Philosophy – Page 26

Of Grasshoppers

Student: David Carradine dead at 72.
Master: No words.

If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

Student: I was wrong about everything.
Master: At least you are finally right about something.

Student: I wish my voice could be taken away.
Master: Just shut up.

If everyone only spoke when spoke to, the world would be a very quiet place.

Student: I cannot remember my dreams.
Master: Make new dreams.

Apparently this is an ad on the back of Kentucky’s Leo Weekly.

Student: How did I get here?
Master: You walked a path.

Student: Winning is not an option.
Master: Lose with grace.

A beautiful aspect of aging is you get to have thoughts like, "I wonder if I could braid my nose hairs."

Student: Why does the tide pull me away from the shore?
Master: Why are you standing in the water?

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history – with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.

McCaughan’s Law of Solutions:

Ask five different programmers the same thing and you will get five different answers…and they will all be correct.

Student: All I ever wanted was to be great.
Master: Niagara Falls is great. So is a drop of dew on a single blade of grass.