Grrrr. Curklunk Koochewga chewga blat mmmmmgre clackidda clackidda curchunka chunka. That’s the sound of this in the in-sink-erator (aka garbage disposal).
Category: Daily Life
Ramblings, often stream of conscious, journaling the events of my life.
Forced Child Labor
I know they rather be playing video games or watching tv. Today I wrangled Noah into helping me. He won one of those new Playstation2s that are thin and sleek. The old, bulky Playstation2 will become a communal gaming system in the living room. Noah would much rather be playing his new system but I forced him to come downstairs. and showed him how to pull wire through the ceiling. Then we fished it up through the wall to his bedroom where I showed him how to connect the wire to a RJ45 in the same face plate as his cable jack. We talked about wiring then came downstairs to learn how to crimple a plug onto the other end of the wire. Then we learned what a switch is used for and where the Internet connection comes into our house. Although Noah was good company, it didn’t really peak his interest until I showed him how we could plug the a wire from his jack into the back of his new Playstation so that he could play online. See, the old style Playstations did not have a network jack built-in and we never purchased the newwork adapter. Noah lit up! (And can say he wired his own room for the Internet)
Because I’m a man
There comes a time everyday in a man’s life where he has to stop and ask himself, "Have I done anything to aggrivate my wife today? Should I?" Mine came a few minutes ago as I snickered and revelled at how fun a little demolition would be today. I wised up quickly and decided that I should stay focused on the project at hand which happens to be some cleaning so that I can actually get to the project at hand. However, something had to be done with the stupid energy that was built-up in preparation to do some demolition. As we know, energy must conserved so when stupid energy is generated, stupid energy must be used. So, as I ask outloud, "What’s this switch do?" I quickly remember that most of my home computer network profoundly sits on a single circuit that is connected to a light switch beside the garage door. I guess the tape keeping the switch in the on position should have been a clue. Doh.
From the mouths of babes
Dinner date with a woman without children
Woohoo! Cathy and I have a date tonight! The grandparents are watching all the children. So what are our plans? Christmas shopping! (after using the gift certificate to P.F. Chang’s that I got for my birthday of course)
Update: I also thought that no restaurant in Knoxville took reservations. P.F. Chang’s will actually take reservations up to a month in advance! The wait was way too long so our evening started with dropping Sarah off for her Church party, shopping, snuck in a dinner at Mimi’s Cafe, more shopping, picking up Sarah, and returning home. It was a fantastic evening.
Schools Closed Today
As I drove Sarah to school this morning, I did my morning torture and forced her to listen to NPR. Once again, we found ourselves stunned to hear the announcement of school closings. Sarah contained her excitement and disappointment but I still say she sat up straight in her seat at the prospect. I guess we live in the wrong county.
| School | Status |
|---|---|
| Campbell County | Closed |
| Christian Acad./Campbell | Closed |
| Claiborne County | Closed |
| Crossville Christian School | Closed |
| Cumberland County | Closed |
| Fentress County | Closed |
| Grainger County | Opening 1 hour late |
| Hancock County | Closed |
| J. Frank White Acad. | Closed |
| Morgan County | Opening 2 hours late |
| Oneida | Closed |
| Scott County | Closed |
| Sevier County | Closed |
| Tri-State Christian Acad. | Closed |
Whodda thunk!? Closing information provided by WBIR.
From the mouths of babes
Dad: "Did they mention anything at your school about yesterday being Pearl Harbor day?"
Sarah, 13: "They mentioned it."
Finish one, then start one
I know. I haven’t finished a project yet but I just could not resist the urge to run a circular saw through the deck! What’s going on here? I’m building a cat house under the deck. Cold days are upon us.
Next time, hide the evidence
If you can stomach the sight of blood, this (graphic) is what I woke up to the other morning.
Master sales technique – the disconnect
Nothing like being at the beginning of a sales call and having your cell phone beep then turn off…
Children Leak
The process of making a child is messy. It involves fluids and cleanup. The process of birthing a child is anything but tidy. It should be no surprise that children, who begin in mess, continue in mess. But, the little ones are so adorable. Their cuteness overflows even as they make that first itty bitty poop. You coo and awe at the babe’s first tiny pitch black blob on its buttocks. Then the frustration begins because instead of simply falling off into the diaper you have to pull out the industrial cleaners and heavy duty chemicals to remove this two square centimeter blob of tar on your baby’s butt. This really should serve as a warning as to what is to come.
People without children have different views on bodily fluids. Their lives are sanitary. Their houses adorn with glass and sharp edges. I know. I was once a person without children. Pre-children, bodily fluids are something that should be private. Even drunks are expected to neatly pray to the porcelain god and clean up their own mess. A parent has a different stature. When a child glazes over, the parent will smoothly rise to the occasion and sprint to the child only to cup their hands in front of the child’s face as an unnatural sea of split pea soup flows from the child’s mouth with the parent never stuttering, stammering or losing a beat in their conversation. The friend simply pauses to ask, "Can I get you a priest?"
This morning I groggily enter the bathroom, dazedly flip the light, and as I stand there in the middle of a necessary morning ritual I glance at the sink to realize that either:
- somebody performed surgery in our bathroom last night
- we need to call the Ghostbusters because something evil is bubbling out of our sink
- Jack Nicholson is in the house
- Noah had a nose bleed
Most people think of nose bleeds as these things kids get on the soccer field. A few drops of blood drip from the hose, the child panics, and the mother frets over getting the stain out of the white uniform. When Noah has a nose bleed we consider calling the blood bank for either a deposit or withdrawal. He had one of these once in the CVS drugstore parking lot and cars were pulling over to ask if we needed an ambulance! Granted, once or twice we have taken him to the emergency room because the bleed was so bad. Clots will erupt from his nose that are so large you think a piece of brain fell out.
Panic? No. I shake it off. I simply prepare myself for the bloody hand prints on the wall. The stains on the floor. The pools in the bedsheets. Turns out Noah did well! Only one minor drop on the sheets. Nothing on his clothes. He actually made it to the bathroom and mostly contained the blood to the sink! For the record, he has had the cauterization and his nose bleeds are far less frequent. But when the weather changes dramatically, and the moon is full, I can guarantee there will be blood in this house.
Time to Pimp My Wife
Go here and click the picture of Amy. Please vote for her.
Writing Help Requested – Kanji!
From the mouths of babes
Dad: "Sarah, what do you want for Christmas?"
Sarah: "uh. I dunno."
Dad: "Well, that’s what you’ll get."
It is so hard to be thirteen.
Hello Tumorites!
I’ve been AtomicTumorlached!
Er, a hello post to the throng is customary isn’t it?
