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18 hours of ice

So in the past 18 hours:

  • My wife couldn’t get off our street due to ice
  • Our friend managed to get onto our cove returning our son 11pmish but couldn’t get out
  • My neighbor had to use 4 wheel drive to escape the ice
  • The postman slid into a neighbor’s yard
  • My father-in-law had difficulty leaving the street
  • My 17 year old daughter slid her car into our retaining wall and had to climb out the passenger side
  • My 17 year old daughter took our van to pick the 5 year old up from school

Waiting with bated breath to hear that the 5 year old makes it home safely and that the van survives.

Oh, and btw, secondary roads in Knoxville are still precarious. This is why schools get canceled.

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I am the gas fairy, goo goo g’joob

When I notice the van running low on petrol (gasoline), I attempt to secretly refill the tank so that Cathy is frequently surprised with a full tank of gas. Yesterday she found herself stranded at the mall because the van refused to start. She claims she was out in the cold for an hour and a half. I arrived and after some futzing with the van the engine roared albeit roughly and with a warning light. Eventually we found our way to Autozone whose computer reported that the MAF/MAP sensor was overloaded. Great, sensor replacement time. Wait a minute! Hadn’t seen this before? Oh… yes. I walked out the door to the van, removed the gas cap, and replaced the gas cap, the warning light faded away, and the engine ran smooth. See, in modern vehicles, the fuel system is often pressurized so if the gas cap is not sealed well, like it’s crooked, then the engine has problems getting fuel.

n.b. The gas fairy does indeed sound like a walrus.

Tl;dr The van wouldn’t start leaving Cathy was stuck in the cold for an hour and a half because I put the gas cap on crooked.

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The Megabus has Arrived in Knoxville!

We recently took 5 of our 7 member family to Washington DC for the Rally to Restore Sanity. The round trip plan tickets were roughly $250 per person bringing just the airline cost to $1200. Had we brought the two older boys, the cost would have been $1700.

Knoxville now has a new travel service. Megabus! Tickets are on sale now and service starts December 15th. I just ran the cost of a trip identical to our flight to DC and it came to $27 for 7 people. That’s not $27 per person per way. That’s $27 round trip for the entire family! $7 from Knoxville to DC and $20 from DC to Knoxville. That’s a savings of $1670! The trip time doubles from 5 hours to 10 hours each direction but you don’t have to get naked, irradiated or groped to ride the bus. Plus the double-decker bus has free wifi for the entire trip! You could work or play the entire 10 hours.

Megabus.com is the first, low-cost, express bus service to offer city-to-city travel for as low as $1 via the Internet. Since launching in April 2006, megabus.com has served more than 4 million passengers throughout 28 major cities in the Midwest and Northeast.

Our luxury double deckers offer free wi-fi, panoramic windows and a green alternative way to travel. Meticulously maintained with professional drivers at the wheel, when you travel with us, you will be riding in comfort and confidence. We provide low-cost and reliable bus services serving 28 cities from two hubs at New York and Chicago. We offer the highest level of comfort and safety and look forward to serving you!

[Source, megabus.com, About Megabus]

Imagine the possibilities! Date night in DC. Out of town Tweet up in DC (can your virtual friends stand you IRL for 20 hours?). Holiday shopping in New York City (adds 5 hours each way…30 hour round trip). Business meetings on the bus that culminate in a night on the town in DC. Oh, I’m excited!

See more at Knoxnews.com.

UPDATE: Look for more of these services in a town near you. Here’s Chinatown Bus covering the Northeast and New Century Travel which may just be a marketing site or affiliate of Chinatown Bus.

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Jeep Top- $572, Being Told to Wait Until Summer- Priceless

It’s 38°F/3.3°C right now. Conversion by OnlineConversion.com.

My 1995 Jeep Wrangler, purchased November 1994, has the original spice softtop on it. Well, what remains of that top. Some of it is held together with duct tape. The driver’s side window has the zipper completely ripped out and is held half closed with zip ties. I keep expecting to be driving down the road and have the top just disintegrate around me.

