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IR pain in the S

You know, I used to be the model citizen. I kept immaculate records. Had a petty cash box in the house and an account in Quicken for balancing the petty cash. I tracked every expenditure and literally knew how much money I had down to the penny. Ok, that was a little Monk but I never missed or was late on a bill, I kept balances on my credit cards and always paid at least double the minimum, and I planned my taxes such that my return would be close to zero. I always filed early or on time. When my first business along with my first marriage collapsed, I slipped. I lost the will to do much of anything. When tax season came around my affairs were in such a confused state that I needed an accountant to straighten things out. Instead I simply didn’t file. The following year I had my act back together but assumed that since I didn’t file the previous year, I couldn’t file the consecutive year (a wrong assumption!). That was an expensive choice! And one I took a lesson from "always file even if the numbers are wrong or you can’t pay" As it turns out, had I filed those years I would have received some much needed relief both times. Now, the penalties on that first year alone will have me in a bind for the next couple of decades.

I’m back on the bandwagon. I don’t have a petty cash fund setup in my accounting software but order has been restored to the accounting side of my life. I finished my taxes on March 28 but waited to e-file until this Monday which was a mistake. So far my e-file has been rejected 3 times. The latest was that my adjusted gross income did not match last year’s return. After a lengthy stay on hold and some investigation, a nice IRS agent informed me that they never received my 2006 return! As it turns out, I tried to e-file last year and apparently was rejected (probably for some similar reasons this year had problems). I suppose in 3-5 years the IRS would have contacted me to explain that they did my 2006 taxes for me and that I owed $xx,xxx dollars. There has to be a better system than this!

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My son needs your comments. Please help him!

My oldest son is doing a class project in ecology. He is writing two posts a week and soliciting comments which he will compile or aggregate into his report. He cannot complete his project without comments. Please take a moment and read his posts. If you are so compelled, please comment on as many as you can. Thank you!

His posts to date:

Please make the comments on Tommy’s blog.

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Dear Government

I feel like for the past month I have given you more time on paperwork than I have given my family and clients. I have dotted Ts and crossed Is, typo’d and corrected, photocopied and triplicated, unearthed ancient hidden documents and proven and proven and proven. Taxes are done and filed. Eldest child’s grants and financial aid applications submitted. Other more personal documents having to do with a long gone past that refuses to fade into obscurity and history have been notarized, witnessed, and mailed. Please. My ink well is dry, my wrists hurt, and my finger tips are numb. I know there is more to come. But please. Allow me to rest. Let Lowry handle it for a bit!

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Filed!

Forgive me Uncle, for I have filled out your forms. Lead me not into audit but deliver a fat check directly into my bank account. Let us pray.

Yeah!

Based on the information you provided, your expected stimulus payment is $xxxx. [Source, Internal Revenue Service (IRS),Economic Stimulus Payment Calculator]

Boo!

The estimated payment amount could be reduced, however, if you have an unpaid tax liability. [Source, Internal Revenue Service (IRS),Economic Stimulus Payment Calculator]

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Gentlemen’s Top Cuts – Grooming for men

Last Saturday I was invited to Gentlemen’s Top Cuts for a blogger haircut and manicure. GTC is a salon for men. Of course, if you told most non-metrosexuals, "there’s a salon in town where you can get a manicure" you’d probably be laughed at, punched, and called derogatory nicknames. Now, tell a man, "the bastard child of Hooter’s and a day spa is open at 7425 Middlebrook Pike" and they’ll come in hordes! Yes, Gentlemen’s Top Cuts combines sexy women, sports, hot wax, trimmers, scissors, shampoo, massage, beer and general pampering in classy environment for men.

GTC drew a lot of criticism and in at least one instance was implied to be a house of ill repute in disguise. Ladies, you have nothing to fear! I can assure you that men at GTC are just as safe as women are at a woman’s salon. I personally was trying to understand the nature of a more personal service one of the other bloggers was scheduled to sample. It baffled me. Then it was suggested that I try it. Well now, what’s better than a free haircut and manicure? Why, a free haircut, manicure, and waxing! All done by beautiful women to boot! Now before anyone jumps on the morals bandwagon, there is nothing different between what I did and what ladies do in day spas every day of the week. Trust me! I wish I could have derived some pleasure out of the procedure as that might have taken some of the embarrassment away (the room was quite cold!). By the way, it is a "procedure," requiring the ladies doing the work to be licensed for waxing. To imply that it was anything more, would be to imply that the "Hello!" my doctor gave me on my 35th birthday was something more than it was. (that was standard procedure at 35 wasn’t it? I mean, you guys had that too right?)

As seen in the Andy Griffin show, the barber shop has always been a sanctuary for men. I grew up using barber shops (and getting lousy haircuts) but I use a stylist now. A little off the top pleaseAs a child, I always thought it funny to walk into a barber shop and see a man pickup a magazine and sit down in the chair. Then from behind the chair the first thing the barber would do is hand the gentleman the current issue of Playboy which was then concealed by Popular Mechanics or whatever magazine he had picked up. Of course, not all men were as discreet. And this was not unique to small town Cary, North Carolina. I witnessed similar behaviors in New Orleans as well. I always wondered why we didn’t just have topless women cutting the hair. Now that would be a haircut!

[Source, Reality Me, I don’t need a haircut but I’d sure enjoy my visit!]

Gentlemen’s Top Cuts is not topless but it is 18 and older. If you are 21 or older, you can have a free beer with your appointment. Men deserve a haven where we can relax and be pampered. Now we have one! Read more at Gentlemen’s Top Cuts’ blog or visit their website. GTC is classy and a welcome addition to Knoxville!

