My son could be this guy in the near future!
Category: Noah
How do I help him?
His TCAPS (standardized testing) scores are through the roof. He doesn’t lack for intelligence. His eyes are fine. But my 11 year old son can stare at something and not see it! No it is better than that. He can kick something and still not find it. This morning he is looking for his tent and he goes in the garage where the tents are stacked. He says, "I found Sarah’s dome tent but I can’t find mine." I look into the garage and from 16 feet away I can see that his tent is directly under Sarah’s tent. I ask him to look again. He kicks his tent as he uses his foot to move Sarah’s. Then he stares down at his tent for a few seconds. Then he looks up at me and declares, "I just don’t know where it is."
This is where television dads have the benefit of a writing staff that has prepared their response. Your first drafts flash through your head almost as quickly as your response comes out of your mouth. Most of the drafts involve words you really don’t want your son to hear. Some are funny but still unspeakable. You try hard to remember the 7 Habits of Highly Successful Dads and resolve yourself to be moderately successful. I chose to tell him "you just kicked your tent" but I couldn’t help but inquire "how did you not see it?" He gave me clue, "I thought it was over there." I think he is predetermining an outcome and convincing himself that is the only possible outcome. As a father I want to steer him on a good path; as a philosopher I have to remember he has to walk his own path; as a stunned bystander, I have to pray that this is just a pre-teen, hormonal phase.
Of course, it prompts my daily reminder to Noah: "You should never do drugs!"
From the mouths of babes
Noah: "Health ended today."
Dad: "Oh? Did you have sex education?"
Noah: "Sorta."
Dad: "Did they talk to you about boy parts and girl parts?"
Noah: "They talked about boy parts. I missed the day they talked about girl parts."
Dad: "Sex education was only two days?!"
I had a blast at the Orchestra!
Let me tell you. Maestro Lucas Richman is cool! I mean he’s just fun to be around. Stand beside him and you just feel better. Hug him and you won’t need your Prozac for a year! Top all that off with an energy on the stage that is captivating to watch. (I did joke with him that I thought there were a couple of times he was just plain having fun and perhaps channeling Jack Black.) Today’s featured performer was Jeffrey Biegel. He’s a pleasure also. He has personally worked with two of my heroes, Pete Fountain and Jerry Louis! To be in the same room with such talent as Maestro Lucas Richman and Jeffrey Biegel is very humbling. To banter with them almost felt like a breach of social protocol but we did get to share some laughs.
I have an official review of my evening at the Knoxville Symphony Orchestra to get from mind and paper to blog post but I think I am a bit too tired to be coherent tonight. If you don’t want to wait, in short, if you don’t make time to go see the Knoxville Symphony Orchestra, you need to make the the time! I can come up with all sorts of reasons to not go-the kids, money, deadlines, blah blah (just excuses!)-, but honestly, what a great way to spend an evening! Details tomorrow (or maybe Saturday).
Bloggers I saw tonight included Frank Murphy (review), Lissa Kay (review), Rich Hailey, Doug and Faye McDaniel, Byron Chesney (his review), Tish, Craig Thomas and Noah Caldwell. Who did I miss? The bloggers had 50 tickets allocated!
Getting Cultured Tonight – How many ways?
Thanks in part to Frank Murphy, Noah and I will be participating in the Knoxville Symphony Orchestra‘s blogger’s night.
Afterwards, thanks to Barry, in response to Cathy, I may be further cultured or drugged or just working.
Noah is particularly interested because of his new found love of percussion. I really hope he gets to interact with some of the percussionists during the post-concert reception. Noah will certainly be the youngest blogger in the crowd but I assure you, he will blog about it! In the realm of "it don’t get smaller than Knoxville" Frank Murphy performs with Einstein Simplified. I was one of the founding members of Einstein Simplified and performed at Manhattan’s for 2 years before life got in the way.