Why haven’t I replaced this horrible top yet? It’s not procrastination. There are some areas of my life that I may appear to be a spendthrift, but there are others that I’m just cheap (usually revolving around myself) and frankly, despite appearances, the 15 year old top still serves its purpose.

Yesterday I gave in and decided to see if I could pay someone to replace the top. He explained the replacement top would be $572 plus $150 labor to install it. The labor will require 2 hours of work by 2 people and an ambient temperature of 72°F/22.2°C. I wonder if a junk yard has a Jeep with a hard top sitting around somewhere…

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Vroom Vrrroom

Wahoo! The Jeep is working again. See. I do my own brakes. The job is an hour or two tops. But this time I misplaced my Haynes manual, and forgetting that Autozone has repair manuals online for free, I grabbed some torque settings off a forum and ran with them. Buuut I grabbed the number 41 and decided the brake caliper bolts should be 41 foot-pounds but nooooo 41 newton-meters is what the forum was referencing. And 41 ft-lb is much more torque than the 30 ft-lbs that I should have been using. So at about 35 ft-lbs the bolt turned to butter and snapped. Ahhh! Brought me back to my freshman engineering classes at the University of Tennessee. We had this cool machine that would stretch metal bars until they thinned in the middle and snapped. Somehow we were supposed to associate numbers with the snapping but mostly I stared in awe at the great coolness. Anyhow, this is how the Jeep has looked for much of the past week:

My daughter is very pleased that I will no longer be commandeering her car! I’m sure it would have been Karate Kid uncool to have mom dropping the senior off at high school holding cars keys and a parking pass.

Update: Ride into client’s office went well today. The Jeep even stopped without having to run it into anything! I did catch a check engine light for a bit on the Interstate but after stopping at Starbucks the Jeep seems happier.

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Jeep Unburied

5 children, 5 schools, 1 car. Working from home certainly lends to making our lives function well. This week I find our schedule so unmanageable that we must have a second vehicle working. Knoxville public transportation fails to deliver a reasonable solution. This means getting the Jeep or the motorcycle roadworthy. Glancing down the driveway I’m embarrassed to see the Jeep with boards and pvc pipe piled on the roof, kites and other toys stacked on the hood, rusting bicycles lean against the bumper, a bent ladder waiting to be recycled rests against its side, and the whole mess is half covered in a blue tarp. What an eye sore!

Last night I unburied the Jeep. The odds that this vehicle will run again without major repairs is slim. But I shall try. In my mind, I have committed to converting this Jeep to an EV if I cannot get it running. I find thinking about Sarah driving to school for her senior year in a vehicle that doesn’t require gas someone amusing. For now, the Jeep is uncovered and the driveway looks a little better. Hopefully, I can find a key to the Jeep today and tomorrow I can try to jump start it.

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TN Continues to Make Dumb Laws

Michael Silence notes that Sen. Jim Tracy is trying to pass legislation that would make it illegal to read or send text messages while driving. These nanny state laws treat symptoms and not problems. My comment on No Silence Here:

We don’t need a nanny state! We need better education. IF we would teach people how to use T-9 then they could text without looking at the phone! er, I mean if we taught people the importance of not texting behind the wheel. You know..give a man a fish..well if he were eating fish while driving that would probably be bad too. Maybe we need a law to ban eating fish behind the wheel. Yes! Definitely. And fishing licenses. When the police pull cars over they should check for fishing licenses because he might be planning on catching a fish to eat while driving and we need to make sure that doesn’t happen. That’s important. Important enough that we need to set up road blocks and check everyone’s fishing licenses!! But then people might send text messages warning about the road blocks. No, we outlawed text messaging behind the wheel so that would never happen of course neither would the eating fish behind the wheel because we outlawed that too so why do we need the road blocks? You know, the radio stations will pick up on these quickly. We should outlaw radios in the cars. Wait a minute, wasn’t there a time when legislatures feared car radios would cause too many accidents and deaths. What happened to outlawing radios? Wait another minute. At least 2 people died in his district while text messaging behind the wheel. I wonder how many died tuning their radio?

