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Dad says NO…so what

Crystal the Corgi

We are dog sitting this weekend. No, let’s call it like it is. We traded 3 children for one Corgi. Granted, I think the children are more well behaved. This is still a welcomed change of pace for the holiday weekend.

We wake this morning and Crystal has mined the floor so I put Evan on the indoor slide and he watches from the safety of the loft as I clean. Crystal has a special diet so I lock her in Tommy’s room then feed Molly in the kitchen. This is my first moment to use the restroom. Yes, I leave the door open because I have to keep an eye on the pixie and you know the modeling thing.

Here’s a thought for you non-parents. How does toilet training begin? This will make your head reel. The word is modeling. Let me tell you! A dog growling at you during a special moment is nothing as disturbing as a toddler handing you toilet paper! [Source]

I see Evan place his hand on the doorknob to Tommy’s room. "No!" Evil grin. I repeat "No" and even get intellectual offering him an explanation. Click. Squeak. Slam! Ok. The door definitely opened while I looked down. Perhaps he peeked and closed it before Crystal escaped. Then I hear the jingling of her collar against Molly’s metal food bowl.

Does anyone listen to Dad’s lectures of no? The 14 year old went to her first after high school football party then spent the night at a friend’s house. Talk about nerve wrecking for Dad! Please think about Dad saying, "No!"

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More On The Differences Between Men and Women

Men and women see the world differently. Noah has school pictures today.

Cathy: "How did Noah look this morning?"
Me: "I’m pretty sure he went to school."
Cathy: "How did Noah look this morning?"
Me: "I emphasized to him that he really needed to turn in his check for pictures."
Cathy: "How did Noah look this morning?"
Me: "Umm. I know he was wearing clothes."
Cathy: "How did Noah look this morning?"
Me: "I don’t know. Give me a hint!"

Update: Apparently Amy had school pictures yesterday too. Mom is less than thrilled.

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Twitter Ouch

Proxy Error

The proxy server received an invalid response from an upstream server.
The proxy server could not handle the request GET /home.

Reason: Error reading from remote server

Additionally, a 502 Bad Gateway error was encountered while trying to use an ErrorDocument to handle the request.

Growing pains?

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I’ve got a butt!

Uncle Jim has a great song that the children love (and I do too!) called "I’ve Got a Butt" on his Let There Be Fun CD. Go listen to track 8. Hit the XMKids request line at XMFan to get the full song played.

Jim Mayer, aka Uncle Jim, is an award-winning children’s music performer who has been playing children’s music since 2002. The term “Uncle Jim” is not a figurative one; Jim has twenty nieces and nephews and he knows what kids like! [Source]

He’s a Tennessean! Living in Nashville. Now which child needs to join the fanclub?

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Lull Them to Sleep

Evan’s crib lives in our bedroom. It has a nook. So that Cathy and I could watch television we would leave it on when Evan was put in the crib for the night. This way he wouldn’t go from a total black, quiet room to a bright, noisy lighted room. When I noticed him watching the television after I would put him in the crib, and I noted that the programs were sometimes violent, or Ophraish, or foul mouthed comedians, I started to question my parenting.

Having Comcast’s digital cable, I started setting the television to classical music. Of course, Cathy will put the music on the 70s channel when she puts Evan down for naps or sleep. Between the two of us, he’s now being flooded with music that encourages big hair, high libido, and a serious coke habit (have you ever actually watched Fantasia?).

It didn’t occur to me that we had ingrained a ritual into the poor boy’s head until the cable went out today. Evan went down for a nap and complained that the tv was "broke" and demanded his music. What? Use a boom box or radio?! Pshaw!

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8am

The rest of the world is getting into the office about now. I’ve already been through a 3 page Word document of bug fixes. Already this morning, which began at 4:30am, I have coded enough that my head is buzzing. Yes, like a runner’s high, a programmer can get into such a zone that all else disappears. That’s one reason asking a programmer a question can be terribly detrimental. The mental exercise can be strenuous and leave your head throbbing. Anyone that doesn’t like calling the brain a muscle (and no its not a muscle) has never really had to think hard. Your brain can ache after some serious mental hurdles! I need a rest but cannot break the momentum.

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Ridiculously Hard Day Ahead

Today is one of those days where I could really use 4 other people working with me. Oh man, more and more I think I am ready to bring a team together again. Today is terribly important. All the pieces MUST come together just right. One little screwup and my house of cards is going to come crashing down!

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Curiosity Killed The Cat – Be a cat

Marc and Angel have a great explanation of why being curious is a good thing.

  1. You Will Clarify Yourself
  2. You Will Uncover the Truth
  3. You Will Release Your Inner Child
  4. You Will Experience Something Fresh
  5. You Will Increase Your Productivity
  6. You Will Learn More Often
  7. You Will Become More Efficient
  8. You Will Experience a Spice of Variety
  9. You Will Be More Positive
  10. You Will Establish New Relationships

Read the detailed explanations at: Marc and Angel – 10 Reasons
Why You Should Be Curious

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Tell Me What You Like To Read

I have always stated that I blog for my own pleasure but my web logs and stats programs tell me that I also blog for a handful of regular readers. What do you like to see at Reality Me? Do you find posts like No it doesn’t grow on trees to be

  1. repulsive
  2. funny
  3. TMI
  4. a reason to delete my rss feed from your reader
  5. the impetus to call for an intervention and have me hauled off to Lake Shore

Do you like seeing pictures, videos, stories of my past, details of my present, technical writing, the children, audio posts? What floats your boat? I’ll still write for me but I will happily fine tune my writing for you also!

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No it doesn’t grow on trees

Apparently a handful of people think that I have an ATM* shoved up my ass. There is no bank in my rectum and despite your belief that I have done it before, I cannot pull cash out of it. If you insist on probing this yourself, double up on the Crisco, and at least be courteous enough to provide a little reach-around. Thanks!

*Quick semantic discussion. ATM stands for Automated Teller Machine so if you find yourself "getting cash out of the ATM machine" stop! You are either getting cash out of the "ATM" or the "AT Machine." That said "automated" really implies "machine" so even ATM is redundant before people tack the word "machine" to the end turning an ATM into an ATMM "automated teller machine machine." Really we should simply "visit the AT" Of course, I think our Oak Ridge friend would get irritated if people just started walking up to him and poked him on the chest several times only to get annoyed that cash wasn’t flowing out of his ass. I can picture that scene! "Hey AT! Haven’t seen you in a while. Would you mind dropping trou after I play with your nipples? I want to see if there’s anything green between your cheeks."

And why yes, I am in a little bit of a mood today otherwise I would not have published a post that includes the words ass, rectum, probing, Crisco, and reach-around. Thanks for asking! But don’t worry honey, I’ve vented on the Internet so you and the kids don’t have to avoid me today.