Category: Of Being Dad
Fatherly posts.
The Magic is Gone
One of the thrills of the single digits is raiding my desk. Often I come down to find my organized chaos in a disarray. To Amy and Evan my clutter is their treasure trove, as it should be, so I try to keep it child friendly. I fidget with my magic from time to time. My nickel to dimes trick currently lives on my desk in a ziplock bag so the money doesn’t accidentally get spent. I found the ziplock open. The nickles and dimes are accounted for but a critical piece of the trick has gone missing. Nevermind…I’m stupid. This reminds me of the time I purchased my first rainbow rod. I was in Disney World and the magician at the magic shoppe performed the trick so well that I understood exactly what to do. I purchased my own. I was so excited that back the hotel I pulled the wand from its container and tossed the instructions aside. I had enough prop magic to understand how these worked. I did exactly like the performer from the magic shoppe and my heart wrenched from my chest as I immediately broke the wand! The result of my actions had produce an outcome unlike anything the magician had done. It was totally unexpected and nothing I did seemed to fix it. That is, until I read the instructions and laughed myself to tears. So, the nickel and dime trick…it’s kinda like that.
And I thank you!
Thanksgiving Holiday
In the United States, today is a day of thanks. I believe most Americans probably do not know the roots of Thanksgiving. Wikipedia is very thorough discussing United States Thanksgiving as well as Thanksgiving in Canada, Grenada, and the Netherlands. See also History News Network’s The Truth About Thanksgiving Is that the Debunkers Are Wrong and Top 10 Myths About Thanksgiving. Note: I have not fact checked the History News Network links. From Encyclopedia Britannica Online:
[An] annual national holiday in the United States and Canada celebrating the harvest and other blessings of the past year. Americans generally believe that their Thanksgiving is modeled on a 1621 harvest feast shared by the English colonists (Pilgrims) of Plymouth and the Wampanoag Indians. The American holiday is particularly rich in legend and symbolism.
Plymouth’s Thanksgiving began with a few colonists going out "fowling," possibly for turkeys but more probably for the easier prey of geese and ducks, since they "in one day killed as much as…served the company almost a week." Next, 90 or so Wampanoag made a surprise appearance at the settlement’s gate, doubtlessly unnerving the 50 or so colonists. Nevertheless, over the next few days the two groups socialized without incident. The Wampanoag contributed venison to the feast, which included the fowl and probably fish, eels, shellfish, stews, vegetables, and beer. Since Plymouth had few buildings and manufactured goods, most people ate outside while sitting on the ground or on barrels with plates on their laps. The men fired guns, ran races, and drank liquor, struggling to speak in broken English and Wampanoag. This was a rather disorderly affair, but it sealed a treaty between the two groups that lasted until King Philip’s War (1675–76), in which hundreds of colonists and thousands of Indians lost their lives.
[Source, Encyclopedia Britannic Online, History & Society::Thanksgiving]
I am thankful!
I am thankful for my wonderful family, the joy they bring, the laughter they elicit, the challenges they give me to grow, and their support for my non-traditional career choice. I am thankful for having great clients, some who have gone out of their way to keep me in work, during these economically trying times. I am thankful for all my wonderful friends in real life and online. I am thankful for having met Jason Jarrett on Seesmic and whose podcasts, along with his wife, Karen, have really helped me move closer to sustained happiness and away from the Five Poisons (greed, anger, ignorance, arrogance, and doubt). I am particularly thankful for my wonderful wife who has supported my insanity when she would have been justified to turn tail and run screaming, who can make me laugh with just a look, who makes my heart flutter just thinking about her, and who has pushed me to be a better person than I ever thought possible. I could type the rest of the day simply about the thanks I could attribute to Cathy alone not to mention the numerous people and things I have yet to mention. So thank you all! And I give thanks for this wonderful life of mine along with all its challenges.
For laughs
Don’t forget today is the day to watch the WKRP Turkeys Away video.