Things we need to outlaw to keep people alive:
spiders, aids, diving, earthquakes, buildings, sports, suicide (wait, that’s already illegal), alcohol, lightning, steps, cold, heat, cancer, tall places, bees, surgery, and sharks.
http://i28.tinypic.com/5v0v1d.jpg

The problem with these types of laws is that it does nothing to prevent the happening but only punishes if and when it is caught. To educate people to pull over, have a passenger do the texting, or just plain ignore the phone is a better use to time and tax dollars than more laws:

Republican Sen. Mae Beavers of Mt. Juliet opposed the bill because of provisions in the current law.
"I really don’t see the need for the bill," she said. "I’ve said time after time, I don’t think we can legislate against stupidity."

Furthermore, driving is a skill and not everyone has the same abilities. That is not a statement to justify one person texting behind the wheel while another doesn’t but to point out the people who are crossing the center line while texting may just as well be doing the same thing while reading a billboard, talking to a passenger, tuning the radio, or daydreaming. We have all done stupid things while driving. I bet everyone at one point has turned the wrong way down a one way street. I did in Memphis as a teenager. It scared me silly to see 3 lanes of lunch hour traffic barreling down on me. A law preventing me from going the wrong way on a one way street would have done nothing to prevent me from making that silly mistake..wait a minute..it is against the law to drive the wrong way on a one way street….oh.

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Infants Playing in the Street

Nubbin Ridge is an old farm road turned into a two lane speedway. I recently had the pleasure of being told stories by a man who grew up in the area of baling hay on the Stooksbury farm which owned much of the land near Wallace Road (forgive me if I got the family name wrong). He spoke of the rolling land and forests that are long gone. Sprawl and shortsighted urban planning has turned Nubbin Ridge into a shortcut for locals avoiding congestion on Northshore Drive and Westland Drive. Nubbin Ridge still has those fun dips that if you want to gamble that there’s no cars or animals on the other side, and you hit the hill fast enough, it tickles your stomach like a roller coaster. Here’s the rub. It’s not a farm anymore. Most of the land has been partialed out and turned to residential neighborhoods. Children walk these roads, and ride their bikes because our urban planners have failed to connect the neighborhoods with sidewalks or greenway trails.

Today I crested a hill and my heart fell into my stomach. 50 yards ahead of me I saw a dog on the double yellow line. But no! It was not a dog; the living creature was an infant, a tiny infant who looked like she’d just learned to waddle on two legs. She moved from the double yellow, dead center of the road, to smack dab in the middle of the left lane and stood still. She was not in my lane but in the lane of oncoming traffic just this side of one of those tickle hills. In the distance I saw a car approaching. I stopped the van, turned on the flashers, and walked to the child trying not to scare her. I put my arms out, she opened her arms, and jumped into mine. As I carried her toward her home, the oncoming car zingged past my van without slowing down. A car in my lane approached and without hesitating to wonder why my van blocked its lane, zipped around my stationary vehicle. After handing the child to its mother I started back to my car. Two more vehicles rapidly approached showing no sign of slowing so I just put up my hand and stepped into the road forcing them to stop (and hopefully but doubtfully think), got in the van, and made a mental note to drive much slower on Nubbin Ridge from now on.

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Snow Day!

The Weather

Yesterday started off beautiful and almost spring like but the forecast said we were at the high for the day and the children were just getting off to school. As the high schooler left in a t-shirt and no jacket I suggested that she was making a mistake.

Our routine

Cathy and I have a routine that makes having 5 children in 5 schools work without anyone losing their sanity. I’m a morning person and Cathy is a night owl. So I get the duty of waking the children, making sure they are ready for school, and seeing them off. Sometimes this cuts into my morning productivity so at night when Cathy is getting the children bathed and ready for bed, I am often downstairs typing on my computer in the evening. I drive the children in the mornings; Cathy picks them up in the afternoons. I cook the dinners; Cathy does the dishes and laundry and lays out the children’s stuff for the next day. (Yes, the children help and have chores..to listen to the children, they have so many more chores than their friends…)

The Drive In

Yesterday, I took Evan to pre-school. As we drove, Spring turned to rain. Rain became mixed with snow. Evan arrived at school 18 minutes late (9:18). I left noting that Weigel’s had gas at $1.629 per gallon. I was on fumes but thought I’d buy at Sam’s. I forgot and drove right past it because by now the mix of snow and rain had turned completely into large, fluffy snowflakes. It was beautiful!

