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How to express discontent

Our indoor cat is fairly tolerant. The litter box can be down right foul and she still uses it. Last night my pillow was marked by the cat. This morning the dog bed was marked by the cat. A pair clean pants was marked by the cat. And now, the couch marked by the cat. Perhaps she was expressing her discontent that someone had thrown trash into her litter box.

Today I learned that I can punt a 30 yard field goal and have the football land on its feet. Perhaps I was expressing my discontent over an expression of discontent.

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Don’t Do Business With Jack Butturini

Don’t do business with Jack Butturini of Martial Arts America or any other karate studio/instructor that requires you to sign a 3 year contract. Think about the length of time you are asking your child to commit to a specific interest! My 12 year old has spent nearly ¼ of his life practicing karate two and three times a week. Interests wane for children. A responsible parent should encourage the child to explore different interests, and yes, a responsible parent should encourage commitment but within reason.

My son started taking karate in the summer of 2005 (earliest post). He is burned out and hasn’t gone to a single lesson for the past 3 months. He achieved his black belt and is done. He lost his motivation before the black belt testing but showed great resolve in completing the task he had begun and I found that both honorable and mature.

Today I asked Jack Butturini to absolve me of the remaining time on our contract as I find spending $175 a month to receive no services in return a little ludicrous. His studio has moved 3 times since we started with Martial Arts America (formerly Jack Butturini Karate) each time becoming further away and more inconvenient and he is now preparing for a move to his fifth building. One of the moves was damage control to remove his name from the studio after a party at the Butturini household was busted with minors allegedly being provided alcohol by the adults (see also and commentary at Dr. Helen). While others badmouthed him, I stood up for his character and the philosophies the school taught. People were unquestionably released from contracts but we stuck with him. Today, as he laid his inability to release me from a contract on the shoulders of the owner of a billing company (SEP) which will have me dishing out another $1925 for no services rendered, I decided I could no longer give the same character reference. As such, I officially retract any supportive commentary I have given Jack Butturini and Martial Arts America.

I also admonish the karate industry itself as a thieving, conniving, bunch of unscrupulous bloodsuckers who under the guise of "character development" seek to empty your wallets in contracts and testing fees. I make that statement after talking to parents of students in a variety of karate studios around town all of which ultimately seem more interested in selling uniforms, testing fees, and locking you into a monthly fee and contract comparable to leasing a car than they are in your child’s development as a martial artist.

I think karate and the other martial arts are wonderful for children. I think it develops discipline, agility, grace, balance, and muscles. I do not think parents should be baited into a long term serious economic commitment by stringing a child along for 30, 60 or 90 days then dashing their hopes "unless mommy and daddy sign this piece of paper." If you cannot find a studio with shorter commitments such as quarterly or monthly, then give up on karate and do something longer lasting such as Boy Scouts. Now if you excuse me, I have to go close a bank account and prepare to be sued. [Update: Readers request clarification of this statement. That was snarky. Although I considered it for one angry moment, I would not close that account.]

Update: Paula is happy with Eun’s Martial Arts Center, 11110 Kingston Pke, Knoxville, TN (865) 675-2255 who offers 1 year contracts.

Update: Stormare Mackee recommends Wheeler’s Karate in Powell off of exit 112 who has 6 month contracts at roughly $80 per month.

Update: To be more clear on the figures, Noah has not attended a class for 3 months, 3 x $175 = $525, so the total I will end up paying out is $2450 to not attend his school and this is why you should never attend a single day at any studio which requires a long term contract. If you get rooked into a trial period, the child will be hurt; see paula’s comment: "…The kid was devastated…"

Update: Be sure to read Toni McSorley’s comment! Sounds like a school doing the right thing!

Update: I received an email asking if my statement that "I have to go close a bank account and prepare to be sued" meant I don’t plan on honoring my contract with Jack Butturini. To clarify, that was a snarky comment made in jest. I admit I considered it but doing so would be against my nature. I asked the billing company to move the bill date from the 20th to the 5th of the month. They increased my bill from $175 to $190(They adjusted it back down to $175), that account is open, and as long as the IRS has not seized it, they’ll get their hard earned money. There is a medical clause which applies to my son that allows exiting of the contract but based on Jack Butturini’s comments I really don’t expect him to be open to that. My motive of this post? Simply to warn other parents to be cautious of placing their young children into such lengthy contracts. Think about the last time you joined a gym and later found yourself paying monthly fees and not going. This is the same thing.