SuperDad
Tonight was the elementary school’s open house. It may have been only the kindergarten open house but the cub scout troop was meeting so there were enough cars at the school that a couple of people parked on the lower branches of some of the trees and a couple of SUVs managed to find some space on the roof. Cathy went early and helped sell year books. I caravaned the children around town as we picked up Sarah, Sarah’s friend, and Tommy from high school activities. We ended up at McDonald’s having dinner with some cub scout friends of ours. In due time, we dropped Molly and Tommy off at the house with hopes Tommy would do some chores and the rest of us deploy to the school. Look out! Chaos coming!
We had a wonderful time, saw some friends, had pleasant chats with teachers, Sarah fell chasing Evan and bled all over the new kindergarten rug, and Amy was able to show off her school. As we came to a close, I noticed the volunteer form horribly empty so I inquired and put our names down. In that time, already-over-volunteered-Cathy stared on in dread as I swiped another bit of time out of her life with a few strokes of a #2 pencil. While she was entranced with my unsanctioned scheduling, Sarah and Evan departed, followed shortly by Amy. As the ever confident Amy found herself alone in the hallway, she took it upon herself to walk out the front of the school, through the dark parking lot, and off to the playground. The parents got a frowny face tonight. Sarah and Evan took one hall of the school. Cathy raced to the gym. A couple of scout dads joined in the search with one commenting "my child is missing too…but he’s old enough to walk home!" The teacher joined the posse. Amy was found on the playground and as she was walked into the school, her name blared across the school intercom so that all visitors became away that the McCaughans lose their children.
Didn’t Noah go with us? Anyone seen Noah?
More On The Differences Between Men and Women
Men and women see the world differently. Noah has school pictures today.
Cathy: "How did Noah look this morning?"
Me: "I’m pretty sure he went to school."
Cathy: "How did Noah look this morning?"
Me: "I emphasized to him that he really needed to turn in his check for pictures."
Cathy: "How did Noah look this morning?"
Me: "Umm. I know he was wearing clothes."
Cathy: "How did Noah look this morning?"
Me: "I don’t know. Give me a hint!"
Update: Apparently Amy had school pictures yesterday too. Mom is less than thrilled.
From the mouths of babes
Dad: "What do you want for dinner?"
Noah: "Steak"
Tommy: "Meat"
Mom: "Whatever you want dear"
Sarah: "Mac and cheese"
Amy: "Not steak"
Evan: "Da da!"
We had pizza.
From the mouths of babes
Noah asks: "Can our a/c stay broken forever?"
Of Being Dad
I love being a dad! You get say great things like:
If you are holding your penis in your hand, you’d better be thinking about what you are doing!
From the mouths of babes
We found a calculator in Staples with the numbers in a circle like on an old rotary telephone.
Dad: "Old phones used to have this dial, like a wheel, and you would stick your finger in the hole with the number you wanted then dial it around. That’s why we call it dialing a telephone number.
Noah: "So like was there an arrow or something so that once the number appeared on the screen you could make the call?"
My Rock Star
I just took a little one on one time with Noah to teach him the notes on a guitar, the strings, and how to tune. We used a keyboard to drive home the explanation for when to skip a fret and when not to skip a fret for the correct note. He was a good study. In the end, he put the guitar down because he didn’t want it out of tune when he took it to the grandparent’s house to play with Uncle Danny! That Unc is really important to these children!
I love my family!
From the mouths of babes
As Noah is preparing to walk out the door for a week of church camp, one of his friends appears at the door.
Noah: "I’m going to church camp for 5 weeks."
From the mouths of babes
Upon returning home from getting Amy to Zoocamp, I see a large bowl of Cool Ranch Doritos on the kitchen table. Noah comes in and snatches one.
Dad: "What did you eat for breakfast?"
Noah: "A cup of milk."
Noah’s eating habits become worse everyday. I battle in my head different ways of changing his diet because I feel strongly his diet is having a significant impact on his well being. Right now though, I am allowing that path of least resistance on the premise that he will eventually start trying vegetables and more interesting foods of his own accord. I fear I am wrong.