The Cancellations

At 11:00am, the pre-school calls to say that Knox County Schools is considering canceling and wants to get a jump on it. Cathy is caught off guard having only downed half her daily dose of caffeine so I’m off to pickup Evan. [Update: I am reminded that Cathy couldn’t drive because Evan hid her driver’s license..which we just found today.] I test the road in front of our house and it is already slick. I achieve a 15 foot slide with ease. Noting that I need gas badly, I pull into Weigel’s. The gas has rocketed to $1.779/gallon! I put just a little in and decide to fill up at Sam’s. We are out of milk so I look like a snow panicer as I go in for a gallon. The tertiary roads are a bit scary and the secondary roads are slushy (that’ll become ice!). The primary roads are fairly clear. While picking up Evan, Knox County Schools officially cancels at 12:30 (an hour away) so Cathy and I debate pulling Sarah out early.

Bearden High School Clusterduck

I drive to the high school and the line is already long. The elementary school calls to say some buses cannot get the children and they are asking all parents to come pickup the kids. As I sit in line pointing uphill on Gallaher View Road, the slush compresses and turns to ice under my tires. Each time we nudge forward, my wheels try to spin and slide. The high school makes a royal mistake and instead of having their duty officer directing traffic, he is inside directing parents into the office. See, since school isn’t officially canceled for another 40 minutes, parents still have to walk into the school and check out their children who are on the break of becoming adults. The duty officer and a couple of others should have been directing traffic and someone with a clipboard and a radio should have been letting parents sign their children out from the cars ala drive-thru. They could have done the paperwork as the cars entered the parking lot and radio’d the office to send the child out. That would have prevented road rage, dangerous situations and sped the process along. As it was I ended up parking on the grass and walking into the school to find that the line for the office was about 20 minutes long. At this point, the students would be dismissed in about the same time. Evan has played in the snow in front of the school, shoes wet, socks wet, and pants soaked to the knees. He and I give up on the high school and start driving to the elementary school. Traffic at the high school has backed up onto Kingston Pike and is now interfering with the normal flow of traffic.

Rocky Hill Elementary

Cars are backing up traffic on Morrell Road as they try to either turn into the bus lane or go against traffic to turn into the carpool lane. Why don’t these parents just drive to Northshore and turn left at the CVS? The line is lengthy but no more so than a normal carpool line. You can tell the parents who never drive their children because they keep hopping out of their car to look up the road trying to figure out what is taking so long. The road behind the school has a 90° turn. Snow melt from the tires has covered that corner and traffic has me stop in the turn. When traffic begins to move, the van doesn’t. Oops. After some gentle encouragement, I am moving again but I worry about the cars behind me bouncing off one another as they try to navigate that turn.

Teenage Drivers in the Snow

Sarah calls for the pickup plan while I wait in the elementary school line. I had told her to walk to Downtown West so that I wouldn’t have to fight the high school traffic mess. She and her mother adjust the plan to have her walk to the mall. Sarah gets her boyfriend to drive her to the mall; his father is following behind. She asks if the boyfriend can driver her home. Both his father (whose parents live in our neighborhood) and I firmly say, “NO!” My neighborhood is a bit like an Alpine slide in the winter and is the last to see any road clearing equipment from the city or county. I agree to letting the father, a Philadelphia native, drive her home. Evan is miserable from his cold, wet wait in the car. I drive Amy and Evan home. Sarah arrives a couple of minutes later.