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Tonight’s Stalls

Tonight we began enforcing school time bedtimes to get everyone acclimated to the changes coming next week. Tommy has a "get up" time rather than a bedtime; he’s really on his own. Sarah will probably sneak Breaking Dawn in bed. Noah pulled a complete evasion by shooting off to a friend’s house for a sleep over. Amy fought hers hard jumping from bed to bed, having tantrums, refusals, screaming, and tearing up her sisters room decor. Evan pulled the "I gotta poop" stall and enhanced it with the "I need a bandaid" the moment he hit the crib. He turned on alligator tears for added affect but only scored about a 60 second delay with that one as opposed to a 20 minute delay from potential poo.

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Call the writers, my script has blank pages!

Being "only human" is perhaps the hardest part of being human. We are prone to error. We are a reactive bunch despite intellectually knowing that we would be better served as a responsive organism. Stress and chaos induces triggers to ingrained habits at the most inopportune times. This is dadhood…3 steps forward, 4 steps back. The noise rose, multiple bodies tried to defy the laws of physics and occupy the same space at the same time, a pet yelped, and I brought shock and awe when I should have used please and thank you. Way to go daddy-o. Calgon take me away! (Someone should make a scotch and name it Calgon.)

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State of Me

On the brink of lunacy. The stress right now is beyond description. My golden plan for this year has fallen to pieces. We were supposed to take a right at the last fork in the river which would have led to calm waters. One of my boats has sunk and now we are in cascading rapids and fighting the current to keep from barreling over the waterfall’s edge. We devoured most of our remaining rations at the last camp and our dry bag with our wallets washed out of the boat on the last class 5 rapid which doesn’t matter because who knows when we will see another trading post! Is everyone wearing their life jackets?

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From the mouths of babes

Evan, 3 years old: "Bye-bye Daddy!"
Dad:"Bye-bye."
Evan:"Thank you Daddy."
Dad:"You’re welcome. I love you!"
Evan:"I love you too Daddy"

These exchanges make me melt. Evan’s speech has inflections, pauses, and energy that we take for granted. His words say, "I have mastery of this language but I am still learning." I love to see a child grow!

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Afternoon Torment – A glimpse into my day

I spent the morning banging on the keys on my keyboard taking stress breaks to jot a few words here and abuse Twitter (Twhirl makes it a bit too easy to use Twitter as a chatroom). I had a couple of posts I wrote several days ago scheduled for today so it probably looks like I blogged all day. I made great progress before the crack of dawn and through early morning. About lunch time I had to address the monkeys on my back. See, they’ve been getting fat and are weighing heavy without my permission.

One of the monkeys and I are fighting over whether or not the food was deserved, and, in the meantime, he’s cramming it down like the crops will run out tomorrow! I call him Chubs along with some words I won’t print here. He wants me to spend a couple of hours documenting the food to prove ownership. I cannot take that time from my clients so I delay the documentation until tomorrow and start pounding keys.

Another monkey taps me on the shoulder and explains that the commitment he made to me cannot be honored because he is changing the rules. That tune plays out to eight grand a year so it’s painful tap on the shoulder. There is an opportunity to get that monkey to stick to his commitment but it will require phone calls, emails, online chats, and, you guessed it, paperwork and documentation.

I am back to pounding keys to make my clients happy. They happen to be the ones who provide food for my monkeys. At 3:40pm, one of my monkeys decides that I should take action by 4:00pm or else I’d receive a hefty food penalty. I feed that monkey! And decide to make good use of my time. On the same trip, I drop 90 gallons of clothing and toy donations at Goodwill. (three 30 gallon trash bags of stuff = 90 gallons) I also drop by the grocery to make sure my family has dinner. And PetSmart since the dog food ran out. One of the monkeys burp. No! He belches!

I make it home by 5pm to return to coding at a panic’d rate. May I code until my fingers fall off!

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Seeking Miracles – Mythical Babysitter

Friday Tommy has Freshman orientation. We have a ton of paperwork to get done before and during orientation. I have yet to see the campus. If I can arrange a babysitter for 12 hours on Friday for a 3 year old, 6 year old and two German Shepherds, I can accompany Tommy and Cathy on the orientation. We have never used a babysitter other than relatives. Exactly how does one go about getting someone to come to your house and deal with your screaming children for twelve hours?

In other miracles, I kindly request the Tennessee Lottery Corporation to select my numbers. Yes, after hearing about Russ’s doorman, I bought a ticket for tonight’s Powerball but I purchased it with ad revenue from TNLotteryResults.com.