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Seeking Miracles – Mythical Babysitter

Friday Tommy has Freshman orientation. We have a ton of paperwork to get done before and during orientation. I have yet to see the campus. If I can arrange a babysitter for 12 hours on Friday for a 3 year old, 6 year old and two German Shepherds, I can accompany Tommy and Cathy on the orientation. We have never used a babysitter other than relatives. Exactly how does one go about getting someone to come to your house and deal with your screaming children for twelve hours?

In other miracles, I kindly request the Tennessee Lottery Corporation to select my numbers. Yes, after hearing about Russ’s doorman, I bought a ticket for tonight’s Powerball but I purchased it with ad revenue from TNLotteryResults.com.

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From the mouths of babes

Tommy, almost 18: "Amy you can’t say that."
Amy, 6 years old: "Yes I can."
Tommy: "No you can’t."
Amy: "Yes I can!"
Tommy: "No you can’t! Quit it!"

Evan, 3 years old bouncing and chanting: "Amy, bebe. Amy, bebe. Amy, bebe."
Amy: "Evan, stop it!"
Evan, adds some sway to his shoulders and bobs his head: "Amy, bebe. Amy, bebe. Amy, bebe."
Amy, tearing up: "Make him stop! Evan’s calling me a baby!"

Oh how they slip down instead of rise up. Do the younger of the species always win?

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From the mouths of babes

Evan, 3 years old: "Amy, I gotcha your nose!"
Amy, 6 years old, covering face with her book: "No you don’t. It’s protected!"
Amy:"Hey! That’s cheating."
Evan:"I gotchit!"
Amy:"I got your nose."
Evan:"NO Ammie!"
Evan:"Give you me my nose!"
Amy:"No. Give me my nose."
Evan, crying:"NO.. AAAAaaMY!"

Noses should have been designed to stay on our faces better.

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From the mouths of babes

Conversations that before you were a parent you never imagined really happen and in hindsight can’t believe you had:

Dad, agitated: "Noah did you go to the bathroom downstairs when you got home from school?"
Noah, exasperated: "No."
Dad, perturbed: "Tommy did you poop downstairs?"
Tommy, annoyed: "NOoooo Daaad."
Dad, disbelieving: "Sarah, did you go to the bathroom downstairs?"
Sarah, sharply: "Nope!"
Dad, grasping at straws: "Amy did you use the potty downstairs?"
Amy, lying: "Nuh uh."
Dad, befuddled: "No one used the bathroom downstairs but there’s a giant poop in it?!"

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Finally at my desk!

None of the children made their bus today. That means I drove to an elementary school, a middle school, and the high school (twice) because one of the high schoolers grew ill and required a stop at Target for medicine. That one was not contagious and refused the offer to stay home. Ok. I’ve filled my Monday crap quota. Can I have the rest of the day in peace to get some work done?

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My child walks the road where dogs go to die

Thank you strangers, whoever you were, for delivering my child from harms way. See, I just washed the dog, was shirtless, and looking fairly unpresentable having just returned from leading 17 boys on a rock climbing camping trip. By the time I grabbed a shirt you were gone. I suppose I should have just gone to your car. It would have completed the picture of an irresponsible white trash parent for you. My almost 6 year old daughter was trying to find the neighbor’s dog after it ran away and the neighbor, thinking the children wouldn’t wander far, told the children they could not come back into the house until the dog was found. My daughter knows she cannot go past a certain marking on the street but apparently did not know she could not cross the creek. That creek is thick with mud and still has water from our recent deluges. She found her way to Northshore Drive which is one of those roads riddled with crosses on the shoulder and enough road kill to create an A to Z picture book of dead animals. This is the same road I fought for three years to convince the school that our elementary school bus stop should not be on that road.

I have to say this event has created conflict in so many ways. The wife and I are bitterly angry at each other because I grew furious that she wouldn’t go greet you. She did not understand what I was asking, did not see you pull up, and also considered herself unpresentable. Instead you met my oldest son. He has an issue with social situations and does not understand things like asking for your name so that I have some semblance of a clue about whether or not you were friends or just plain good Samaritans. You also met my dog who is a very friendly and safe German Shepherd but has taken to running toward strangers at the house with a fear inducing bark but really she just wants to say hi and let us know you are here. I got mad because I just soaked myself and made my back ache giving her a bath on the porch but apparently I am the only person in our family capable of opening the front door without letting the dog outside. I am upset with my daughter for straying so far from home, for being on such a dangerous road, and for getting in a car with someone she did not recognize, "because she told [her] to get in and [she] didn’t want to be rude." At the same time, I am thrilled that she got in the car with you! I will have to re-think this whole brainwashing our children to not trust strangers bit. After all, aren’t most people good? Shouldn’t we trust each other? Thanks again for keeping my child safe!

Update: Later the neighbor did drive out and find their dog safe and sound.

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I have meeting clothes

In preparing for our father daughter dance last night, Amy explained that I had to wear my "meeting clothes." See, some people have dress clothes or even church clothes but apparently in the eyes of my sweet little five year old, I only get fancied up when I have to leave the house for a meeting! I love that girl!

"If I hafta wear a dress, then Daddy has to wear his meeting clothes." [Source, Cathy’s Twitter]

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He & Me

Multimedia messageI had the pleasure of my first ever father and daughter dance last night. My daughter was beautiful and moved with grace! Of course, watching one other father and daughter burn up the dance floor made me wish I had brushed up on some dance steps. Amy and I laughed, jitterbugged, swung, locked elbow to elbow squaring dancing for Rocky Top, and just plain boogied! I stood on the sidelines while she did the cha cha two step. I forgot to Tango with her which she had requested. Of course, the only way my date would accept a dance from me was if I placed my left hand on my chest, extended my right arm out in her direction with a flip of the wrist, dipping my head and making an exaggerated bow. The gym was packed with familiar faces and Amy danced with her friends and had discussions with other dads. I foresaw the future as one of the older girls frequently ditched her father to hang with her friends; 30 seconds of dad, 10 minutes of friends, repeat.

Whenever I post about family, I think back to March 24, 2006 which is when I finally started paying more attention to KristyK’s January 24th wish to see more discussion on blended families.

I know of a few blended families that I read online [Cathy and her husband, Poetical, Educating Hercules]. But,even though these are blended families, I don’t read a lot about the ‘step’ part. [Source, KristyK, there are no rules for this]

Sarah, my older daughter, missed out on doing the father/daughter dance. At the age she would have been doing these dances, her biological father had left, and she, her two brothers, along with her mother were living in the grandparent’s house. I am sorry that Sarah missed that opportunity and I hope that she and I have dances in our future! You may note that we don’t use the word step in this family. It might be different if biodad came around more than 2 days a year. The older children had their choice to call me Doug, dad, that guy, or whatever. They also are free to call me step-dad. Those choose dad in both cases and I couldn’t be honored more! I don’t use step in referring to my sons or daughter because we are so close that at times I forget there was a sperm donor involved.