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How’s life?

Sometimes I want to post intimate details, no not those kind, of my life but to do so would really overstep the bounds of good taste and common sense. I work as an independent consultant. It is a terribly difficult way to live but offers great rewards (otherwise, why do it?). I think people would find the challenges I face intriguing; however, clients relations could be damaged and friends and family would turn up the frequency of the "why don’t you get a real job" question. Psst! Hey Spanky. I’ve got a real job!

We tend to live a feast or famine lifestyle; not much of a middle ground. I know! I’ll write a book. It can be published at a later time when the information will not result in harsh criticisms from those who cannot see the long term benefit of the present day suffering nor will it compromise my relationships with clients and locals. Once upon a time…

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Beating Around the Bush

struck by the Marker Fairystruck by the Marker Fairy

Well, I guess the title of this post is a bit more direct than my wife. See I think there has been some confusion over the Marker Fairy references. During Blogfest I tried to explain to Lissa Kay that the color of the marker holds significance. When two grown adults’ needs fall out of sync, tensions build. You know. If one adult is a morning person and the other is a night owl, it makes communication difficult.

Marker Fairy!Marker Fairy!

Cathy has simply found an interesting way to express her needs. Btw, for those of you letting your minds wander with that squiggle on my back, it is just an ice cream cone; really, it’s an ice cream cone!

I have been meaning to give that explanation since April 21! Now that’s off my chest I wonder if we can keep the green marker off my chest too!

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From the mouths of babes

preparing the sandwich

Upon returning home from getting Amy to Zoocamp, I see a large bowl of Cool Ranch Doritos on the kitchen table. Noah comes in and snatches one.

Dad: "What did you eat for breakfast?"
Noah: "A cup of milk."

Noah’s eating habits become worse everyday. I battle in my head different ways of changing his diet because I feel strongly his diet is having a significant impact on his well being. Right now though, I am allowing that path of least resistance on the premise that he will eventually start trying vegetables and more interesting foods of his own accord. I fear I am wrong.

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Seemed funny at the time

So, when you grab the camera to take a progress picture of your construction downstairs and your wife quips about taking a picture of your anatomy, don’t do it and definitely don’t make it the first picture in the camera because she might just start the pictures downloading on her computer in the kitchen and walk away to take a nap.

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And let the world spin

I need to be working but can’t get to my computer. Instead I build up my stress. By the time, I get to my computer my anxiety will be so high that I will be completely dysfunctional. My sinuses are broken today. Apparently my nose thinks it is a water faucet. I run to the bathroom ever couple of minutes to blow my nose. Between blows the pressure under my eyes builds up to feel like I have been smacked in the face. I could take a decongestant but then I’d sleep the day away.Couple all of this with the dizzy. Yes, the dizzy spells are trying to rear their heads again. Philip has the mola mola; I’ve got a tornado in my head. I think both conditions are stress related.

My family wants to be swimming at the pool today at 2pm. I bet that would dry up my sinuses! I could use some exercise and some sun. I won’t be there. I want to be painting the bedroom walls. I want to be blogging about last night’s Blogfest. I want to be juggling. I want to be finishing my projects. I want to know how I will feed my family next week. I want to be playing with my children. I want to build them a club house, a tree fort and a zip line in the back yard. I want my head to be clear.

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Code Your Own Game!

So Tommy is a World of Warcraft addict. As a programmer, I think my children should know a little bit about coding. I have decided to install Visual Studio Express on their computers and letting them earn computer time by learning about programming. Write Hello World, earn some Youtube time. Write your own game and then play WoW. Actually, I don’t want to set this up as a drudgery so a carrot/reward system won’t work. I am hoping they just find it cool.

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Unmasked

I may have been a huge jackass the other day. It did not come without great guilt. But it did make for a good story!

Did you know that laundry baskets have aerodynamic qualities and that when you angrily throw one down the stairs that the airfoil shape gives it enough lift to smash into your wife’s collectibles?

Noah was going to sleep over with a friend. When they arrived to pick up Noah conversation revealed we were on our way to the store to buy a new laundry basket. In 1977, Billy Joel explained that we all wear masks. We know it. Society has its demands. Scout leaders are supposed to be even tempered and fair to the boys; No one smokes pot except Clinton; And we all drive the speed limit except when no one is looking. Still, we put on our airs, wear the appropriate mask, and try to be Stepford (see also) when in public. Noah’s friend blurts out, "My dad was mad at me once and kicked our laundry basket down the stairs breaking it!" His mother was in shock! Her mask had fallen! So I dropped my mask explaining, "Sounds a lot like how ours broke!" and she relaxed. See, when I threw the basket down the stairs I was angry at Cathy. When I kicked it across the basement shattering the basket, I was angry at myself.

I like not having to wear a mask. Tensions drop and we can enjoy each other’s company so much more. Without a mask, we are truly accepting a person instead of the image we and they think needs to be portrayed. After all, we are all just human and no one is without flaws.

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Morning Frustrations

I planned on being at a client’s office at 7am this morning and skipping lunch so I could get back home for a productive afternoon. However, a nervous stomach and throbbing head kept me in bed. I don’t use an alarm clock but I sure have a snooze alarm. When a 100 pound German Shepherd rolls over on your legs, it is like having an extra feather down quilt thrown over you on a cold, lazy winter Saturday. Molly obviously knew I needed some extra Zzzs.

So, the stomach bug has Cathy too. It’s 9:35am and I have been unable to leave the house. She’s camped out in the water closet, Amy has me cooking cinnamon rolls, and other distractions have kept me chained to these 4 walls.

So, instead of getting anything done, I am pacing the floors and debating just staying home to work on other high priority projects.