Me: "Whoa!"
Amy: "What was that?"
Me: "I almost fell off the roof."
Amy, calmly: "Well, that wouldn’t be good. We don’t want a broken finger AND a broken leg."
Category: Family
Happenings in a 5 child, 2 adult household.
From the mouths of babes
Evan, 5 years old, has religious debate: "It’s kinda weird."
Amy, 8 years old: "What do you mean?"
Evan: "Well, Jesus. How did he create himself?"
My Family Needs a Bus
Volkswagen is bringing back the microbus!
It’s powered by an electric motor and uses an iPad to control the entertainment system, climate control and other functions. Volkswagen said the Bulli can go up to 186.4 miles on a single battery charge. That’s far, considering that the Nissan Leaf is rated at 73 miles on a charge by the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency. The Bulli can go up to 87 miles per hour.
[Source, MSNBC, Hippies rejoice! VW unveils new version of microbus]
From the mouths of babes
Wife, texting: "What’s your plan?"
Me, texting back: "Homegirls!"
Wife, texting: "Wear a condom."
Thank you Apple. Your autocorrect on "Homebound" has either gotten me in serious trouble or given me a hall pass.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
I placed the ladder from the 2nd floor to a ledge above the downstairs landing effectively giving the staircase a ceiling with a narrow opening for travel from downstairs to upstairs.
What I said, "Watch out for your head!"
What I heard: *bonk!*
That’ll be one more trip to Godiva today.
The Next Weekend Project – Bathroom
When I bought my house, my father said, "Congratulations, you now have something to do every weekend for the rest of your life." And so it began. Although the clubhouse still requires a roof, floor, windows and a door, timing has prompted us to begin the upstairs bathroom remodel. More than a decade ago, I started the downstairs bathroom remodel and it remains in limbo. If this goes poorly, my family will be living in a hotel.
18 hours of ice
So in the past 18 hours:
- My wife couldn’t get off our street due to ice
- Our friend managed to get onto our cove returning our son 11pmish but couldn’t get out
- My neighbor had to use 4 wheel drive to escape the ice
- The postman slid into a neighbor’s yard
- My father-in-law had difficulty leaving the street
- My 17 year old daughter slid her car into our retaining wall and had to climb out the passenger side
- My 17 year old daughter took our van to pick the 5 year old up from school
Waiting with bated breath to hear that the 5 year old makes it home safely and that the van survives.
Oh, and btw, secondary roads in Knoxville are still precarious. This is why schools get canceled.
Groceries and the Snopocalypse
I get a giggle out of Knoxville’s typical overreaction to bad weather. We use a gallon of milk every day or two so I’m often buying milk regardless of weather. When the forecast is doom and gloom the milk and bread shelves are barren. Coincidentally, our pantry ran empty in sync with a predicted 2-5 inches of snow so Cathy and I joined in the madness at the grocery. After spending $150 on essentials and a few day’s meals, we arrived home to hungry children only to realize we hadn’t purchased anything for a quick meal for that night!
So, after getting the droopy, "we’re hungry" eyes from the children last night, I got the same thing from the dogs this morning. Apparently in our effort to feed the humans, we failed to notice the dogs were scrapping bottom in their food supply too. So, now to brave the snow covered roads before tonight’s ice storm comes to get to the pet store for dog chow and a rat (hungry snake too).
Tl;dr: On Sunday, we bought meals for Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday and neglected to bring home dinner for that night and failed to buy dog food.
I am the gas fairy, goo goo g’joob
When I notice the van running low on petrol (gasoline), I attempt to secretly refill the tank so that Cathy is frequently surprised with a full tank of gas. Yesterday she found herself stranded at the mall because the van refused to start. She claims she was out in the cold for an hour and a half. I arrived and after some futzing with the van the engine roared albeit roughly and with a warning light. Eventually we found our way to Autozone whose computer reported that the MAF/MAP sensor was overloaded. Great, sensor replacement time. Wait a minute! Hadn’t seen this before? Oh… yes. I walked out the door to the van, removed the gas cap, and replaced the gas cap, the warning light faded away, and the engine ran smooth. See, in modern vehicles, the fuel system is often pressurized so if the gas cap is not sealed well, like it’s crooked, then the engine has problems getting fuel.
n.b. The gas fairy does indeed sound like a walrus.
Tl;dr The van wouldn’t start leaving Cathy was stuck in the cold for an hour and a half because I put the gas cap on crooked.
From the mouths of babes – my Cats in the Cradle moment
Evan, 5 years old: "Dad, you don’t play much. You work a lot."
Weekend Project – Day 26
Drip rail done. Step 17 of 27 complete. Next roof then windows and doors, fireplace and flooring.
For the 2nd movie, wait through the dull beginning to see children painting.
Of Being Dad – C cells
When I was 14, I was using mnemonics to memorize the color bands on resistors. Today I learned my 14 year old son doesn’t know what a C cell battery is.
Weekend Project – Day 25
I had hoped to have the clubhouse finished by Christmas. We are so close! I have a new obstacle; One of the dogs has taken to chewing the extension cords. I lost a 100′ extension cord that had served me well for 20 years. And yesterday, I lost a 50′ extension cord that I had used once. Looks like I’m going to a totally 18v rechargeable workshop.
We are now officially done with step 16 of 27. Count Amy’s wardrobe changes.
And a brief night time attempt that failed to accomplish anything.
Of Being Dad – Where I explain life
This morning I had the occasion to explain life to my 20 year old:
You eat, sleep, shit, shower, contribute to society, and play. Live a simple, honest life. Basically, follow the 12 points of the Scout Law and you’ll be happy.
Weekend Project – Day 24
