My daughter just passed her driving test. She’s licensed to drive sans parent! Congrats Sarah!
Category: Family
Happenings in a 5 child, 2 adult household.
From the mouths of babes
Evan, 4.5 years old: "Dad. Can we buy a gold fish?"
Dad, thinking a gold fish is not difficult to care for: "I suppose. What made you want a gold fish?"
Evan: "I want to eat it."
Dad, realizing this isn’t about watching the wrong tv shows: "Oh! You want gold fish snacks."
From the mouths of babes
Amy, 7.5 years: "Evan’s got a bloody nose!"
Evan, 4.5 years: "Dad! My nose is bleeding!"
Evan: "Oh, it’s just a boogie."
Annnd they’re off! (to a bad start)
Sarah has a portfolio review today near Nashville for a summer art program where she would get to live at a university and work with some very talented people. This is very important which is why I cringed when I saw Cathy’s tweet:
Why is the teenager dressed like a clown for her portfolio review? [Source, Twitter, @cathymccaughan]
After a grueling day yesterday, I failed to do the standard road checks last night. This morning as the girls were walking out the door, I found a nail in a tire. The same nail I found in the same tire weeks ago and forgot about. No problem! I could plug it in minutes only I was out of plugs. 30 minutes later, I had purchased plugs, discovered McDonald’s at Northshore and Pellissippi still has free air, fixed the tire myself, signed a conversation with an old friend, and had two very upset women driving to Nashville. Good luck Sarah!
Updating the score
Visitor: Mrs. Frisby – 2
Home: Me – 1
Game over. I win.
From the mouths of babes
Evan, 4.5: "I want a baloney sandwich with no crust and cut in the shape of a triangle."
Amy’s Christmas Present
Amy wants a puppy for Christmas but we already have two large German Shepherds so I’m getting her this instead:
Picture borrowed from Picture is Unrelated without permission.
From the mouths of babes
Evan has been reluctant to give up his pacifier, bop, at night. Last night he slept without it! Today he is a little crabby and just walked through the house with it so I bargained it away from him.
Dad: "Evan. I want you to say oral fixation.
Evan, 4.5 years old: "Oral fixation."
Dad: "Good. Now I want you to go tell Mom, ‘I have an oral fixation.’"
Evan, yelling through the house: "Mom! Dad has an oral fixation!"
How ’bout them knockers?
We had the pleasure of actually getting out of the house recently and participating in, gasp, an adult party! No this wasn’t an Eyes Wide Shut thing. It just wasn’t at Chuckie Cheese and no one had to be reminded to go to the bathroom. This was the party with some very fascinating people. At one point, one of the guests had a moment of recognition and recalled working with Cathy.
What he said: "The last time I saw you, you were breastfeeding your youngest daughter." (read more)
What I heard: "I’ve seen your wife’s boobs! NiiiiIIICce!"
Science!
As I held infant Amy, rocking her to sleep, I’d talk to her and tell her how much I looked forward to having conversations together. You know the joke: We spend the first part of their lives teaching them how to talk and the rest of their lives trying to get them to shut up. As I held infant Evan, rocking him to sleep, I’d have the same discussion. Eventually they did learn to talk and we’ve had some fascinating conversations.
Today Amy, 7 years old, asked, "What is radioactivity? Is it bad?" So I proceeded to talk to Amy about radio waves, the visual spectrum, light, ear drums, we drew an atom, and a water molecule. She listened and questioned and conjectured. That was fun!
Parenting Tip #423: Use a tape recorder to record a minute of your infant’s sounds every week. Their noises change from week to week and you will enjoy listening to the tape when they are older. Also, they love to hear their own noises so that tape in a Playskool tape player (vintage? Okay.. get a digital recorder) is good for about 20 minutes of babysitting or so I am told. This was some advice from a friend that I failed to follow with some regrets.
Evil Child
It’s as if Evan can detect that I’m nearing my breaking point so he’s going to extra effort to try to push me over the edge.
From the mouths of babes
Dad: "Have a good day!"
Noah, walking to the door: "Will do."
Dad, noting that Noah is wearing a thin long sleeve shirt and no jacket: "Stay warm."
Noah: "I hope so."
Dad: "You do understand that staying warm has less to do with hope and more to do with attiring yourself appropriately in layers, right?"
Noah, continuing to walk to the bus stop: "Yup."
This feels familiar almost like an 8th grade winter ritual.
If you’re gonna to be dumb, you gotta be tough. [Source]
Dear Dharma and Evan…
Dharma, I know you are a dog and I recognize that your brain may have a short circuit or two so let spell this out for you. Pooping in the walking path is not allowed! You are very funny and obviously have figured my gait out perfectly because your landmines are batting 1000. See if your doggie mind can read my human mind because the mental image I have right now is of a cold, outdoor kennel. Molly knows where to poop in this yard. Follow her!
Evan, I know you are four years old…four and a half to be fair…and the antique, crank out windows in this house have a particularly rewarding feeling to their almost steampunk mechanical opening action. However, when the temperatures at night are dropping to -1.6°C*, sleeping with the window open is inadvisable and does not lend to a friendly electric bill. If this behavior continues, I will have to increase your rent to offset the cost of heating this house. Oh, and you may catch a cold.
*Temperature conversion provided by Onlineconversion.com.
Doug’s Mantras
File this under things I thought I’d never say.
Clothing belongs in one of three places: on your body, the laundry, or folded up and put away.
From the mouths of babes
Evan, 4.5 years old seeing the food I just prepared: "Eggs!"
Me: "Do you want toast with your eggs?"
Evan: "Yeah!! What’s toast?"
