Year: 2007

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It’s good to answer the phone. Sword Swallowing!

I have this mixed luck. I get some of the most horrendous, ill-timed, apparent "bad" luck. But it is all perspective. Yes, the power went out last night and forced me to experience a 4 hour delay; however, I got some much needed sleep and was of clearer mind for it. I do believe strongly in karma as well as outlook.

An Irishman was out walking and stepped in some dog poo. He declared, "look at my great fortune! I could have been wearing my good shoes!"

variety show

Two weeks ago I asked if we could go to the Bindlestiff Family Circus. JackFM 95.7 put up a contest which I entered and they drew my name! This is exciting on a variety of levels. One, I rarely win anything. Two, the family gets to do something unique and entertaining! Three, I love the Bijou. I even appear in a fund raising video around the time the future of the Bijou was in question. Four, Sword Swalling and JUGGLING! Thank you JackFM!

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Condom testers wanted for new positions

First, no I am not on a condom kick. This story just came out coincidentally close to my anecdote on shopping for condoms with Evan.

Condom

You read that headline and think "ew" or "what a cool job!" I whip out my copy of the Kama Sutra to try to figure out what positions they could have possibly left out!

Durex is a great company with the funniest commercials. They impress me most with their website. Unlike their competitors who use bloated, slow loading flash sites, Durex has a clean, fast loading website packaged with educational information (except for their image downloads which despite numerous back and forth emails I cannot convince them that they are broken).

The position is not paid, but successful applicants will receive a free $60 selection of Durex products and will be required to provide the company with honest feedback about the products’ performance. [Source]

You know, I could picture the feedback going something like this: "The condoms were very comfortable. Like they weren’t there at all. Oh, and let me introduce you to Junior. He was conceived about half way through testing. Btw, I recorded that you have about a 43% breakage rate."

Tim?

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Just My Luck

What kind of luck do I have? It’s actually rather good luck but sometimes that is hard to keep in prospective. Murph was in rare form last night. I step away from the computer only to return to black monitors. The power is gone. I try turning on the box and reseting it and I get nothing. I finally figure out that the UPS/SurgeProtector has died died died. A fruitless search for an extra surge protector/power strip leaves me ready to go to Walmart to buy one then I cast eyes on a 3 pronged extension cord. How fortunate! So I plug the extension cord, sans surge protection, into a wall outlet and boot the computer. As the computer is coming up, the entire house goes dark. My first thought, "would the power company cut us off at midnight?!?" Two minutes later the power returns but it takes another 4 hours of troubleshooting to get my computer to actually boot.

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Today’s MUST READ re: US Healthcare

Triple Venti caught me off guard with this one. I have to process it. In the meantime, you should read it!

While on the job one day, I got caught in gunfire in a not very good neighborhood, and got hit in the head. … The insurance company that handled my workman’s compensation claim decided that since there was nothing life threatening about the bullet, they denied the hospital the ability to perform surgery to remove it. … Fast forward 20 years, I still have that projectile embedded there … [Source]

JayMonster, thanks for sharing!

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Never the popular kid!

Ha ha. I just looked at The Blue Sloth’s twitter page. Phillip is like a sports car. 0-65 (friends) in no time flat. And 7 of them are guys! My beat up clunker has been in the slow lane followed by my 16 awesome friends! So how is it that this witty, stay-at-home dad, wonderful husband and awesome artist garnishes so much popularity so quickly? Simple! He looks awesome with no shirt! That and he is a witty, stay-at-home dad, wonderful husband and awesome artist. If you don’t read The Blue Sloth, you should. I think I need to go exercise…

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Insight #8 Into Understanding Women comes from Knoxville!

Guys spend an enormous amount of time trying to understand women. At some point, you get married and have that ah-ha moment when you realize that really it is impossible to understand women and all those years you wasted trying to understand women you could have been watching football. It is at that moment in time that the man generally quits talking to his wife. It isn’t that he has gained wisdom and come to terms that life will be much happier if you just listen to your woman and respond only with "yes dear" to everything that she says. That’s just a fortunate side effect. He is stunned and depressed into silence over the coming to terms with the quantity of football that was missed during his hapless pursuit.

18 Insights into Understanding Women – What they Say When We’re Not Around (worksafe but some adult themes in the insights). Continue reading Insight #8 Into Understanding Women comes from Knoxville!

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Happy 4th of July

West Park Baptist Church Fireworks

Yesterday we celebrated America. Yes, we celebrate the 4th of July on the 3rd of July each year as West Park Baptist Church puts on their Celebrate America fireworks display. Each year I juggle for the crowd. This year the church could not contact me because Cingular/AT&T has my (865) 382-3080 number not working correctly. So they went searching the Internet for me. Hmmm. I am who I am but I also post creative writing and humor on the Internet that I would probably be more candid about in person. Always takes me back a bit when someone says, "I saw your blog." I always feel like responding, "Cool. Do you still like me?" Guess I need to re-read why I blog.

This year I was fortunate enough to have 2 other jugglers join me. They are exceptionally skilled and we were able to jump right into passing clubs including passing around volunteers despite having not juggled together for the better part of a year! They have such potential! I would really enjoy juggling with them on a regular basis and pushing the limits of our skills. Of course, life gets in the way but we still have these great moments.

The children had a blast on the inflatable toys. I enjoyed the juggling but still feel like I didn’t give the other jugglers enough lime light. Fire was tossed! Tommy was in charge of Molly the girl magnet. Molly did not enjoy the fireworks but got through them. Noah and Phillip found similarly aged friends and enjoyed having free run of the festival. Everyone had a blast! Pun intended.

Passing Time Passing Clubs

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Twitter SOS

I’m looking over my recent Twitter messages and I see " Lost in the mountains about 16 hours ago". I imagine the 911 call would go like this:
Me: A friend is lost in the mountains.
911: Which mountains.
Me: I don’t know. We need to notify the rescue squad.
911: How do you know he is missing.
Me: I saw it on the Internet.
911: Sir, you cannot believe everything you read on the Internet. If he is lost in the mountains, how did he get a message on th e Internet?
Me: Bearnet duh! He used his phone!
911: See, he’s not lost in the mountains. Everybody knows that cell phones don’t work in the mountains!
Me: Good point.