Others who attended the blogger preview were Say Uncle, Frank Murphy (and son), and Modern Redneck. We shared many laughs!

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New York Times Pwns Bloggers

Let’s knock out some buzz words: new media, blogger, msm, social media, old media. The future of the New York Times, and other traditional papers, is shaky at the moment.

…its financial performance is lagging. NYT Co.’s stock is trading at about 40, down 25% from its high of 53.80 in mid-2002…The Wall Street consensus is that the company will report net income of $290 million for 2004, down 4% from the preceding year and a good 35% below the $445 million it netted in the media industry boom year of 2001. Revenues have plateaued at $3 billion, give or take a few hundred million, for five years running. [Source, BusinessWeek, The Future Of The New York Times]

With newspaper circulations down, the newspaper companies are in a panic and looking for someone to blame. The finger most frequently gets pointed at bloggers, citizen journalists who write without the impedance of an editor nor the accountability of a professional journalist and who are able to get the news out (accurate or not) in seconds from the scene as eye witnesses. Blaming bloggers is simply a red herring.

The root problems go back to the late 1940s, when the percentage of Americans reading newspapers began to drop. But for years the U.S. population was growing so much that circulation kept rising and then, after 1970, remained stable. That changed in 1990 when circulation began to decline in absolute numbers. [Source, The State of the News Media 2004]

1940 predates the modern Internet and 1990 predates the blogging boom. But since The New York Times is convinced that bloggers are partially responsible for subscription decline (and that may very well be accurate!), they devised a way to get some of that traffic back…they published an article about how detrimental blogging is to health! They even attributed a 41 year old’s heart attack to blogging. Now that should scare the competition away! Bloggers jumped on this story! Writers like my wife, Michael Silence, and Dr. Helen all chimed in and linked to the story. It spread like wildfire through the blogosphere with each blogger adding their opinion and interesting commentary. Now I respect each of these bloggers and enjoyed reading their take on the NYT‘s article, but I’m going to call it like I see it. In a stroke of marketing genius, you were link baited by The New York Times! Which I’d say is quite an honor!

Is blogging stressful? I suppose if you were relying on it for your income it would be. But if you are a hobbyist who posts between tasks rather than taking smoke breaks (which is how I blog), there should be no stress in this diversion. I do find blogging stressful when I have deadlines because I know my clients read my blog and each post could look like I am playing instead of working (which is not the case). So for me, the stress is in wanting to post but not give the wrong impression to those people to whom I have professional obligations.

Others who took the NYT’s bait:

Whew! The list goes on. I just can’t keep up.

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Just a little off the top

I’ll be joining some blogging friends at Gentlemen’s Top Cuts tomorrow. I’ll also meet a blogger for the first time but I won’t be watching his procedure. Bet I hear it though!

Bloggers attending tomorrow:

Update: Between 10 A.M. and 1 P.M. Saturday and the GTC girls will give anyone a free car wash.

7425 Middlebrook Pike | Knoxville, TN 37909
get directions »

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Now my son DOES need a haircut!

In talking about Gentlemen’s Top Cuts in my post I don’t need a haircut but I’d sure enjoy my visit!, I failed to mention how they are conveniently located within walking distance of my son’s middle school. Now Noah NEEDS a haircut constantly. His hair grows like a weed. Noah is also a blogger! Judging by the porn Noah likes to surf (yes, he got busted and no he doesn’t do it anymore or at least he covers his footprints better) and how much longer it takes him to bathe now-a-days, I think Noah would very much enjoy GTC. Noah would probably even write a review and link to the GTC blog. Tommy on the other hand would not set foot in the building. I tried to get him to go to Hooter’s for lunch once and he said he’d stay in the car.

Would I seriously let Noah get his hair cut there? Sure! It is not a strip club. The site doesn’t say children are not allowed (now many spas do not allow children so that may change). And his friends would be all kinds of jealous! It’s just a barber shop with pretty barbers. After poking around the blog for a bit, I can tell they really are catering to men so I’m a little less sure. I spoke to GTC and they are family friendly. I doubt they’ll do a lot of family business. Now, Hooter’s does a huge family business (believe it or not!).

Update: Cathy points out that barber shops don’t generally offer "twig and berry" waxings. My description of "It’s just a barber shop with pretty barbers." could be a tad off base.

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How to have sex while 5 children are in the house

Someone has finally figured out how to have intimate moments without fear of scaring the minds of your youth by having them accidentally walk in on mom and dad being gross. See this worksafe link for the details. Via BoingBoing.

QSleeper

  • 1.25″ Polycarbonate Bulletproof Plating/Shielding
  • Bio-Chemical Filtered Ventilation
  • Rebreather
  • Control Panel Mode Selection (i.e., Basic System Ops., Intruder Setting, Energy Status, Lock Down, etc.)
  • Cover & Door Actuators w/ Emergency Release
  • One way see through head cover (reflective mirror on 2 sides and front)
  • Safety Features (Proximity Sensor, O2 Sensor, Smoke Det., Motion Det. Ect,)
  • Emergency Communication system (Cellular, Short-wave Radio, CB ect.)
  • Audio Amplifier (Amplify sound from out side unit)
  • Air/Water Tight Sealing
  • External Override Key Pad & Remote Control
  • Battery Backup Power
  • Toiletry system

Source, QSleeper

Please remember the vasectomy campaign!