Blog

KristyK has posted this fantastic question. I look forward to reading the comments. I wrote a lengthy comment myself and have republished it here:

I love writing. I could do it all day. Just wish it would pay.

I notice that whenever I touch a subject that is tacky (like Sphinterine) or sexual that my readers clam up. I like to imagine they got a giggle but are too embarassed to post a comment and be associated with such material. Granted, my brother posted a "TMI" to the sexual reference linked above.

The subjects I avoid but want to write about are money, sex, and negativity.

I avoid money because my family reads my blog and they hate the lifestyle I’ve chosen so whenever money comes up as an issue family (and friends) immediately shout "why don’t you get a job?" The short answer is because I have a job; it is just not a traditional job. The long answer is that switching to a corporate job after 10 years of consulting just is not that simple. I work night and day and still find time to entertain interviews and market myself to existing and prospective clients.

I would love to write about sex. It is a favorite subject of mine. I could say of lot of interesting things on the subject. However, I think I have stayed in the "family blog" category and fear losing readers if too much sex comes up. I also have this possible misconception in my mind that people reading family blogs are "quality readers" while people looking to read about sex are "horny teens" and/or lessor quality adult readers. Fact is, married people have sex (maybe only once a year give or take but it happens).

Our lives are filled with negativity. Negativity can overwhelm positivity. One angry person in a room full of happy people can quickly change the mood. One happy person in a room full of grouchy people is likely to leave the room unhappy. I read my paper journals and for the most part they are filled with negativity. "This bad thing happened." "I could not get…" At least it is out of my head once it is on paper and that makes me feel good. However, I don’t think people reading my paper journals would "feel good." Our lives are also filled with positive, good things. I would like to write about the negative from a reality perspective but I don’t want people thinking that “because the child support check isn’t arriving on schedule, the mortgage is late, the fridge is empty, the big client refused payment, and no more jobs are lined up” our life is miserable because I think we suck the marrow from life, laugh and enjoy more than your typical home.

Of the three items; negativity, sex, and money, I could, and sometimes do, write about the negative. I truly want to give people more of a look into the challenges we face as a 7 person household with unpredictable cash flow. Obviously I have a post or two about sex. I think readers would be fascinated to follow the ups and downs of a feast or famine lifestyle.

Utlimately, the reason I avoid those 3 topics are employers. Whether my contract relations (new or old) are researching me or if a corporate recruiter is checking me out, the topics and level of revealing information could hinder my opportunity for hire. A blog does not reveal the whole person nor their whole situation. It is a glimpse at their life through a peep hole but I believe readers forget this and assume the blog and the person to be the whole story. Employers should embrace such information when weighing candidates as the blog gives so much more than a resume. But at this level of business maturity, instead of accepting "everyone has flaws," I feel today’s hiring managers would rather keep their blinders on and hire the non-blogger versus taking on the risk exposed by the blogger (be it acknowledging that the hiree has depression issues and might affect performance; or questioning if this journalist will reveal corporate secrets).

This topic is so important to me that I have a page on my blog dedicated to Why I Blog.

I suppose I fear having my character come into question over some satire or by misconstruing my writing. The reality of it is I am who I am. I am happy with who I am. I live honestly and try my best to treat others kindly. I offer my words so you can know me for I have nothing to hide.

If you have a few cycles to burn can you help me figure out if a Dell Dimension XPS T700r can be to a p4 1.5 or p4 2.0? If not, got any recs on a good place to get a new mb and cpu? I have to be away from the puter for the next hour. Thanks.

• Sarah, 13, frustrates me with her attitude but that’s just what teenage girls do.
• Tommy, 16, smells like teen spirit even after a bath (and no, I’m not referring to the song or the deoderant) but teenage boys just smell.
• Noah, 10, is a space cadet but all 10 year old boys have their brains turned off.
• Amy, 4, is having her terrible twos but all children go through this.
• Evan, 14 months, is clingly but he is still a baby and needs coddling (2nd definition! Not first!).
• Cathy, 27, is simply wonderful but if I put anything here I’ll be cut off for a year.
• Doug, 37, has CRS disease but that is because of stress and bad sleep habits.

So when do we quit attributing actions to their ages and just brushing them off? That is not accurate. We are a very consequence based family. Cathy and I put great weight in natural consequences. "if you choose to walk across the gravel in your bare feet rather than slip on shoes, your feet will hurt." When the child is going to learn the lesson for themselves, the lesson sticks more than if it is scolded or yelled into their head. Besides, why create a riff between child and parent when nature is going to handle it? You may bring about a shortterm solution faster or avoid a mess by forcing a child to do something, but having patience and taking time to clean up this mess will have a much more positive impact long term. I know, easier said than done.

Just this week, Tommy started asking everyone to be sure to rinse their dishes before putting in the sink. He has learned on his own that cleaning the dish is more difficult after the food has dried and hardened. That comes from the natural consequence of having to rewash dishes.

So Noah. I fear his absentmindedness is going to hurt him in school badly this year. Seems he has gone from spacey to deep spacey. Just yesterday he gets out of the van, goes to the tailgate, opens it, gets his $200 karate gear (pads) out of the back, sets them down on the ground to close the gate, closes the tailgate, and walks into the house. Hours later, fortunately no rain, Cathy returns from an errand and is agast to see the brand new pads in the yard where weather, animal, child or crook could have put a damper on Noah’s karate lessons. We ask Noah to look in the yard and he just stares in confusion failing to see the pads. 10? I’m thinking daily games that improve memory, concentration and attention to details are in order! Of course, as much as I hate to become one of those adults, I cannot help but think that video games are contributing to the absentmindedness.

I’ve spent 2 solid hours on the phone today.