Bearden Middle School

The middle school buses cannot run until all the elementary school students have been bused home. I debate picking Noah up. One phone call later I learn he is already on a bus en route so I take some pictures of the jolly children and dogs enjoying the snow, then I retreat to the basement to do some programming. Telecommuters don’t get snow days.

Conclusion

Knox County Schools made the right choice to wait and see what would happen with the weather. They made a poor choice by not anticipating the rush of parents to the school when it got out that they were debating canceling schools. The schools need the equivalent of an evacuation plan for handling heavy traffic when closures happen. The plan should include traffic direction, separate entrances and exits to the school to avoid congestion, allowing children to use cell phones, and keeping parents in their cars rather than having them exit and go to the office. Here’s how the high school should have worked: The Gallaher Road entrance becomes exit only with a patrol car directing traffic to the south entrance of the school. The Kingston Pike entrance becomes an exit only. This forces all traffic to the Gleason Road entrance with the possibility of congesting traffic on Gleason but takes advantage of being able to create a much longer line of cars on school property in a single file rather than having any merging. Traffic direction has the line of cars S through the ROTC parking lot to maximize the number of cars off the city roads and on the school property. Traffic direction has cars go north beside the stadium, left past the bandroom, north beside the western side of the building, right in front of the school and then immediately left out to Kingston Pike or Gallaher View Road. Students should be allowed to contact their parents by cell phone or text message. If a student says, "my parents are waiting in line" they are dismissed on their honor to the office (not out of school) rather than waiting for contact from the parent to bring them down. Students contacted by cell or called over the intercom convene in the common area until their ride pulls up out front. A parent volunteer, teacher, officer, or other school staff with a radio in hand and a signout clipboard will be positioned far enough down the line to be able to call children out of class such that when the car gets to the front of the school, the student is already there. IDs are checked at the car, signatures taken at the car, and the loadout goes like clockwork. I was in the car for three hours trying to pickup children from schools and I only went to 3 of the 5 schools my children attend. The children really enjoyed the snow! And today is another snow day!

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Barack Obama Encourages Telecommuting

I am a huge advocate of telecommuting. I acknowledge that telecommuting is difficult as the employee has to be very self-disciplined and the management has to let micromanagement go and extend a huge amount of trust in the employee. I think the benefits far outweigh the negatives. Barack Obama sees the benefits to the family in encouraging telecommuting as stated in The White House’s Family Agenda.

Expand Flexible Work Arrangements: Barack Obama and Joe Biden will address this concern by creating a program to inform businesses about the benefits of flexible work schedules for productivity and establishing positive workplaces; helping businesses create flexible work opportunities; and increasing federal incentives for telecommuting. Obama and Biden will also make the federal government a model employer in terms of adopting flexible work schedules and permitting employees to petition to request flexible arrangements. [Source, WhiteHouse.gov,The Agenda-Family]

Be sure to read Duncan Fisher’s summary of Obama’s program and his oration on fatherhood.

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Plan your trip accordingly – bad bridges

Tennessee has 19,838 bridges. 4,101 are deficient. Of those deficient bridges, 2,776 are fully operational while 1,325 are structurally deficient.

The United States has 599,766 bridges. 152,316 are deficient. Of those deficient bridges, 79,792 are fully operational while 72,524 are structurally deficient. See a PDF map of the structurally deficient bridges done by the Bureau of Transportation Statistics. The map is an effort to geocode bridges from the Federal Highway Administration’s National Bridge Inventory (NBI) with data from 2007 except for Kentucky and Pennsylvania which was from 2006. See more information at CleanBeta.

Note: This is the kind of post that my wife hates. She will now have me performing miracles to get from point A to point B without crossing any bridges when we travel.

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Road Rage Haiku

She cut me off bad
I laid down on the horn mad
We screamed, no net gain

My apologies to the horrible driver I chose to engage. You put us in unnecessary danger. My response did nothing but entertain the line workers at the intersection and upset both of us. Certainly we would have behaved differently had there been children in either car. I am not an asshole as I am sure you are not a bitch. I hope we did not know each other prior to this interaction but perhaps we will meet later on better terms.