments

5:35, fifteen minutes behind schedule, Noah is deployed to the scout leader’s house with prayers that he will mind himself for the next 2.5 hours. With 20 minutes left to make the 30 minute drive to Lenior City, Dad makes mild exceptions to the traffic laws to buy a little time. Passengers are in good spirits. 6:03 Tommy is deployed to STAR for his riding lesson and I explain that I will have my noisy distractions just a phone call and few miles down the road. Dad is talking and misses turn to the interstate so the drive to IHOP takes a bit longer than anticipated. 6:18 Mom, Dad, Sarah, Amy and Evan deploy for nourishment.

Refueling

Meals are ordered in haste. Evan quickly decides that tonight is not a night to sit calmly in the high chair and instead bounces around in Dad’s lap. Dad crams food into his mouth at a competitive rate. Sarah plays with Evan and holds him to give Dad a chance to chow.

Withdrawal

6:50. Dad and Evan roll out for the 15 minute drive to retrieve Tommy at 7:00 leaving Mom, Sarah and Amy to eat the most peaceful meal they have had in ages. At this point my family is scattered in four disparate locations across two counties. 7:05 we approach a very dark barn and a sense of foreboding swells in my chest. I arrive to what appears to be a class running late and just preparing to enter the arena and my mind reels to replan for the 30-45 minute delay but a confused teacher explains that they have just come in and are putting the horses and tack up. I am relieved neither late nor having to make major adjustments in the schedule. Tommy, Evan and Dad head toward IHOP with text messages flying back and forth between phones. The girls are debating walking a half a mile to Target. Tommy tries to sneak a to-go order of pancakes but his phone call is too late; the bill has already been paid and the schedule too tight. The girls remain in wait at IHOP. 7:25 We slow the van and they load ala Little Miss Sunshine. We arrive to pickup Noah with Evan and I bolting from the van as the pack meeting closes spending 10 minutes to discuss leadership matters for the upcoming meetings. The scouts play with Noah’s toy brother until Dad is done. "Does he speak?" "Does he understand what I say?" "Will he do what I ask?"

Debriefing/Reassignments

As we approach the house, bathing orders are given and lights out times assigned. Confirmations of completed homework and signed notes. Requests for schedule amendments to the next day’s schedule are called.

Reprovisioning

Tommy remains in the van. He and Dad run to McDonald’s to get dinners for Noah and Tommy and apple pies for everyone. 8:35 Tommy and Noah are fed. Clothing is laid out for tomorrow. Mouths and bodies are cleaned and jammied. Books are read. Some computer time is had and the lights twinkle out at the appropriate time for each child. Tomorrow will have a similar script.

Posted on by — 13 Comments

Are clothes lines passe?

Yup. The dryer has died a horrible death. It would seem the heating element has gone out. That means we have two dryers in the basement without a means to dry clothes. The quandary! Do I repair one dryer, two dryers, or no dryers? I could get environmentally sound and setup a clothes line behind the house. I think perhaps I’ll do some shopping today. Considering the dryer is over 10 years old and runs almost 24/7 I think it has served its time.

Update: The heating element will be available for $57.06 tomorrow but Dave’s Repair suggests that I am skipping a couple of troubleshooting steps. It could simply be that our dryer vent is blocked (anyone thinking squirrel?) or that our circuit isn’t providing 240V. Hehehe! Whar’s my meter?! The parts supply store also explained that a new dryer isn’t likely to be that much more energy efficient that the efficiency comes from how well it heats.

Posted on by — 2 Comments

What’s the hardest thing about working from home?

It’s the stigma! This post inspired by the implication that our family could do something another family could not do because "they have a job."

I get an overwhelmingly large number people that either directly or subtly imply that I "don’t have a job" which is really very wrong. I have a job. I don’t have benefits. I have cash flow issues because I do not get paid until the job is complete and I tend to underbid my work. My job is very demanding. For instance, I have 3 projects going right now. One is a 3-5 week project (that means working a minimum of 40 hours per week for the next 3 to 5 weeks). That’s a job! One of the other projects probably has 40 hours in it. That’s a job! The 3rd project is at its tail end but back and forth with the client will consume another week and then we enter the next phase of that project. That’s a job!

