We are nearing the end of the weekend project (ie. Amy’s birthday present from June 10th of last year). As we put on the finishing touches, carpenter bees have moved in to try to dismantle the club house. I’ve skipped earth friendly methods and gone straight to chemicals. I shall be victorious!
Category: Of Being Dad
Fatherly posts.
From the mouths of babes
iPhone: *barrrring bringg*
Amy, 8 years old: "What’s our family’s email address?"
Me: "Um. What do you need it for?"
Amy: "I want to comment on videos on Youtube."
Me: "Uh. We need to talk…"
What does a teenage girl do to a car?
Or maybe the question should be "what doesn’t a teenage girl do to a car?" Because the answer would be "maintenance."
Today the inside of the Jeep was drenched. I look at the Neon parked in the driveway and recognize that I have not inspected it in quite some time. My simple instruction to the teenage driver was "Make sure it has oil and tell me when any problems arise." I once drove it an eon ago to find that the speedometer worked…sometimes. So this teenage driver was guessing how fast she was going. How she avoided tickets was beyond me. With a little research, I learned it was a common problem among the Dodge Neon’s and the fix was to remove the instrument panel and resolder the connections. She claims to have had no problems with the speedometer after that but the fact she never told me about it in the first place should have been a clue about how future problems would be addressed (er, ignored).
First thing I noticed this morning? No oil! 2nd? Check engine light. The inside of the car is filthy. The trunk/boot is full of what appears to be half Goodwill, a quarter stuff sent home from the grandparents, and 1/4 teen’s stuff. A positive! The tires look great. A negative. The transmission slips (you’d think she’d mention that one). Oh, and the windshield wipers are worthless. But it did perform well on the Interstate.
I suppose if I were a better father, she and I would have spent many a weekend together performing maintenance on the car. Teen driver 2 approaches so I’ll have a chance to do better.
Update 29-March: Changed the oil today. Discovered the transmission had no fluid whatsoever. Not even sure how the car was moving.
The Next Weekend Project – Bathroom
When I bought my house, my father said, "Congratulations, you now have something to do every weekend for the rest of your life." And so it began. Although the clubhouse still requires a roof, floor, windows and a door, timing has prompted us to begin the upstairs bathroom remodel. More than a decade ago, I started the downstairs bathroom remodel and it remains in limbo. If this goes poorly, my family will be living in a hotel.
18 hours of ice
So in the past 18 hours:
- My wife couldn’t get off our street due to ice
- Our friend managed to get onto our cove returning our son 11pmish but couldn’t get out
- My neighbor had to use 4 wheel drive to escape the ice
- The postman slid into a neighbor’s yard
- My father-in-law had difficulty leaving the street
- My 17 year old daughter slid her car into our retaining wall and had to climb out the passenger side
- My 17 year old daughter took our van to pick the 5 year old up from school
Waiting with bated breath to hear that the 5 year old makes it home safely and that the van survives.
Oh, and btw, secondary roads in Knoxville are still precarious. This is why schools get canceled.
Groceries and the Snopocalypse
I get a giggle out of Knoxville’s typical overreaction to bad weather. We use a gallon of milk every day or two so I’m often buying milk regardless of weather. When the forecast is doom and gloom the milk and bread shelves are barren. Coincidentally, our pantry ran empty in sync with a predicted 2-5 inches of snow so Cathy and I joined in the madness at the grocery. After spending $150 on essentials and a few day’s meals, we arrived home to hungry children only to realize we hadn’t purchased anything for a quick meal for that night!
So, after getting the droopy, "we’re hungry" eyes from the children last night, I got the same thing from the dogs this morning. Apparently in our effort to feed the humans, we failed to notice the dogs were scrapping bottom in their food supply too. So, now to brave the snow covered roads before tonight’s ice storm comes to get to the pet store for dog chow and a rat (hungry snake too).
Tl;dr: On Sunday, we bought meals for Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday and neglected to bring home dinner for that night and failed to buy dog food.
From the mouths of babes – my Cats in the Cradle moment
Evan, 5 years old: "Dad, you don’t play much. You work a lot."
Weekend Project – Day 26
Drip rail done. Step 17 of 27 complete. Next roof then windows and doors, fireplace and flooring.
For the 2nd movie, wait through the dull beginning to see children painting.
Of Being Dad – C cells
When I was 14, I was using mnemonics to memorize the color bands on resistors. Today I learned my 14 year old son doesn’t know what a C cell battery is.
Weekend Project – Day 25
I had hoped to have the clubhouse finished by Christmas. We are so close! I have a new obstacle; One of the dogs has taken to chewing the extension cords. I lost a 100′ extension cord that had served me well for 20 years. And yesterday, I lost a 50′ extension cord that I had used once. Looks like I’m going to a totally 18v rechargeable workshop.
We are now officially done with step 16 of 27. Count Amy’s wardrobe changes.
And a brief night time attempt that failed to accomplish anything.
Of Being Dad – Where I explain life
This morning I had the occasion to explain life to my 20 year old:
You eat, sleep, shit, shower, contribute to society, and play. Live a simple, honest life. Basically, follow the 12 points of the Scout Law and you’ll be happy.
Weekend Project – Day 24
Weekend Project – Day 23
Gingerbreading-
And now for 9 minutes of my posterior…with some guest appearances by Amy, Evan, Tommy, our neighbor friend and the dogs.
Of Being Dad
Sometimes getting the children to school on time is not as important as those extra 4.5 minutes under the warm covers.
Doug’s Mantras
"Do as I say, not as I do."
