Nothing makes me feel worse than losing my temper with my family. Well, except maybe the flippant remarks made by me during the bout of anger. No one deserves to be yelled at. It solves nothing and tears are painful. Afterall, it’s only fucking grades. And am I really mad at the child? Or at my own parental shortcomings? Something tells me it is the latter so perhaps I really should be yelling at myself. Oh, internally I’m already there.
Category: Of Being Dad
Fatherly posts.
Parenting Means
Being a parent means on Saturday morning, before you are dressed, your wallet is already $60 lighter.
Things you don’t want to overhear as a parent
"Go. Go. GO! Is it falling out already?"
More upset than I expected
We all have our time. It comes. It goes. I’m pragmatic. I’m stoic. So I am surprised at how upsetting today has been to me. I am also a romantic. A philosopher. The physical manifestation is just that…something expected and done. The problem is the metaphorical interpretation of today’s event reaches too deeply into my being. I require downtime. And distraction. But responsibilities have to be dwelt with first.
From the mouths of babes
Me: "Amy, I’m going to kill you."
Amy, 11 years old, jumping off the glass top stove to the kitchen floor: "Sorry Daddy."
Me: "Do you see that step ladder beside the fridge?"
Amy: "Yes."
Me: "Use it! What is the stove top made of?"
Amy: "Glass."
Me: "I love you Amy!"
Amy: "I love you too Daddy."
Me: "I’ll put that on your tombstone."
Either genius or stupid
Depending on your perspective, this is either a genius or not very brilliant solution to a cat problem. The kittens have taken to chewing electrical cords. At $80 a cord, Apple is loving our kittens. So, I’ve decided to train them away from cords…by squirting them with water when I see them chewing a cord. I think it is a spark of genius! One way or another, this problem will end.
Parenting with a squirt gun
I don’t hit my children but I do yell far too much. I’ve decided to quit yelling. Instead I’m going to carry a squirt bottle with me everywhere I go. If my children appear damp, don’t jump to concluding they got caught in a squall, but know their behavior has been corrected.
From the mouths of babes
My oldest son: "Can I test the spray paint here?"
Me: "You are standing too close to the house and our grill and other stuff that the wind could carry the overspray of the paint onto and cause your death. And I really don’t want to go to jail for the rest of my life."
Failing at life
Since leaving the basement in 2010 to work in Cubeville, I believe my biggest failing in life has been to not find my "Cheers" in which to get schnookered for the transition from work to home and vice versa.
Awkward parent moment
Tonight’s awkward moment of reading aloud to your 8 year old brought to by Neil Gaimen in Stardust
Skipping to the next safe paragraph, I continue reading to my children.
Of Being Dad
I’d give the world to be a stay at home dad the next 3 years.
Saturday Dad
It’s the first day of a long weekend. Monday is a holiday. I’m trying to maintain my cool despite the stress I am under to complete client projects and personal projects. I feel hamstrung by some of the service people in my life who have failed to come through. A surveyor who hasn’t come out to mark my property lines. An hvac person who hasn’t found the time to consult with me. My attorney is being slow to answer some questions. My electrician … well… my electrician is waiting on me to commit to the project.
As a father, it is difficult to remember that despite giving your children the same instruction 29999 times that they don’t truly remember the instructions until you’ve given it to them 30000 times. But this is how they learning. Today I watched my son start to use the weed eater without eye protection. Apparently he doesn’t remember his grandfather’s trip to the emergency room.
Of Being Dad
I just read to my youngest children for an hour. I am hoarse and happy.
Saturday
I posed a question on Facebook today:
Oh my. Program? Cut the grass? Clean the house? Read a book? Run some new pipe? Build a wall? Upgrade the electrical wiring to 12-2? Install a panic button? Wash the wife’s car? Marinate some steaks? Repair the garage door? Clean the driveway? Finish hole 2 of the minigolf? Built a fort for Evan? Paint? Install flooring in the basement?
Thus far, my day has been:
- Wake at 5:30 to drive son to work.
- Wake at 6:30 to drive son to scouting event.
- 7-8am Help scouts pack van to Shining Rock
- 8-9am Visit with a friend
- 9-noon Internet. Some client work. Putz. Pick son up from work. Prepare garage for work on the garage door. And marinate steaks!
- Noon – 12:40pm Repair garage door.
- 2-4 errands with wife including Agrifeed for rats, pig ears, and cat toys, Target, and Sears.
Now to see about a garage door repair.
Update: 12:40pm Garage door repair complete.
To My Children
Don’t discount the wisdom of those who came before you.
