Dad: "Sarah, what do you want for Christmas?"
Sarah: "uh. I dunno."
Dad: "Well, that’s what you’ll get."
It is so hard to be thirteen.
Month: December 2006
Hello Tumorites!
I’ve been AtomicTumorlached!
Er, a hello post to the throng is customary isn’t it?
From the mouths of babes
We ran out of drink boxes, so I prepared Amy’s apple juice in a plastic container with a built-in straw.
Dad: "Amy, this is your drink for lunch. Please don’t throw it away."
Amy, 4 years old going on 14: "Dad! I’ve only done this a thousand times already."
Guys watch porn and girls don’t.
Yesterday Cathy and I were discussing how it may have been uncomfortable for a 16 year old boy to watch a movie with sexual and drug related themes with his parents. We started talking about how Tommy requires a more direct approach with such things than other teenagers. Tommy does not get the benefit of friends gathering around and sneaking a watch of a dirty movie or one that your parents would disapprove. I know that I innocently got together with a bunch of friends in high school only to discover they had arranged to watch Caligula.
This version contained many scenes with extremely taboo, sexually, and violently explicit content, including … (see second bullet under "Multiple Versions" for the full description) [Source]
In the course of a couple of hours, my knowledge grew exponentially! (the curious can find pictures buried here) These are certain rites of passage that we assume everyone experiences but some people just miss out due to helicopter parenting or special needs. I am by no means suggesting that I sit down and watch porn with my son. I am suggesting that some people have gaps in what otherwise is common knowledge because that knowledge (slang, taboo subjects, etc) is taught through peer relations, relationships that simply do not exist in certain circumstances. I digress.
My real point is that from this discussion Cathy mentioned that "girls don’t watch porn." And added jokingly, "because they don’t have to!" She is right though. Girls could have the real thing anytime they want but hold back. Guys want it all the time but cannot get it. Funny how some things never change.
They are just being naked kids
One of the children..I am guessing that it was one of the children..sat on, leaned on, or otherwise put substantial weight on the door of our dryer. The metal at the hinges bent enough that the door will no longer stay closed. I am about to get creative with a drill and a latch like on our refrigerator. If this gets worse, we won’t be able to dry clothes. That will teach the kids! "I understand that it is snowing. Perhaps your panties will dry by lunch. Don’t mind the jokes from the other children."
Fuzzy
My head feels clouded today. The sky is overcast. I have no clear mission for the day. Seems like I have 100 little things that I need to do for other people. I have not heard a word back since my interview and that disappoints me as I was/am thrilled with the company. Christmas lurks. I want to be working on the house. And time keeps on ticking…
Oh, speaking of fuzzy, Tommy likes Pink Floyd, as he should, so last night the other kids were away so Tommy got to see The Wall (wikipedia entry) for the first time. As Cathy and I watched it with him, I had this strange realization that last night was possibly the first time I have ever seen the movie sober. I have a list of things that I almost did. Rather than regret not doing this things I remember them to prevent hesitation in future opportunities. One of my big almosts came in 1990 when I had passport in hand, credit card at the ready, and I almost flew to Germany to see Roger Waters perform Pink Floyd’s The Wall in celebration of The Berlin Wall being torn down.
Cathy gets eBay – really well!
So, Cathy has this collection of Rodney Reindeers from Hallmark. They have been discontinued. We had 6 but now there are seven people in the family. I offer to help her find one more but she wants to take care of it. Several days pass and I hear nothing about it so I decide to take some initiative and check eBay. Rodney has about 85 auctions. I exuberantly relay the information to Cathy who responds with, "shutup!"
Apparently Cathy discovered Rodney on eBay on her own. And lost her first auction. In an effort to not lose again, she bid on 6 auctions! She won 3 of them. So, if the number of Rodneys are supposed to match the number of people in house, Cathy had better get to work because it appears we need to more than double the size of the household.
Quiet on the set
The cat cam is on. Twopaws is trying to attack the swirling leaves through the glass.
Night Cramps
Every now and then I get these killer leg cramps in my sleep. My calf muscle will tighten so much that I spring to wakefulness. The calf is so tight that you could break a board across it and feels like it wants to rip from my leg. It can hurt so bad as to bring tears to my eyes. The biggest challenge is riding it out without waking others in my bed. I am helpless to voluntarily relax the muscle. The only thing that can be done is grip it firmly, apply pressure and massage. Pointing the toes and relaxing the foot then repeating that motion sometimes helps. The calf will be tender all day.
According to the secondary causes, I appear to be in the late stages of pregnancy.
