Marriage – the longest funeral procession you’ll ever live through.
Word of the Day
FU
“Just one of those crazy accidents,” Mr White said.
No, it’s not just a crazy accident. No four/five year old should have a real gun!
A FIVE-year-old boy who was playing with a .22 caliber rifle he’d been given as a gift accidentally shot and killed his two-year-old sister in their Kentucky home
…
the children’s mother was cleaning the house at the time and had stepped outside onto the porch
…
The rifle had been given to the boy last year and was kept in the corner of a room. The parents didn’t realise a shell had been left in it.[Source, Herald Sun, US boy, 5, accidentally shoots and kills sister, 2]
Again, I use this as an example of why schools should remain gun free zones. Mistakes will be made. Lives will be lost. And mark my words, no armed teacher, staff member, or janitor will stop an active shooter…it just doesn’t happen that way.
Of Grasshoppers
Student: Did I have to yell?
Master: NO!
Sleep should be optional
We should be allowed occasional weeks without sleep without repercussion. This is one of those weeks.
Well there you have it. I’m a freaking genius!
intelligence has been linked to unconventional sexual practices and frequent sexual activity, thoughts and fantasies.[57]
Here’s footnote 57 citing the original source:
Thompson, Mark (1). “3”. Who Should You Have Sex With.
Sourcebooks Casablanca. p. 78. ISBN 978-1402242045
Sniglets
Remember that fad in the 80s inspired by Rich Hall on Not Necessarily the News when everyone was making up words like detrunkus and giving them made up definitions like the act of losing ones shorts when diving into a pool. And we all bought several books of these Sniglets. I thought of one today:
lottoptimism – spending money on the belief that your next lottery ticket will be the winner.
Of course, lottoptimism leads us to:
lottonomics – the result of living with lottoptimism which often results in the loss of property and becoming friends with guys with names like Vinni who say things like "hey boss" a lot.
Part-time Mr. Mom
Man I’m feeling domestic right now. Dear Boss, could my wife go to the office for me this week? I want to do that whole Disney role swap thing for a week but perhaps without the body switching thing.
Packing Frustrations
Every pair of Smartwool Hiking Sock
For every end there is a new beginning
Another chapter has closed in the story that is my life. Naturally no ending is ever cut and dry. No beginning well defined. The postmortem for the past twelve years (24 years by some accounts) includes some dotting of Ts and crossing of eyes [sic]. Some dust either needs to be swept under the rug or cleaned from under the rug. Some final goodbyes need to be spoken. As the ink dries on the final words of the final page of this past chapter, words are already forming in the new one. Like any story, the initial draft may require a course correction or a rewrite. The outline for this next chapter, this next adventure, has the title penciled in as "Thus the massive decluttering and reorganization began!"
MasterCard was never an option
One naive mistake – $35,000
Years recovering – 12
Not owing the IRS a dime – priceless!
GW says Jeb should run in 2016
In an interview aired Wednesday with ABC News, the former president says his brother would be, in his words, a "marvelous candidate."
[Source, The Huffington Post, George W. Bush: Jeb Bush Should ‘Run’ In 2016 (VIDEO)]
Hell no! The only bush I want to see in the White House better have tits.
Oh thank you Barbara! She doesn’t want Jeb to run.
"There are other people out there that are very qualified and we’ve had enough Bushes," former first lady Barbara Bush told NBC’s "Today"
[Source, The Washington Post, Barbara Bush: Jeb shouldn’t run for president]
Bad foreplay
One should not stare at his naked wife, pause, and casually suggest, "we should start riding bikes as a family."
R.I.P. Upcoming.org
Yahoo!, the killer-of-companies, is at it again. This time Upcoming.org is on the chopping block. Yahoo! is also killing off five others: Yahoo! Deals, Yahoo! SMS Alerts, Yahoo! Kids, Yahoo! Mail and Messenger feature phone (J2ME) apps, and Older versions of Yahoo! Mail.
One day I hope to have a wonderfully successful Internet based company; and I also hope Yahoo! never buys it.
Dove Campaign for Real Beauty Continues with New Ads
I’ve been moved by the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty since its inception. The evolution film was powerful. Now Dove is at it again using forensic artists to draw people as they see themselves and then again as others see them.
