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Child Protective Services – Don’t read this

Juggling with EvanJuggling with Amy
Juggling with SarahJuggling with Sarah
Cathy on topJuggling with Noah

Here’s some additional information about the rolla bolla from my comment on Cathy’s flickr set:

I now get to tell a story which may or may not add a little bit of a technical appreciation for what’s happening in this picture. My rolla bolla freaks other jugglers out. Mine is completely homemade. It uses a 4 inch diameter thick pvc pipe. The board itself happens to be exactly the same length as a shelf in a homemade bookcase I built for my dorm room in college because it is one the shelves which happen to be precisely 19 inches in length. Most jugglers are more accustomed to using rolla bollas closer to 3 feet long. For instance, Dube’s is 29 inches (btw, there’s your spec).

Juggling is all about physics. This is center of gravity trick. The longer the board, the greater the center of gravity. In essence, if you drew a line from the ground up to the top of your head (or the head fo the person on your shoulders) that divided your torso symmetrically and simply made sure that line never passed over your foot, you would never fall down. Since my board is so short, there is very little room for error. One way to cheat the physics is to use a larger diameter piece of pvc but frankly the 5 inch pvc tends to flatten a little taking away from the visual effect (in addition to simply being disproportionate to the other equipment and plain ugly).

Regarding the pvc when making a homemade rolla bolla. I learned the hardway that the pvc pipe should be the same width as the board (or slightly larger). If it is smaller you create a third degree of freedom and you might as well be doing this trick on top of a ball.

Don’t use those stupid stoppers on the bottom of your board! If you look at the Dube rolla bolla you will see that the underside of the board has stops at each end. This prevents the board from flying at high velocity to your left or right severely hurting people. Instead the board stops and you go flying at high velocity to the left or right breaking yourself and the people standing beside you. When we were first learning this trick. My brother fell off the board and sent it flying into a filing cabinet. 3 days later we were still trying to open the drawer. Without the stoppers you can safely take the board to the very edge without falling. I mean the very edge being exactly at the halfway point on the pvc pipe. Instead of the stoppers, control your board.

You can break things with a rolla bolla! These things may include: glass, bones, teeth, spines, and metal cabinets. When learning to stand on a rolla bolla do these things:

  1. Get a partner! Have the partner stand behind you with their arms underneath your armpits but not touching you. When you fall, they will spot you and keep you from breaking yourself
  2. Make sure your feet are at the edges of the board.
  3. Wear shoes!
  4. Practice daily in short spurts
  5. Start with the board touching the ground on one side and about one third of the board on the pipe. Starting by jumping up to a horizontally balanced board is cool and fun but an advanced trick that will land a beginner on their hind side.

The rolla bolla will increase your balance, develop your abs and back, and tighten your buttocks.

Warnings!

  1. Don’t let people stand to your left or right. I cannot emphasize this enough.
  2. If you fall…er…when you fall, think of yourself as being on a skate board or inline skate. Protect your wrists! Better to belly flop on concrete than to impact your wrist, elbows and knees

I will happily get together with anyone that wants help learning the rolla bolla.

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Regarding parenting, they don’t tell you these things

Nothing feels better than having a little guy or girl snuggle up in your arms, tuck their head into the crook of your neck, and totally relax as they fall into a deep sleep. The small child totally surrenders themselves. They give their full trust that you will protect them and keep them safe during their slumber. It puts you on top of the world!

Evan must have had a rough night last night at the grandparents. Either he was up late or they had a serious fun at church. Evan drifted off in the car on the way to the grocery. When I picked him up, he had turned into a rag doll. Wiped. Zonked. Gone! Playing in the land of Zs. Snoozeville. I could have skipped the store and gotten by on whatever is in the pantry but instead I parked Evan on my hip, gently rested his head on my shoulder and went into Kroger for a couple of quick items. Standing in the coffee isle grabbing the very last item on my list is when I felt liquid puddling in my flip flop under the heal of my left foot. I glanced down and about the same time I saw something dripping off Evan’s big toe, the left side of my shirt turned very warm…then very wet.

Something happens to the brain when you have children. The processing goes haywire. I don’t think we get dumber but perhaps more reactionary. For instance, in college, when your drunk friend starts to gag, you simply turn them away from you and give encouraging words as they turn into a human geyser. There’s not a parent on the face of the Earth who hasn’t cupped their hands and placed them in front of their child’s mouth in a similar situation. So what happened between college and parenthood?!

There’s four things that go through your head when holding a small child and simultaneously feeling urine run down your leg:

  1. Is it me?! (no, I’m not that old yet)
  2. Yuck! Pee anywhere but me! (This is associated with using both hands to hold the child as far away from you as possible. The child remains rag dollishly deep asleep. The urine no longer is disguised by your clothes but instead drips from the child’s ten toes resembling a garden sprinkler.)
  3. Has anyone noticed? (This is associated with the action of bringing the child back to your hip. Saying a prayer that he’s almost done. And hoping your cotton clothing is very absorbent.)
  4. Get me the hell out of here! (This is associated with running away from your cart and the puddle on the floor, and bee lining it directly to the restroom where you stand a sleeping child at the urinal while nothing happens.)

If having a child sleep on your shoulder is one of the greatest feelings in the world, having that same child pee on you in aisle 8 of the grocery stores is one of the most disconcerting.

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Great siblings

I love watching my children play together. Evan loves his brother and Noah is so patient with him. This morning as Noah practiced his drumming, Evan crawled into his lap and Noah relinquished the drum sticks. He has great patience. Now Amy and Evan play with Play Mobile in the living room. (Granted, they have a time limit before their play devolves into fussing) I really enjoy these guys.

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My Wife: Guest Blogger/Bad Parent

My wife is a guest blogger at Scholastic Parents and a bad parent. Share your thoughts with her.

Read all her Scholastic Parents guest posts. Jump in and feel free to comment on each topic.

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It’s hard being an adult

I just yelled at the 4 year old because he was ignoring my pleas to go upstairs and leave me alone. To him, it’s just a beautiful Saturday and he’d like me to be playing Mouse Trap with him. I sure wish I could. I’d like nothing more than to be spending time with my children. My wife wants progress made on the house and yard. I’d love to be cleaning out the garage, landscaping, plumbing, and getting the ants and the squirrels out of the house.

But I can’t. Today is terribly important. Programming must take priority above all else. It’s a beautiful, sunny Saturday. The birds are chirping. And I’m locked in the basement with heavy guilt.

A child arrived just the other day.. Came to the world in the usual way..