I will work days, nights and weekends to see these jobs done well. I do not take vacations but because I work odd hours I do sometimes take time in the day for the family. However, that does not mean that time is always available. My other jobs include sales and marketing, customer relations and tech support, accounts receivable and payable as well as other accounting duties, and information technologies (to support myself). Additionally, I have started entertaining switching to corporate work and interviewing, social networking, and job searching itself can be a 40+ hour job unless you are willing to take the first thing that comes along.

My wife has a job! She is raising 5 children. She has meetings at schools, reports, grievances, paperwork, cleaning, cooking, emails, phone calls and more. Her job has no hours because if she is awake, she’s working! That’s a job!

NEW YORK (Reuters) – A full-time stay-at-home mother would earn $134,121 a year if paid for all her work, an amount similar to a top U.S. ad executive, a marketing director or a judge, according to a study released Wednesday. [Source]

I can’t do my wife’s job. I tried. When she is sick I try to do her job but the house looks terrible, the laundry does not get done, the children do not get cleaned well, and I can’t match a child’s outfit to save my life among many other things. When she is not around, I watch the children and try to work but mostly I watch the children. I really respect AT and other single parents. They work much harder than the rest of us.

Working remotely with so many different people has really shown me that there is a future in getting people away from corporate offices. I think in the next 10-15 years we will see a great trend in encouraging people to create home offices and work from their houses (at least part of the week). [Source] [see also]

Just because someone works from home does not mean they are playing, goofing off, not working, under no obligation, or don’t hold office hours.

Posted on by — Leave a comment

Daddy’s a traitor

And Evan is a manipulator! So he’s tired. He needs a nap. I take him down to the crib and he leans his head forward, turns in slightly, and lays calmly and gently on my chest with his head tucked under my chin. "Protect me Daddy! Don’t abandon me!" I rock him. Give him a pacifier. Then callously place him in the crib, zip up the crib tent, and walk away with my heart broken.

Posted on by — 15 Comments

Monday is a holiday – How do you abbr it?

So, my son quips that Monday is "Martin King Luther Day" but before I can correct him it becomes evident that he is making fun of our dry erase calendar by the front door that is clearly marked "MKL." So when I wake the teen girl I ask for an explanation. She says, "I know it is Martin Luther King Day but Granny told me you abbreviate it MKL and that’s how it is written on our church bulletin."

For a little over a decade I threw a party the Saturday of Martin Luther King’s birthday never thinking that it could be construed as of a bunch white boys debaucherously celebrating the death of a black civil rights leader. It was just an excuse for a handful of friends to get loopy. It just happened to be a 3 day weekend for most people and an easy date to remember. These defunct parties are a huge source of contention between Cathy and I so I will say no more other than we always referred to the holiday as MLK weekend when not directly calling it The Long Island Tea Party aka The LIT.

Time to do some searching. Hmmm. It appears that the City of Bettendorf Indiana does indeed respect MKL day (as seen in the <title> of their press release). Ah! Looks like Stacy is looking for some ski buddies for MKL day. She’s got some decent slopes (Keystone and Copper). Raw Dogma references MKL Day as its source but does not actually link to the source or make the source findable in anyway. The Asbury Seminary will not hold classes on MKL Day. Oh no! Am I detecting a trend between "church bulletins" and seminary’s slighting Martin Luther King by intentionally getting his initials wrong? Surely not! Buckman Arts Magnet Elementary School is also closed for MKL Day. And Psychology 2606 at the University of Colorado at Boulder is closing for MKL Day.

