Month: May 2009
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I believe in magic
Dear Beer Fairy,
I particularly like rich, bold, dark lagers. I’ve been an extra good boy.
Sincerely,
Dougp.s. You don’t happen to be friends with the single malt scotch fairy do you?
p.p.s. Let the coffee fairy know that Juan Valdez is slacking off again.
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Doug’s Mantras
McCaughan’s Law of Solutions:
Ask five different programmers the same thing and you will get five different answers…and they will all be correct.
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Filed under, “Not good foreplay!”
(should have been named Two Tons of Bricks)
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Today’s Programming Advice – Code for the impossible
Always code for the impossible case! The impossible tends to happen surprisingly often. The programming language is irrelevant. Whether you code in C, C++, F#, ColdFusion, PHP, JavaScript, or whatever, conditional statements and case statements should always accommodate the unexpected value.
Right now I am dealing with some code that involves a list of 1 or more items. The actionable part of the code involves clicking on one of the items in the list therefore at least 1 item must exist. Having zero items is impossible because if there were no items then I could not click on the item to start the actionable part of the code. So why waste time coding of the zero items case? This is not the best example since this is a multi-user, client/server web application and the zero case can be created quite simply by having two users pull up the same list and then one user deletes an item before the other. But that answers the question of why waste time coding for the impossible? Because it does happen. My code frequently has conditional statements that end with a default case or a special case that simply outputs "This is impossible. Please contact the administrator." and includes some debugging information. In my career, doing this has saved me hours and hours of debugging time on more than a couple of occasions.
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I’m moving to France!
This probably isn’t safe for work. The New York one has a bit of a disturbing aspect to it. The France one feels more fun.
Thank you Internet!
(Apparently this happens in New York too Seen at Synthtopia)
Update: Jon found an interview on Pitchfork with the co-directors (Taylor Cohen and Otto Arsenault) and stars (Matt and Kim). Don’t forget, France has healthcare!
Update: Some links- Make the Girl Dance MySpace page, Make the Girl Dance blog, and the unofficial Matt and Kim video.
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Of Grasshoppers
Student: All I ever wanted was to be great.
Master: Niagara Falls is great. So is a drop of dew on a single blade of grass. -
Sounds like…embarrassing
Noah has done so well with his phone that I was considering canceling the insurance plan on it (which is $4.95/mth with a $50 deductible..can you say ripoff? I knew you could!) So naturally, despite placing it in a ziplock bag, Noah soaked his phone at Dollywood. In this day and age, with five children including socially active teens, cell phones have moved beyond convenient toys to necessary family organizing tools. The rule of the house is that if you lose or damage your phone before your scheduled upgrade, you get a clunker from the boneyard in the garage. Noah ended up with an antique Siemens (phones are now BenQ). After complaining about the pixelated screen, he tried to pronounce the company name:
Noah: "Sigh sigh mens"
I interrupt, "It’s pronounced sea mens."
Noah: chuckles
Me: "Yeah, like that."How could I forget about the funny homophones of middle school! Ew, better not say homophone around Noah.
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Juggling for the Elementary School
I had a great day of juggling this morning. Since Clown Day was canceled, the school invited me to participate in their Field Day event so I had an opportunity to juggle for each of the 1st grade classes which mean 20 or so students each time (about 20 minutes) for about 5 classes. The juggling went pretty well without too many horrid mistakes. Amy even did the hand game in which she stands with both feet in one of my hands and balances above my head.
The finish to the day was a bit of bummer. The principal had okay’d juggling fire out of the baseball field but nix’d it when I went home to have lunch. I returned and the teachers had gathered the students but I had nothing to show them. I’d run through most of my tricks, gags, and jokes between the classes. With all the students gathered together outside I really didn’t have anything they had not already seen. So I pulled out the diabolo and tried to reproduce the Clement Hall days. See, in college I juggle a lot. I mean an absurd amount of juggling. And I was fit, toned, and on my game. I once threw a diabolo higher than 8 stories and caught it on a string. I know this because a friend who lived on the 8th floor said he kept seeing this thing fly past his window and he looked down to see me in the court yard catching it. Today wasn’t so good. It went high but got missed several times. Anxious to give them a little more, I pulled out the crystal balls. I never perform with the crystal balls because my contact juggling is super sloppy and when trying to juggling 5 crystal balls I tend to scatter them more than catch them. And that’s what happened today. So the close act was rubber chickens. I must do better next year. The laser light juggling spectacular will be ready ready READY! Moral of the story? Quit while you’re ahead. When they canceled fire I should have said we were done for the day. But like Jonathan Livingston Seagull, a true artist has to always go for the next level.
Now my swing shift Tuesday begins. Between now and midnight I’m programming with one break for an errand around dinner.
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Fm gb
Mobile post sent by djuggler using Utterli.
Replies.
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Of Grasshoppers
Student: Where’s my Mr. Miyagi?
Master: Look in the Yellow Pages under "psychologist" and expect to pay $150 an hour. You don’t really think you can get sage advice for honey-do’s and car washes, do you?! -
Another Rotten Mother’s Day
Once upon a time, I was actually a romantic, thoughtful guy. These past years I have failed miserably to take care of my wife on holidays. Today was no different. I basically ignored Mother’s Day in favor of working. This will come back to haunt me one day. At least the children pulled through this year and acknowledged her.
