A blogger’s grandfather has passed.
GAC is hanging in there although it sounds like the hospital is in dire need of a dialysis machine.
Blog
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Lost Mind
My glasses are inconsequential. Almost decoration. But they help me focus and concentrate. Now they’ve gone missing. This bites.
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I hate spam!
The stock ticker spam is out of control. My inbox is almost useless.
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Giving hope and prayers
Newscoma mentions "It seems we are all sending each other hope these days." It does feel like everyone is going through something. Maybe it is our smaller world. Twenty-five years ago, the world would not be following a family’s fight for life in Oak Ridge. Maybe it would get a brief mention on local news but certainly not the world wide attention it has received.
I need hope now it ways that I cannot/will not discuss. But my troubles are put is such proportion by GAC’s battle between life and death. I feel selfish even thinking of myself.
Last night I had to put gas in the van to get Tommy to STAR. The lady on the other side of the pump swiped her card repeatedly until finally a booming voice came across the speaker declaring, "pump one still says declined." She speaks out to the air to cover the embarassment of the announcement to the world, "I’ll try my debt card." A wrinkled hand lifts a different piece of plastic. I wanted to swipe mine and say, "filler ‘er up on me" but I had to say a prayer that I didn’t get declined as I swiped for my own gas. The poverty trap sucks badly. Once you get in it is very hard to get out. As I move away from consulting and back into regular work, my budget (money and time) is going to include something to help save a family from poverty. Our economy is rotten.
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Today’s Challenge
Now that the anxiety attack has died down, let’s fuel it again.
I have two small projects that both need to be completed today. One is a ColdFusion project. The other is a PHP project. Additionally I need to vote. The children are home and will need to be fed and occasionally need intervention. I have to fill out a ton of paperwork. I need to spend several hours on the telephone. I would like to clean my office and redesign my personal websites.
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Panic Attack
I’m going to throw up. My heart feels like it is going to jump out of my chest.
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Another Application Off
These are such hard choices. I need to be earning lots of money rapidly. I mean absurdly rapidly. So I am faced with choices: 1) waste my day way on the phone with the bureacrats trying to get more time to make good on my debts, 2) spend my day earning money, or 3) spend my day trying to find a job that pays a steady, predictable amount of money albeit less than I make in this unpredictable hell. Today I chose number 3 and have been on the phone with recruiters, sending emails, and filling out questionaires about my capabilities to try to get a job.
I have made some mistakes. I trusted too much. I gave too much and asked too little. I refused to let go off projects that should have been cut free. I would make any sacrifice right now to turn those mistakes around.
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Of Grasshoppers
Master: Are you ok?
Student: No. -
Of Grasshoppers
Student: Is it too late to turn back?
Master: The path crumbles behind you. -
Monkies in trees
We just had a wonderful time with some of the AtomicTumor crew at the UT Arboretum including LissaKay. Evan played hard and beat the snot out of himself. We found a Hicks Yew (I think) that had been trained to look like a green igloo complete with a tunneled entrance. The kids loved it. It was very peaceful inside. Evan got so excited that on his first try to get in he ran into the tunnel and connected a branch on the forehead landing him on his back. Later he tried this same stunt scratching his forehead and swelling his eye lid. Noah had a blast as did Tommy who wandered off to find a grove of trees that fascinated him. Amy had a playmate and they made pretend meals of straw and sticks until a lion ran them from their hovel. Cathy got some adult conversation time and seemed very happy. I love the outdoors and look forward to doing this again soon.
By the way, if you are looking to visit the UT Aboretum, they hide the rules on the website but post them clearly about the premises. No pets. No picnicking. Only walking (no skateboards, bikes, motor vehicles etc). And some Leave No Trace type rules. They need to post these clearly on their website.
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Of Grasshoppers
Student: What have I done to get here?
Master: You walked a path. Along the way you made choices. -
Oh yes! Program done!
I now have successfully written a PHP program that goes to another website, downloads any number of tif files (one test used 48), combines them into a single tif file, converts the tiff to a single pdf file (48 tiffs become a 48 page pdf), and presents the new single pdf and single tif to the enduser for downloading or viewing. This was a nightmare and has cost me dearly. It is done and I can move on.
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Doogie Howser is ghey
Well now..How are Harold and Kumar going to feel out the love stains in the backseat of their car now?!
LOS ANGELES (AP) – Neil Patrick Harris is gay and wants to quell any rumors to the contrary. “(I) am quite proud to say that I am a very content gay man living my life to the fullest,” Harris tells People magazine’s Web site. [Source]
hehe. Apparently "White Castle" is only in America. The Canadian title is "Harold et Kumar chassent le burger" and the UK title is "Harold & Kumar Get the Munchies" Fans may be happy to hear that scheduled for 2007 is "Harold and Kumar Go to Amsterdam." Color me skeptical.
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How to post del.icio.us daily links automatically to WordPress
If you want the del.icio.us daily blog post to work in WordPress, your settings should look like the settings below. To get to these, log into del.icio.us, click "settings" and find the "dialy blog post" link. Finally click "Add new thingy."
job_name: DailyDelicious {doesn't really matter}
out_name: {wordpress user here must have at least author privileges or it won't work}
out_pass: {wordpress user password - will be displayed in plain text}
out_url: http://domainname.com/xmlrpc.php
out_time: 23 {military time}
out_blog_id: {leave this blank}
out_cat_id: 17 {number of the category id for the post - get the number under Manage->Categories}
I have decided to turn this off. Instead I have a link in my sidebar that reveals my del.icio.us tag cloud and below the cloud my most recent links.
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This Big Small World
Six years ago Cathy and I walked through West Town Mall. We had a wonderful store called The World of Knowledge. Outside an employee was playing with devil sticks. I borrowed them, showed off, and gave some advice. Apparently she remembered, because six years later we met again at Atomic Tumor’s party and she pointed saying, "ow ow ow! I know you!". It was a good moment. Now she is in the hospital and holding onto life by a thread.
nurses are telling me that her vitals can’t support life for long, that I told my 9 year old son as lightly as I could that his mother might die, that, despite HOW HARD I TRY NOT TO I can’t help figureing out how I’d word her obiturary on this stupid web page because I might just need to, I start to break down. [Source]
Head over to AtomicTumor, give a shout in the chat box found in the sidebar, leave some supportive comments, and say some prayers, send some positive energy, and think good thoughts.