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LASIK – just point and shoot!

LASIK@home

Tired of blurry vision? Tired of contacts and glasses? Have you considered LASIK but just don’t like the big price tag? Now there is a solution for you! LASIK@Home! Yes, we are talking about affordable in-home LASIK surgery you can do yourself!

In the past, LASIK surgery was an expensive procedure that could only be performed by skilled professionals in a doctor’s office or eye clinic. Often costing upwards of $1000 per eye and almost never covered by insurance, Laser-Assisted In Situ Keratomileusis (LASIK) was beyond the reach of most Americans. [Source]

Clear vision is a mere four steps away!

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Give Free Hugs – Get Harassed By The Man

You know.. I could see apprehensive people thinking "this perv is looking for a cheap feel" or "what a creative way to get a date" but the guy isn’t doing either. He is genuinely giving love. Watch the video and see the smiles he brings. The joy. The bonding and community. Then, in response, our society tries to take him down. Douse the good. Make a negative from a positive. But there is hope and the community rebounds and gives back what Juan Mann started. The community gives love and where Juan Mann first supported them and brought them up, they in turn help him. It’s a good watch.

Read the story behind the serial hugger Juan Mann.

Juan Mann (pronounced one man) is a play on words, but the hugger insisted his rules included no names, no phone numbers, no relationships and no dates. [Source]

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Kill a programmer – ask them a question

A little disclaimer. My wife is going to take this personally and make it about her. But it’s not about her. Or the kids. It’s about the cat that constantly tries to crawl onto my keyboard. It’s about the incessant phone calls from nasty people. It’s about my mind that wants to wander to finishing projects on the house. It is about emails and computer glitches (right now my linux server doesn’t see the network..that’s an interruption). Client emergencies and angry instant messages. Angst. Yes. It is also about the thuds on the floor. The crying. Little people learning through physics, ye ol’ school of hard knocks. It’s about life’s necessary appointments and cooking dinner. Flooded bathrooms and washing machines.

All that said, a good friend of mine use to keep a piece of paper taped to the wall of his cubicle. It read:

No success at work can compensate for failure in the home.

That said, if I fail at work, I cannot provide for my family. There must be a balance. I will continue to bound up the stairs when I hear a thud following by a painful scream. I will drop everything to answer my wife’s whims. But I must keep a balance whereby work is not hindered. The cat is on notice though. Keep watching the video to see if it continues to land on all fours as I cat-apult it from my desk.

For years I have tried to explain, without success, to various non-programmers that a small interruption costs me 15 minutes of time. "But it will only take a second of your time." That second might be for a phone call, an office joke, move the laundry from the washer to the dryer, a technical question on a non-related project…the topic does not really matter, the interruption is the problem.

Logan Koester of Skin Deep writes about Overcoming Coder’s Block with some excellent advice and references none other than Joel on Software with Just a 60 second distraction can cost a programmer 15 minutes. Once again, I connect with Joel Spolsky very well! If you have a programmer in your life as his/her employer, spouse, or friend, please read this article; it’s the last paragraphs that are important.

Here’s the simple algebra. Let’s say (as the evidence seems to suggest) that if we interrupt a programmer, even for a minute, we’re really blowing away 15 minutes of productivity. For this example, lets put two programmers, Jeff and Mutt, in open cubicles next to each other in a standard Dilbert veal-fattening farm. Mutt can’t remember the name of the Unicode version of the strcpy function. He could look it up, which takes 30 seconds, or he could ask Jeff, which takes 15 seconds. Since he’s sitting right next to Jeff, he asks Jeff. Jeff gets distracted and loses 15 minutes of productivity (to save Mutt 15 seconds).

Now let’s move them into separate offices with walls and doors. Now when Mutt can’t remember the name of that function, he could look it up, which still takes 30 seconds, or he could ask Jeff, which now takes 45 seconds and involves standing up (not an easy task given the average physical fitness of programmers!). So he looks it up. So now Mutt loses 30 seconds of productivity, but we save 15 minutes for Jeff.

[Source]

Every programmer has their magic equation for creative productivity. For instance, I need a warm beverage in hand, my day has to begin early, an uncluttered work environment, a computer that moves as fast as I do, minimal white noise, and a well defined goal.

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Women Need to Understand Internet Porn

hornymanatee.com

The Bathroom Door Rule explains that men look at porn. "If a man has an internet connection, he looks at internet porn. " In their article, "What every woman should know about internet porn," they explain why you might find certain references to bizarre websites on his computer.

This is a simple factof life but if you see something unsettling maybe you should talk to him about it before you make wild assumptions or accusations. Don’t just assume your loved one is a chubby chasing pedophile with an Asian fetish, talk to him. If you see something uncharacteristic of him, confront him on it… [Source]

An online friend of mine commented last night, "my wife was asking me why my porn was 8 months or more old. I told her it had just lost the thrill." He said she replied, "You’re just geting old." So, for my friend, I present a new thrill! The Horny Manatee and its story.

In a line Mr. O’Brien insists was ad-libbed, he mentioned that the voyeur … was watching www.hornymanatee.com. There was only one problem: as of the taping of that show, which concluded at 6:30 p.m., no such site existed. Which presented an immediate quandary for NBC: If a viewer were somehow to acquire the license to use that Internet domain name, then put something inappropriate on the site, the network could potentially be held liable for appearing to promote it.

In a pre-emptive strike inspired as much by the regulations of the Federal Communications Commission as by the laws of comedy, NBC bought the license to hornymanatee.com, for $159, after the taping of the Dec. 4 show but before it was broadcast.

[Source]

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Because I’m a man

There comes a time everyday in a man’s life where he has to stop and ask himself, "Have I done anything to aggrivate my wife today? Should I?" Mine came a few minutes ago as I snickered and revelled at how fun a little demolition would be today. I wised up quickly and decided that I should stay focused on the project at hand which happens to be some cleaning so that I can actually get to the project at hand. However, something had to be done with the stupid energy that was built-up in preparation to do some demolition. As we know, energy must conserved so when stupid energy is generated, stupid energy must be used. So, as I ask outloud, "What’s this switch do?" I quickly remember that most of my home computer network profoundly sits on a single circuit that is connected to a light switch beside the garage door. I guess the tape keeping the switch in the on position should have been a clue. Doh.

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Cathy gets eBay – really well!

So, Cathy has this collection of Rodney Reindeers from Hallmark. They have been discontinued. We had 6 but now there are seven people in the family. I offer to help her find one more but she wants to take care of it. Several days pass and I hear nothing about it so I decide to take some initiative and check eBay. Rodney has about 85 auctions. I exuberantly relay the information to Cathy who responds with, "shutup!"

Apparently Cathy discovered Rodney on eBay on her own. And lost her first auction. In an effort to not lose again, she bid on 6 auctions! She won 3 of them. So, if the number of Rodneys are supposed to match the number of people in house, Cathy had better get to work because it appears we need to more than double the size of the household.