In 1983, the 98th Congress passed Public Law 98-144 to honor the birthday of Martin Luther King, Jr. This was first celebrated as a Federal legal holiday on January 20, 1986 and has been observed on the third Monday of January since that time. Congress’ intention was that the holiday “serve as a time for Americans to reflect on the principles of racial equality and nonviolent social change espoused by Martin Luther King, Jr.” (36 USC, Section 169j). [Source]

Conclusion: my hypothesis is that people have made a typo abbreviating Martin Luther King, Jr’s name as MKL instead of MLK. Because this has made it into church bulletins and references that people respect without question, some people have accepted MKL as the abbreviation. My conspiracy theory above was a joke. I don’t really believe there is an underground racist movement to disrespect the holiday, or the man, by intentionally getting his initials wrong. I could not find anything that definitely abbreviated the holiday as either MKL or MLK. Perhaps there is a conflict in the abbreviation MLK and indeed MKL could be the "official" abbreviation (but I doubt it).

Our world has changed dramatically in the past 50 years. It wasn’t that long ago (1877 to mid 1960s) that people of different race ate in different sections of restaurants, used separate bathrooms, and even had separate water fountains. There are racial inequalities that still exist and social reform that still needs to happen. I think some of our current political leaders would like to see social reform go backwards (maybe not racially speaking but ideologically speaking). I think our near future holds revolutions to be had in economic injustices, educational reforms, and other non-racial issues. So is this just another 3 day weekend for you? Or will you take "time … to reflect on the principles of racial equality and nonviolent social change espoused by Martin Luther King, Jr.?"

Posted on by — 2 Comments

Your Happy Meal Just Got More Expensive

Minimum wage has been increased from $5.85 to $7.25!

The vote was 315-116, with more than 80 Republicans joining Democrats to pass it.

The bill would raise the wage floor in three steps. It would go to $5.85 an hour 60 days after signed into law by the president, to $6.55 a year later and to $7.25 a year after that.

[Source]

That means someone working a minimum wage job for 40 hours will get $290 instead of $234 or a week’s worth of work. Of course federal and state taxes must be removed as well as social security and medicare.

Do you remember your first minimum wage job? I think mine was $2.35 an hour. I seem to also remember a $2.85 per hour figure. One of my early jobs paid $3 per hour under the table and I remember being thrilled with it because it was over minimum wage.

Jobs I did prior to college included baby sitting and yard work of course. I also worked for a construction guy. He would have his high cost labor just leave debris all over the job site and then on the weekends I would come in and move trash to the dumpster. He (Steve Garvy) would also pay me for odd jobs like once he paid $85 for me to take a machette to a quarter acre of over grown land. The weeds were 12 feet tall. I washed buses (the small shuttles although there was one about 3 feet shy of a city bus). Too young to drive, my friend and I drove them anyway. Our duties expanded to include maintenance including repairing a defective car phone (yes it was wired in), checking fluids, and changing tires (yes, I bent the frame on a bus with the jack). I also slid one sideways in a snowy parking lot for fun. I worked at a Wendy’s for 2 months. I also worked at a K-Mart as a cashier, cashier supervisor, toys department, electronics department, floor supervisor, and night stockman (nothing more fun than playing dodgeball in a Kmart at 2am!). My favorite pre-college job was selling flowers outside of an Amish market in New Jersey.

Posted on by — 2 Comments

Dad’s a bad guy

So I look out the window and I see Tommy standing up in his seat, laughing manically, and swatting at another child. At least that is what I thought I saw. So, to nip things in the bud, I react and rush the bus denouncing their childish behavior and explaining that the bus driver can’t drive the bus safely with them acting as such. So the kids think Tommy’s dad is nuts. Tommy is confused. Mom is angry and I just don’t like myself much. So much for trying to do the right thing. The tv dads make this parenting thing seem so much easier.

Yes, I did call the bus driver and she explained that the kids were just chatting energetically and that the bus has been more peaceful of late. She extended my apology to the children. Mmmmmm. Crow.

The wife has thrown dirty diapers at me. I guess that means I am on the path to being forgiven.

Posted on by — 11 Comments

A taste of poverty

Update Oct 29, 2008: The Federal poverty levels have been increased slightly.

What’s it like to be poor? It sucks. I am a very talented and technical person but our income ebbs and flows with project demands and is often at the mercy of a company’s accounts payables department which may have only specific days of the month that checks are cut.

