My wife is a guest blogger at Scholastic Parents and a bad parent. Share your thoughts with her.
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Category: Daily Life
Ramblings, often stream of conscious, journaling the events of my life.
Parent Fail
It’s 1:00am and half my family is awake.
On the positive side, I finally got one of my nose hair trimmers working! What a drag it is getting old…
Invisible Rope Trick
This brings back memories. I have no idea where I learned this but when I was 11 or 12 years old, a friend or my brother and I did this. Cars do slow down! But for the record, eventually an angry man gets out of his car and rips you a new one.
EMBED-Invisible Rope Prank II – Watch more free videos
From the mouths of babes
Evan, 4 years old: "Daddy, go downstairs to your computer so I cannot get scissors."
Reminder to self
When cracking jokes to the Aspies, be ready with an explanation that 1) it was a joke and 2) why it is funny. Expect "oh" instead of guffaws.
Sheriff Hunts Someone from the Air
Yesterday a low flying sheriff’s helicopter circled over our house several times. We believe they thought a criminal was in the creek. Roughly 45 minutes later, the police scanner reported apprehending someone at the Weigel’s nearest our house and the helicopters (there were at least 2) went away. When it took the most direct path over our house I had the video camera paused and missed the best shot. This video mostly shows trees.
A couple of things you will hear in this video:
- "they must be 100′ off the ground" – okay. exaggeration and not well seen in this video. The first video I tried shooting, and had the dog gone thing paused, was when they flew directly overhead and it did look much lower
- "could it be drugs" – the DEA flies helicopters over these parts frequently during prime growing season but usually they are over the farms and properties along the river.
The person they were hunting was caught about 45 minutes later 1/4-1/2 mile from my house
Beautiful Day Outside!
I’d like to spend all day cleaning out the garage. What’s this chain doing attached from my ankle to my computer?
Note to the DJ
When trying to have an intimate moment with the wife, romance turns to comedy when the music switches from Led Zeppelin to Meatloaf’s "Paradise by the Dashboard Light" mid-act. I think that’s the first time in my life I’ve actually been able to act that song out…while the song was playing!
This world is small!
A friend, an online friend, whom I have never met in person, was called by someone who now has one of my old cellphone numbers that I quit using about 7 years ago. We know this because my name was still associated with that phone number in his cellphone’s address book and he thought it was me calling. So what exactly are the odds of someone being assigned one of your old, defunct phone numbers accidentally calling a friend of yours in another state? And why can’t I win the lottery?
Mistake Defined
Mistake [mi-steyk] n.,v. To drink a half a pot of coffee then try to program while listening to a thunderstorm as white noise.
My family is trying to kill me
I have a challenge ahead of me that is keeping me on the computer night and day. Last night at midnight I decided to rest a couple of hours then try to work through the night but it would take all night to get those couple of hours:
- midnight: I close my eyes.
- 12:15am: Evan comes into the room and asks for yogurt.
- 12:15am-2:30am: The rumbling of the thunderstorm keeps me tossing an turning. Exhausted but unable to rest.
- 3am: I realize the thunder is actually my daughter trying to put together a desk in the room above us.
- 4am: Dog asks to go outside. I brush her off as neurotic.
- 5am: I concede she’s not neurotic and take her for a walk. She really needed to go out.
- 5am-8am: Score some sleep!
Happy Birthday Aunt Carmen!
My sister-in-law turns..um..21 today! Happy birthday Carmen! One day I’m going to write all these dates down. It would appear that every relative (with just a couple of exceptions) was born in May and June.
Put ego aside
Swallowing your pride is tough!
News Sentinel tries hard sell for old ways in Walgreens
I ran into Walgreens hoping for the world’s quickest pickup of a product that I now know you have to buy at Target and was accosted at the door.
Sales guy, holding out Walgreens printed circular (the bait): "Would you like this week’s ads?"
Me, no I don’t because I came in for a single product but being a dumb human (the nibble): "Sure."
Sales guy (the hook): "Would you like a Walgreens gift card?"
Me, quickly noting the stack of News Sentinel papers (the denial): "No thank you. I don’t need a paper."
Sales guy (the switch): "Are you sure you don’t want a News Sentinel?"
Me (attempted escape): "I read it online."
Sales guy (the lie): "At only 38 cents a day, there’s value in the print edition you can’t get online."
Me (the truth): "Honestly, I’m never going to read a paper ever again." (and I won’t pay for it online either)
| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| End Times | ||||
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You know who would love this? My grandma! [Source, The Daily Show’s Jason Jones, End Times 2:41-2:46]
Thanks to Cathy for pointing to the video!
Happy Birthday Amy!
Amy has been 7 years of joy (and some frustrations) for me! She is full of life, confident, hardheaded, funny, adventurous, emotional, intelligent and so much more. I am lucky to have such a child for a daughter. Happy birthday Amy!