I’m heating Knoxville
I want a Christmas tree. Not the kind with pine needles but the kind you find in a submarine that tells you which hatches are open. With the beautiful weather we have been experiencing, our windows open during the day. The nights are a little to chilly. Of late, the heater has been turned on to combat the cold, but much to my chagrin, at least one window seems to remain open each night. If you have noticed slightly warmer days in Knoxville, you can thank my family and my elevated electric bill.
Dad of the Year!
I just stressed one of my children out so bad he threw up. Topic? Grades. Very effective technique to end a discussion. Have to give him points there!
Of Being Dad – Do what you say
One of my mantras is "Say what you are going to do then do what you say." A child never forgets. If you promise a child you will do something, do it! Our calendars says that the movie Up is released on DVD today. When we saw Up in the theaters, I promised Amy she and I would go see the 3-D version as a father/daughter date. Life got in the way. The movie came and went. And today, she reminded me that I failed to deliver on that promise. Not a good feeling.
Of Being Dad
I just took Sarah’s temperature, 96.8. I think put my hand to her forehead and it was disturbingly hot! My chin dropped, her eyes rolled, and she raised the hair straightener…
Clot II – Return of the Nosebleed
Producer: Amy
Lead role: Amy
Supporting cast: Dad
Clot summary: At 2:30am, 7 year old girl will erupt from bed with nose gushing blood leaving small drip on favorite pink pillow and a bit of a puddle on the sheets. She will try to deal with the problem herself by sitting on the toilet (lid down) and rocking in a half daze to make sure that blood drips cover as much of the wooden, where linoleum was before the dogs tore it up, bathroom floor as possible. Only when nose bleed subsides will she wander downstairs to rouse the sleeping father who will don his bio-hazard suit and begin to console the weary child…
Planned releases: Rumor has it that Colt III – Revenge of the O Positive is in production and scheduled for an early release.
From the mouths of babes
I dropped the milk. The cap popped off and poured all over the floor.
Me: "DAMMIT!"
Evan, 4 years old: "Dad said dammit."
Mom: * gives Dad eyeballs *
Amy, 7 years old: "Moooom! Evan said dammit!"
Evan: "No, Dad said dammit."
Amy: "Don’t say dammit."
Noah, 13 years old: "Evan, don’t say that. It’s a dirty word."
Evan: "No! Dammit. Dammitdammitdammitdamitdamitdamitdamtdatmdaaaaammmmmmmit!"
Mom: covering her face in towels to hide her laughter.
Dad: hiding in the fridge unable to breath laughing.
Uncle already! I get the message. Mouth meet soap.
From the mouths of babes
Moments after I posted Dad Fail, Evan walked up to me with a question.
Evan, 4 years old: "Dad, why do you always say…" He bent over at the waist at a 45 degree angle with his arms hanging straight down and in a deepened gruff voice, "crap crap crap crap crap crap crap…"
It just went on and on but in the end, it turned out he was repeating a noise from the Nintendo DS Mario game.
Please excuse the screwed up aspect ratio on the video but I did that in haste.
Dad Fail
Nothing specific here. I’m just not feeling like a very good father today.
Life without a microwave
My family seems fairly convinced that prior to microwaves, all food was served cold.
From the mouths of babes
Amy, 7 years old: "I’m not going in my room because Sarah is asleep in there."
Me: "Sarah isn’t in the house."
Amy: "Then what’s that big lump in the bed?"
Me: "Personally, I wouldn’t call my mother a big lump."
What was that great sucking noise?
That whoosh you heard this morning was air rushing into the vacuum of my checking account as each child left for school today with check in hand. It wasn’t until a few days ago when I watched the opening sequence of The Jetson’s Movie with the children that I really came to appreciate that daily moment George has with 16 year old daughter Judy as he rides the conveyor belt out of the house and she holds her hand out for some cash, the rest of which Jane gets.
From the mouths of babes
Evan, 4 years old: "Dad, can you make me some chips?"
Me, noting that it is 5:20pm: "No."
Evan, softening voice, tilting head, and putting on droopy eyes: "Please make me some chips."
Me: "No, I’m working. You have to let me finish my work so that I can make dinner. NO no no."
Evan: "Okay. But please."
Me: "I’ll be right up. Just let me make this one blog post."
