…but stress sure does make for some vivid and bizarre dreams!
Category: Daily Life
Ramblings, often stream of conscious, journaling the events of my life.
Still ticking
I’m not dead yet.
Happy Valentine’s Day
Cathy is my favorite.
My Life as a Comedy – Sarah’s Car Accident
Preface
To fully appreciate the events you are about to read, you must understand that Knoxville had a snow and ice storm over the weekend. The forecast was so certain that announcements on Thursday night declared all area schools closed for Friday, except Pellissippi State Community College where my oldest son attends. The snow came Friday afternoon and PTSCC closed early.
We are a seven person household with five children attending five different schools: pre-school, elementary, middle, high, and college. We have one functioning vehicle.
Setting
On Monday, schools delayed opening two hours due to icy roads. Normally, Sarah gets a ride to the high school with a neighbor who teaches at the high school. To protect identities, let’s call her Tonya. For the past decade, I have worked out of my basement, telecommuting to answer my client’s needs around the world. On this particular Monday, I actually had a rare onsite appointment from 8am to 5pm downtown. Before leaving, I asked Sarah, "Do you have a ride?" She replied, "I called last night and Tonya wasn’t there but they said she’d call back if she couldn’t give me a ride. She didn’t call back so I’m good." I left. At 9am, with 30 minutes left before Sarah’s 2 hour delayed pickup, Tonya’s husband called. To protect identities, let’s call him Randy. Randy explained that Tonya went to the high school early. I knew Cathy, my wife, was fighting a migraine and sleeping in so I called Sarah directly. Sarah explained her boy friend, let’s call him Zach, would drive her to school.
Calamity
Cathy calls me a little amped, "Sarah and Tonya have been in an accident! Air bags went off and Sarah won’t call an ambulance because she’s waiting for the police. You’ve got to call Randy and tell him that Tonya’s been in an accident."
Confusion
I stare into my half finished first cup of coffee trying to shake the fog out of my head and process what I’ve just heard, "Tonya. Sarah. Accident. Call Randy." That doesn’t make sense. Other thoughts: "The woman is always right" "Yes dear" "Want a happy life, keep a happy wife!" I call Randy and about the time his very confused question, "Tonya was in an accident?" hit my ear, I realized Cathy didn’t know Zach drove Sarah so I apologized to Randy for the confusion and called Cathy.
Enter Larry, Moe and Curly stage left
If Cathy could be sheepish over the phone, she pulled it off, "Whoops. I just told the elementary school they had a pregnant woman in a car accident in the parking lot and they needed to get her to a doctor." Later that night I apologize to Randy again who chuckles and asks, "Did you know I was in an accident today?" No way! Then he explains, "See, Tonya took my car in today and I drove hers. So when her principal, let’s call him Dr. Barlett, checked on her because he’d heard she’d been in an accident, probably from the elementary school, she just knew someone had seen her car in an accident, assumed it was her, she knew it had to be me, and called to see if I was okay." Cymbal crash.
Red car syndrome for my heart
Over the weekend I was messing with my father-in-law’s blood pressure cuff and it came back with a reading of 216/119 for me. This put many people up in arms. When the cuff gave its reading, my inlaws and wife were staring at me like I was the walking dead. After HIPPA was broken and my numbers broadcast to the world, I committed to get back on blood pressure medicine. That hasn’t happen yet. Turns out the prescription which I ran out of 4, 5, or 6 months or more ago expired on January 29. Despite the tension in my chest, I cannot get a refill until I see the doctor. Let’s talk about that tension. Prior to the reading, the tension was there but I didn’t think about it. Now I feel like Fred Sanford. “Elizabeth I’m coming to ya!” How much tension? I just stretched and my ribs popped like cracking knuckles. Nothing has changed but perception. I’m fine but aware.
Of Being Dad – Smack Talk
There’s something wonderfully amusing in listening to the four year old talk smack with the thirteen year old.
My Snowy Saturday…working
The children are playing in the snow and taking breaks to warm in front of various video games from killing zombies, to fighting a Legoized Darth Vader, to playing songs with the Beetles. In the meantime, I’m day dreaming of working on the house while pounding keys on the computer. I just overcame one of my weekend’s technical hurdles. I think that calls for a lunch break. After lunch, I return to programming.
And if the crik don’t rise…
Rains have come. The creek out back has enough water in it that we can see the water from the house. I just checked the trench, wanna be French drain, that protects our basement from flood and sure enough, the sides have collapsed. We don’t have water in the basement yet but will if I don’t get out there and dig us out. I need to be programming every second of today but this has to take priority. Back to the Mosquito Coast.
Note: On the above video, after the first twenty seconds or so I figure out how to not have that obnoxious noise.
The creek in this video is at least 5 feet deep.
The roads are not safe!
My daughter just passed her driving test. She’s licensed to drive sans parent! Congrats Sarah!
Not a good day…technically
The day thus far? Our Internet connection is down and my laptop won’t boot. I think I should go troubleshoot other people’s hardware.
From the mouths of babes
Evan, 4.5 years old: "Dad. Can we buy a gold fish?"
Dad, thinking a gold fish is not difficult to care for: "I suppose. What made you want a gold fish?"
Evan: "I want to eat it."
Dad, realizing this isn’t about watching the wrong tv shows: "Oh! You want gold fish snacks."
Today’s Mental Forecast
Tornado.
How long have I been on the Internet?
I’ve been on the Internet so long that I just went to a website that I had never heard of and tried to create an account only to discover I already had an account. So either my memory is worse than I thought or I’ve consumed so much of The Internet that I can now see the whole thing again and enjoy as if I was seeing it for the first time!
From the mouths of babes
Amy, 7.5 years: "Evan’s got a bloody nose!"
Evan, 4.5 years: "Dad! My nose is bleeding!"
Evan: "Oh, it’s just a boogie."
Annnd they’re off! (to a bad start)
Sarah has a portfolio review today near Nashville for a summer art program where she would get to live at a university and work with some very talented people. This is very important which is why I cringed when I saw Cathy’s tweet:
Why is the teenager dressed like a clown for her portfolio review? [Source, Twitter, @cathymccaughan]
After a grueling day yesterday, I failed to do the standard road checks last night. This morning as the girls were walking out the door, I found a nail in a tire. The same nail I found in the same tire weeks ago and forgot about. No problem! I could plug it in minutes only I was out of plugs. 30 minutes later, I had purchased plugs, discovered McDonald’s at Northshore and Pellissippi still has free air, fixed the tire myself, signed a conversation with an old friend, and had two very upset women driving to Nashville. Good luck Sarah!