"The technology market continues to grow, which keeps pushing wages up," says Jim Lanzalotto, vice president of strategy and marketing at Yoh. "Hiring managers are continuing to look for specialized talent to help them keep up with maturing technology. For example, a candidate with .Net developer skills and pharmaceutical experience is far more engaging to a hiring manager than a candidate with the skills but not the market expertise or experience."

A trend is also seen towards reaching beyond geographic boundaries for talent, no longer insisting the technology consultants be on site.

[Source via Maszman Speaks!]

I like that "trend is … reaching beyond geographic boundaries" as my telecommuting skills rock! I have started trying to make a move from consulting back to the corporate world which could stabilize our cash flow issues but I have learned that doing so is a fulltime effort. That is, fulltime with no pay. I was recently pre-qualified for a part-time technical job. The interview process had two more steps. One, I had to write a piece of code and if they liked the code, two, I would have a face to face interview. The interviewer asked that I set aside 5 days for the code project…unpaid. Frankly I tried to squeeze it in but if I could afford to set aside 5 days to write a freebie for a large company, then I wouldn’t be looking to switch from consulting to corp. Of course, it may be easier just to remain a contractor.

I was wondering if other contractors have encountered "discrimination" from companies wary of hiring independent contractors as fulltime employees.
…
They also brought up the fact (without me asking) that they have an extremely high contractor to fulltime employee ratio and their contractors tend to leave. During the interview they also expressed concern about my contracting background. Several days after the interview I received an email saying they are passing me up.
…
I often saw posts to job boards saying that anyone that previously worked as a contractor need not apply. A friend of mine worked as a contractor and he found it hard to get permanent type jobs again.
…
I was told by someone who made an offer (that I eventually turned down) that they wouldn’t have made me an offer if they knew I was a contractor. Her reasoning was "contractors don’t feel as attached to the product".
[Source]


[Source]

Americans perceive the federal government’s definition of poverty as being too low. The government says that a family of four with an income higher than $17,029 is not poor. However, more than three in five Americans (64%) say that a family of four with an income of $20,000 is poor, and two in five (42%) say a family of four earning $25,000 is poor. [Source] [How Americans view the poor]

Poor people waste lots of time on the phone trying to negotiate with nasty people. This time on the phone would be better spent earning money. I just called an important creditor to explain that my client’s check did not arrive in the mail as expected (just spoke to them..they haven’t mailed it yet) and wanted to see if I could wait one more day to pay their $315.88 bill. They said sure but at that point the bill would increase to $691.29 plus a $40 penalty and they would require an addition $100 from me meaning that because I’m poor instead of paying $315.88 I am required to pay $831.29. Read that twice. "Because you don’t have money, we force you to pay more!" Note that’s a 44% penalty! They tack $140 onto a $315 bill.

Americans are divided over the causes of poverty. About half the public says the poor are not doing enough to help themselves out of poverty, and the other half says that circumstances beyond their control cause them to be poor. Low-income Americans — that is, those making less than twice the federal poverty level, or about $34,000 per year for a family of four — are only slightly more likely than other Americans to feel it is due to circumstances. [Source]

Definitely circumstances! And examples like the bill above only make circumstances worse. It is a simple harmonic motion. When one bill doubles, triple, quadruples, or has all the chits called in, other bills get skipped and then they take their turn in the cycle of doubling and so forth. Accidentally bounce a check and the bank will absorb the next paycheck of a poor person. "Well, that check caused a bounced check fee, then they tried processing it again so you got another one and of course we have to charge you an over draft fee and since you are carrying a negative balance there is a fee per day until you bring your balance current? Oh, you only wrote the check for $6 for milk. Well, I’m sorry but the fees amount to roughly $300." The wealthy are rewarded. "Since you maintain a balance over $1500 we waive the monthly checking account fee."

…people with incomes between the poverty level and twice the poverty level also reported serious problems … For instance, about 40% of the people in that group say they or someone in their immediate family fell behind in their utility payments or couldn’t pay for medical care in the last year; and more than a third say that at some point they had too little money to buy enough food. [Source]

What of health? Meanwhile, my wife urgently needs some medical treatment. She is in pain and I can’t do a damned thing about it. That’s right. Because we are poor, we don’t have health insurance, therefore we have to pay much more than people with money to take care of ourselves. Will I get her taken care of? Certainly. Somehow. But not only will I have to fight the creditors and the health providers (they don’t like uninsured people) but I will have to fight my martyr of a wife who won’t make an appointment because she doesn’t want to spend the money.

Data released today by the Census Bureau show that the number of uninsured Americans stood at a record 46.6 million in 2005, with 15.9 percent of Americans lacking health coverage. “The number of uninsured Americans reached an all-time high in 2005,” said Robert Greenstein, executive director of the Center on Budget and Policy Priorities. “It is sobering that 5.4 million more people lacked health insurance in 2005 than in the recession year of 2001… [Source]

Repeat story for Wednesday. Overall though, we are doing better and recovering from the disasters of the past that put us into our challenging situation. We will overcome. It is hard to prosper though when your situation preoccupies the mind because that hinders the productivity needed to change the situation. Oh, I was just offered a position at $14/hr which would be roughly $560 a week then take out roughly 30% for taxes and what not leaving around $300 take home from which you have to pay for lunches and gas which would mean somewhere between $200-300 per week to pay for bills, food for family, school expenses, etc. The math just doesn’t work out. And the poor get poorer.

In one in eight of the poorest families, two adults work full time but do not earn enough to afford our region’s soaring costs.

These are the people who wait on us at the department-store checkout line, prepare our lattes, care for our children while we work and vacuum beneath our desks while we sleep. Our economy would grind to a halt without them.

But with low wages and slim benefits, their jobs are often merely a veneer separating them from disaster. An unexpected car repair, a weeklong illness or the cutback of a few hours a week at work can quickly put basics such as groceries or heat out of their reach.

Source]

Are you middle class? I implore you! Don’t slip. (but you are still getting screwed)

Posted on by — Leave a comment

Molly’s Mystery Ball Stash

Red Jolly Ball in tree

Molly can tear a soccer ball to shreds in minutes. Basketballs don’t stand a chance. After long searching, we finally discovered the Jolly Ball (which Petsmart lists as a horse toy). She started off with a small green one that we thought she’d never get her mouth around. It still exists today and although it has hundreds of puncture marks, the green ball is as strong as ever. Next we bought her a larger red Jolly Ball (as seen in the tree picture) and it is still around today albeit with a large split from where Cathy or I (still debated) ran over it with the car. Before Christmas the green and red balls had disappeared so for Christmas Molly received a large purple Jolly Ball. Funny enough, the green and red ball have reappeared only we cannot get them all at the same time. She apparently keeps them stashed somewhere in the neighborhood. I’ll send her out with the red one and she’ll return with the purple ball. I feel the need to follow her on the next outting!

Posted on by — 3 Comments

Vicodin should be OTC

A couple of Vicodin would save Cathy’s life today. Medicines like Vicodin and Valium should be sold over the counter. Perhaps, like the meth drugs, quantities should simply be traced to watch for abuse. If too many are being sold to a particular person, they can be referred to a doctor. The way we handle health care in this country is pathetic.

I know the wealthy can have as many drugs as they want and even don’t need. I knew a wealthy person that popped Vicodin like House. The poor have to suffer. It’s not right.

Posted on by — Leave a comment

How’s your Monday?

This day is undeniably the most critical day this month for us. I really need to be on my game. Unfortunately my wife is ill so I’m torn between the responsibilities of work and family. This is difficult because there is no correct choice. Mondays for me are typically always hard. I should get in the habit of getting up way early on Mondays. Evan actually keeps me in bed. Since he only sleeps in the crib a few hours, I stay in bed more than I would like because I fear that if I get out, he will roll out onto the floor. I guess I need to simply trust that the rubber pads on the floor will protect him.